Falling For You
by burningdarkfire
Summary: "Just be careful, I might not always be here to catch you."  Kurogane and Fai are just two ordinary boys that meet in perfectly ordinary circumstances, only one is an idiot that belongs to the other.  AU, very light KuroFai  for now
1. First Meeting

**A/N - **Presenting a brand new AU chaptered fic - 26 chapters, along with an epilogue and at least 3 bonus chapters. How do I know? **Because this fic is already written, I only need to post.** (It makes me happy to be able to say that -beams-) (actually, only the core 26 chapters are written. The rest aren't yet XD) But, 26 chapters will take a long time to upload if I do it once a week, which is what I plan.

A more in-depth look at the fic: It's an AU in which Kurogane and Fai are just two normal boys that happen to meet each other. It has somewhat of a different format, which you'll understand when you read it. Fai doesn't cut, he isn't alcoholic, he really isn't that angsty, and overall, this fic is maybe a spoonful of angst, a cupful of fluff, brewed in some nice hurt/comfort and friendship. The chapters start out short, simple, and sweet, and develop as they go, as do the characters.

This is set in a country that's a lovely mix of Japan/China/USA/Canada ^^' Er, just sort of go along with it, okay? XD (Bold age in the title is Kurogane's, italicized age in the subtitle is Fai's. Cookies to anyone that can figure out Kurogane's birthday after a few more chapters- I tell you Fai's.)

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* * *

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**First Meeting (2 Years and 8 Months Old)**

_March 18, 03: 2 Years and 3 Months Old_

"I'm so glad you moved here!" A beautiful woman with long, flowing black hair exclaimed.

"I'm glad too. We really needed a change," her blonde companion smiled. She would have looked like a teenager if not for the faint wrinkles around her eyes.

"I can't say I really understand how you feel; I've lived here forever and couldn't imagine leaving! But I guess each to her own, hmm? Besides, our children seem to be having fun!"

"Aww, look at that! They're getting along so well!"

"Yes, I'm rather surprised. Usually, Kurogane isn't very cooperative when it comes to playing with others. He's too grumpy!"

"It's just a phase, I'm sure. You'll see; he'll be super popular with the ladies when he grows up!"

The sound of laughter floated through the air.

"Ha, won't that be just the sight! In that case, I better take plenty of pictures and give plenty of hugs now, before he no longer has time for his poor mother."

"Oh, I know what you mean. Sometimes, I can't wait for my boys to grow up, other times, I just want to keep them close forever, you know?"

"Yeah, just think. I have another one on the way, and when she's Kurogane's age, he'll be in school already!"

The sound of a thoughtful silence lingered.

"Time just flies, doesn't it?

"I know, it's so true when they say, '_time waits for no one_.'"

* * *

Of course, at nearly three years of age, Kurogane neither understood nor cared to understand what the two women were talking about. All he was concerned about was that his new playmate was brandishing a tie in his face, insisting on playing house, and all the while _refusing_ to pronounce his name properly.

"I told you a million times already, it's Ku-wo-ga-ne!" He cried, exasperated.

The blond stuck his bottom lip out. "I don't wike it, Kuwo-wan."

"KU-WO-GA-NE!" He bellowed, body trembling with infant indignation.

"Whatever you say, Kuwo-wanwan!" Fai beamed cheerfully at him. "Now you be the daddy, and I'll be the mommy!"

"I'm not playing until you get my name wight!" Kurogane could pout just as well as his new friend. "I don't wike any of your weird names!"

"Nyah, Kuro-wan, you're so cute when you make that face," Fai giggled. Kurogane could feel a blush rising to his face.

"Go away," he mumbled. "I don't wanna play house with you. Boys don't play house anyway."

"B-but Kuwo-wan! You said you would!" Fai's eyes widened and flooded.

Overcome with a childish guilt and since one game of house wouldn't kill him, Kurogane took the tie in chubby fingers and looped it around his neck.

"How do you tie this thing?" He complained after struggling with it. "It's impossible!"

Fai approached him and tried to mimic what he had seen his father do several times. Clumsy fingers fumbled with the tie until at last Fai's mother took pity on them and tied it for them.

"Hyuu, Kuwo-wan looks so good!" Fai attempted to whistle and failed. "Hyuu, hyuu!"

"Stop that," Kurogane muttered, embarrassed. "You sound stupid."

The tears were back. "Mommy! Kuwo-wan said I was stupid!"

"Not stupid!" Kurogane said hastily. "I, um, I'm sowwy!"

Fai's eyes dried up immediately, leaving a mischievous twinkle. "Kuwo-daddy's really mean to me!"

Kurogane growled.

Fai laughed and got to his feet, toddling away, leaving Kurogane to chase him.

Halfway across the room though, Fai stumbled and slipped, squealing as he felt himself fall backwards.

Kurogane, who was right behind him, caught him with a small grunt of surprise.

"Hyuu! Thanks, Kuwo-sama!" Fai looked up at his hero and beamed.

"It was nothing," he said, blushing again. "Just be careful, I might not always be here to catch you."

* * *

**Now (21 years and 4 months old)**

Now, Kurogane sits beside a hospital bed, remembering the first time he had met the blond now lying on the verge of death. He holds the blond's hand, willing him to wake up, but he does not.

_Had there been someone else there?_ Kurogane wonders. He seems to remember being forced to say goodbye to another boy, although he had barely talked to him since Fai had occupied all his time. It was all so long ago …

* * *

**A/N - **Enjoyed it? If so, drop me a review, please! Thanks for reading!

Also, I'd like to take this moment to announce my new LJ - click on my homepage button to visit it and comment on some new, never before seen stuff! Thanks ~


	2. Ice Cream

**Ice Cream (4 Years and 7 Months Old)**

_March 3, 05: 4 Years and 2 Months Old_

"Kuro-riiiiin!" a voice trilled out.

"Kurogane," the young black-haired boy automatically corrected his companion, although he had long ago learned how futile it was to try to get the other boy to call him by his proper name. He would have a new nickname every few weeks or so, and he'd be stuck with that one until a new one was found.

As expected, he was ignored. "Kuro-rin, aren't you excited? We're finally starting school!"

"Whatever," he snorted. Although young, or perhaps because of it, he had little tolerance of other people's idiocy. He only had need for four people in his life: his mom, his dad, his little sister, and the blond now tugging on his sleeve. He didn't _need_ to go to meet new people at kindergarten.

"Let's go get some ice cream, Kuro-rin!" Fai grabbed his hand and dragged him across the street into the park.

They stopped in front of the ice cream vendor's cart. "The usual?" Fai was asked by the man selling the treats.

"Yes please!" Fai smiled happily as he was handed a vanilla cone. "And my friend wants a chocolate ice cream!"

"What?" Kurogane jerked his hand out of Fai's. "I don't want any ice cream! All that sweet stuff is icky."

Fai pouted. "Then I'll eat your ice cream! But Kuro-rin, you didn't have to be so mean!" He held his hand out again for Kurogane to take.

"Kurogane," he sighed and linked hands with his friend again. Despite the two years that had passed since he had met Fai, Kurogane had yet to develop a resistance to that adorable pout (although in his defense, they really didn't see each other _that_ often, only a dozen or so times since their first meeting). "Sorry. But you _know_ I don't eat sweet stuff!"

Fai prodded his cheek. "You're just so _weird_, Kuro-rin!"

Kurogane sputtered in indignation. He was ordered to take the chocolate ice cream when it was given and followed Fai to a park bench, not far from where their moms were sitting. He watched as Fai finished off his ice cream cone in record time and demanded for the chocolate one that Kurogane was holding.

"Let's walk while I eat, Kuro-rin!" Fai exclaimed.

Kurogane got up reluctantly. "Let's go then."

"Wait!" Fai commanded childishly. "We have to hold hands again!"

Kurogane groaned. It wasn't that he minded holding hands exactly; it's just that he really wasn't a very touchy feely person as Fai obviously was. "You're so clingy!"

Fai's face fell a bit, but he soon shook it off. "I just don't like being alone, Kuro-rin. I don't want to ever have to be alone."

Kurogane felt bad for making Fai sad, so when he saw the blond reach for his hand again, he didn't resist.

"Hyuu! It's such a nice day today!" Fai happily skipped along, forcing Kurogane to swing his hand along with him.

Kurogane growled.

"Awww! Is Kuro-rin grumpy?" Fai poked his cheek again, and squealed in delight when Kurogane growled again. His hand was poised for another poke when Kurogane glared at him. "He is, he is!"

Fai laughed and ran off, leaving Kurogane to chase him.

_My pride is at stake here!_ The four year old thought as he ran as quickly as he could across green grass and yellow dandelions and under blue sky and sometimes under brown branches and green leaves.

Not fast enough, for when Fai finally slowed and allowed Kurogane to catch up, the raven-haired boy was huffing while the blond was barely breathing hard.

"How … do you … do that?" He asked, panting.

"Do what?" Fai asked innocently, blue eyes sparkling.

"Run so fast!" Kurogane was slightly irked that he, who spent so much time outside with his dad, had been beaten by Fai. "And your ice cream is still in your hand!"

Fai cocked his head to the side and smiled adorably. "I don't know, Kuro-rin. I just like to run, I guess. I like to go fast and I like the feeling of wind in my face."

"Hmph." Now very miffed, Kurogane started walking again. This time, it was Fai who trotting along behind him.

"Kuro-rin, I think we sho-ahh!" Kurogane spun around when he heard Fai's squeak. He was just in time to have ice cream splattered against the front of his shirt and his neck as Fai tottered, on the verge of falling. The shorter boy grabbed onto Kurogane's shirt and steadied himself.

"So, you can run like the wind but you can't walk a meter without tripping?" Kurogane asked, amused.

Fai giggled, but then his expression turned to one of remorse. "Kuro-rin … I'm sorry for ruining your shirt." Both boys were now smeared with chocolate ice cream from the waist up.

"It's okay," Kurogane didn't really mind. He had plenty of other black shirts like this one. "I'm just glad you didn't fall."

"I have Kuro-sama to catch me whenever I fall because he's such a good friend!" Fai announced. Kurogane blushed slightly.

"You have ice cream in your hair," Kurogane unsubtly changed the subject. "We can go wash it off at the water fountain."

Fai's face light up and he responded quickly with, "You have chocolate on your neck. We can …"

"What … are you doing?" Kurogane asked, bewildered. Fai was now licking his neck like a kitten.

"I'm a vampire, and I'm sucking Kuro-rin's chocolate blood!" Fai giggled again. "You're so yummy, Kuro-rin!"

Kurogane growled. "Get off me!"

Fai laughed. "Hyuu! Kuro-rin's mad again!" He ran off.

Kurogane groaned inwardly. _Not this again …_

* * *

**Now (21 years and 4 months old)**

Kurogane furrows his brow and thinks hard back to that day. There was someone else, he thinks, someone else that had remained between their two mothers the entire time. But despite his concentration, he can't remember who it was, or what he looked like.

_Could he have been important?_ Kurogane can't think of why someone he can't even recall would have had a profound effect on Fai.

So for now, all he can do is remember.

* * *

**A/N **- A pretty fluffy chapter, I guess XD The plot sort of starts moving in the next chapter, so I hope you will all keep reading and drop me a review about what you think! Thanks for reading!


	3. Video Game

**Video Game (4 Years and 8 Months Old)**

_March 24, 05: 4 Years and 3 Months Old_

Kurogane had been concentrating fiercely on his latest video game when he heard the phone. When he poked his head into his parents' room curiously, he saw his mom speaking in hushed whispers to whoever it was on the other end.

"Not now, Kurogane," his father said, noticing his son lurking in the doorway. "We're talking about adult things."

Kurogane stuck his lower lip out. "I understand adult things!"

"No, you don't," his dad smiled and ruffled his hair. "Come on, why don't we play your video game together?"

"I don't need any help!" Kurogane had said immediately. "I can do it by myself!"

"That's my son," Mr. Suwa smiled, if a little sadly. "Always so independent."

"You always told me to learn how to do things by myself," Kurogane pointed out.

His father laughed. "So I did. Well, even if you don't want my help, how about you at least tell me what this video game is about?"

Kurogane eagerly complied. "See, I play the part of this ordinary guy who has to go across a whole bunch of worlds to save his princess because she got stolen away by the bad guy, and along the way I have to fight a bunch of evil bosses, but I get to gather a lot of power ups and stuff to become stronger and I meet some people that help me too."

His dad remained silent and Kurogane looked at him in alarm. "Dad, what's wrong?"

"Son," His father sounded distant. "Do you know why that character is willing to go across whole worlds and face so many dangers to rescue a princess?"

Kurogane had a feeling he knew, but he didn't really want to say it, so he took the second thought that popped into his mind. "Well, a princess is an important person …"

"Yes, she is," Mr. Suwa said. "But Kurogane, if your mother or I was captured by an evil guy, would you go on a journey to save us?"

"Of course!" Kurogane was insulted that his father would imply otherwise.

"If Tomoyo was kidnapped, would you rescue her too?"

Kurogane would do anything to make sure his baby sister was safe, and his father knew it. "Of course!"

"And why would you do so, son?" His father pressed.

"Well … you're all important people to me, and …" Kurogane hesitated, and then rushed on. "And, well, I love you all."

His dad ruffled his hair again. "That's my boy."

Kurogane frowned. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing, really," Mr. Suwa said. "I just wanted to make sure you didn't grow up ignorant of love, and all that can be gained and lost because of it."

Later that night, Kurogane had been lying in bed when he heard the first sobs. He got out from under his covers and quietly crept down the hallway, pressing his ear to his parents' door. Due to the cries and the thick doors, he only caught bits and snippets of the conversation, but they were enough to scare him.

"… terrible …"

"… so sorry … if only …"

"… lot of pain, they say … often screams …"

"… hope …"

"… doctors say …"

"… Fai …"

"… might … let him go …"

Heart pounding in terror, Kurogane returned to bed and wished on all his tears that his friend would be okay.

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months old)**

_Back then,_ he thinks, _I didn't know what dead meant. I thought it was like gone, or disappeared, but if you're gone or if you have disappeared, then there's still hope that you might return. If you're dead, then there is nothing. No hope. Only tearful memories._

Kurogane looks at the pale hand in his, at the pale face in the bed beside his chair, and can't shake the feeling that he's missing something.

* * *

**A/N** - I didn't even notice the connection between Mario games and Tsubasa until I started writing this chapter, and then it hit me all of a sudden XD This is the shortest chapter and I assure you that they get (much) longer the closer they get to the end :D Reviews? Thanks for reading!


	4. Kindergarten

**Kindergarten (4 Years and 8 Months Old; Part II)**

_April 1, 05: 4 Years and 3 Months Old_

Kurogane was beginning to despair when he watched a block tower being knocked down for the third time by two clumsy boys.

He was getting really grumpy by the time he had to turn away the third group of girls to ask him to play dress-up and tea party with them.

He had resigned himself to days of boredom and coping with idiots when a familiar weight latched itself onto his back.

"Kuro-piiiii," a voice whispered slyly. "Were you looking for me?"

Kurogane turned around as Fai let go and slid off him. "You're ok!"

His friend tilted his head curiously, bouncing up and down slightly. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I … uh …" Now feeling like a fool, Kurogane wondered if he had mistaken what he had heard just slightly over a week ago. His parents had never said anything to him, and he never knew if they had found out he was at their door. True, he had heard a mutter of something that sounded vaguely like 'private funeral', but his parents could just have easily been talking about something else. "No reason, I guess."

"Was Kuro-pii worried because I'm a little bit late?" Fai teased, poking Kurogane in the chest. "It's okay Kuro-pii, if you ever really need to find me, I'll be there for you!"

Blushing, Kurogane glanced away. His gaze locked onto his new teacher, a middle-age woman he had been instructed to call 'Akira-san', and Fai's mother. He frowned. The blond woman seemed tired and worn, and her eyes were swollen from tears and lack of sleep.

"Hey Fai," he said, cutting off the other's chatter. "Is your mom okay?"

"Of course she is!" But Kurogane noticed that Fai's smile became a bit strained, not unlike the one on his mother's face. "It's just allergies, that's all."

Kurogane was about to pursue the subject when he was interrupted.

"What's your name?" Some of the girls Kurogane had previously turned away were now clustered around Fai, looking at him eagerly. Personally, Kurogane thought they resembled hungry predators ganging up on a helpless rabbit, or something of the sort.

"My name?" Fai beamed, thriving under the attention. "I guess you can call me Fai!"

"Fai-kun," one of the bolder girls stepped forward. "Will you come play with us? Kurogane-kun didn't want to, but you seem like fun!"

"It's not that I'm no fun, I'm just not interested in tea parties and dresses and dolls!" Kurogane explained defensively.

Fai gasped, slapping Kurogane on the chest. "Kuro-pii! How can you not be interested in those things?"

Kurogane stared in disbelief. "How _can_ you be interested in those things?"

"We'll have to fix that right away," Fai declared firmly, ignoring the question. He grabbed Kurogane's hand and followed the giggling girls to their corner. "Now, Kuro-pii, what should we dress you up in?"

"He could be a knight!" A girl suggested happily. "No one else really likes being a knight."

"No! He could be a ninja!" Another one argued. "Doesn't he just _look_ scary?"

"How about a soldier?"

"A racecar driver?"

"A soccer player!"

Fai's voice cut through all the chirping girls. "I think …" he paused for dramatic effect. "Kuro-pii should be a _princess_."

There was a brief moment of silence before all the girls burst out laughing and cheering. Kurogane could feel his face glowing red and he sulked, crossing his arms angrily.

"I am _not_ going to be a princess," he muttered. Everyone looked disappointed, except for Fai.

Fai just grinned.

Kurogane was beginning to feel nervous. How was he going to get duped into doing what Fai wanted now? He steadied his resolve and swore not to give in.

Fai sidled closer. "Kuuuuro-pii … if you don't play with me, I'll tell everyone you still sleep with a teddy bear."

"I do not!" Kurogane huffed.

"Doesn't matter, does it," Fai's eyes twinkled. "Everyone will believe it anyway."

When his mom came to pick him up, she was faced with a very angry son in a sparkly pink dress. Tomoyo was _delighted_.

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months old)**

Despite the humiliation that he still remembers clearly, Kurogane smiles at that memory. Fai had always been one of two people (the other being Tomoyo) that had him wrapped around his little finger.

_Starting from that first day of school,_ he reflects, _Fai was always so popular, making so many friends. He was a social butterfly, but he never left me behind._

He squeezes the hand he's holding. _Thank you._

* * *

**A/N** - Kurogane weighs the options of wearing a dress in public and making it very, very clear that he didn't want to do so, and having it spread that he still chose to sleep with a teddy bear (which, just for the record, he does. XD) - and he choses the dress XD

I realize that the ages/dates/school years may be slightly off in this fanfic .. because I'm really not very clear how the school system works in Japan (which is what it's based off of) and I didn't do any more than the absolute minimal amount of research, so I'll ask readers again to just sort of go along with it, kay? ^^'


	5. Friends

**Friends (7 Years and 1 Month Old)**

_September 1, 07: 6 Years and 8 Months Old_

"Look, Kuro-chi!" Fai pointed across the yard at what appeared to be a lone boy. "There's the new kid."

Kurogane squinted. "What's he doing?"

The boy appeared to be running somewhere by himself, flailing his arms around and generally making a scene. His voice drifted over to the three friends standing together.

Souma, who Kurogane had first met at the studio, swatted Fai's hand. "It's rude to point, Fai-kun."

"But what is he doing?" None of them could find an answer to this. The boy was now sprawled on the ground, his uniform covered in dust and dirt, as if he had given up all hope and resigned himself to a lifetime eating worms.

"Whatever. Leave the spazz alone. Let's go eat lunch." Kurogane turned around, expecting Souma and Fai to follow.

"Kuro-chi, let's ask the new kid to eat with us!" Fai suggested, latching onto his arm.

"Get off." Kurogane shook his arm, trying to detach Fai.

"Don't be mean, Kuro-chi," Fai pouted. He loosened his grip a little but didn't let go. "Come on, let's go say hi!"

"Doumeki-kun and Himiwari-chan from the student council are already saying hi to him," Kurogane protested. Sure enough, the pair had come to a stop in front of the boy and was talking to him.

"Let's go!" Fai said again before tugging Kurogane along. Grumbling all the way, Kurogane allowed himself to be towed over.

The new boy seemed to panic slightly when he realized he was surrounded by five strangers.

"My name is Himiwari Kunogi," Himiwari introduced herself. "I'm on the student council with Shizuka Doumeki-kun here!" She pointed to the tall boy beside her.

"Hn," Doumeki grunted.

"You can call me Fai!" Fai said enthusiastically.

"Souma," the girl told him simply, just as was her style.

Kurogane felt everyone's eyes on him, but before he could speak, Fai chirped up. "His name is Kuro-chi!"

"Don't infest his mind with your weird nicknames!" Kurogane roared and swatted at Fai.

"They're really best friends," Souma told Watanuki, who was still sprawled on the ground.

"We are not! This idiot is too much of an idiot for us to be friends!" Kurogane yelled, clenching his fists.

"Kuro-chi's anger is his way of expressing affection," Fai informed while nuzzling against Kurogane's arm.

The new boy pushed himself up and looked at each of them seriously. "I'm Kimihiro Watanuki." He looked at Himiwari and Doumeki. "Himiwari-chan, you're so adorable, but what is a lump like this doing on the student council?"

Himiwari giggled. "Doumeki-kun is very popular with the ladies."

Watanuki rose and poked Doumeki in the chest. "This thing? THIS EMOTIONLESS ROCK IS POPULAR? HE 'HN'ED AT ME. WHAT KIND OF WELCOME IS THAT?"

"You're so loud," Doumeki complained, covering his ears and wandering off.

"I'm so glad Doumeki-kun and Watanuki-kun are getting along so well!" Himiwari said cheerfully. "You two are such great friends already!"

Watanuki gaped at her, speechless for a moment.

* * *

"What do you think of Watanuki-kun?" Fai asked him later that afternoon, when they were playing together at Kurogane's house.

Kurogane looked at him in surprise. "The new kid? He's okay, I guess. Kind of weird."

"Hmmm." Fai stood up and wandered over to where Tomoyo was sitting with two of her friends that she had met at the park, Syaoran and Sakura. "What are you three doing?"

"I'm designing clothes for Sakura-chan!" Tomoyo chirped cheerfully. "She's so cute!"

"You're both adorable!" Fai agreed. "And Syaoran-kun here is pretty handsome too, don't you think, Sakura-chan?"

"U-um … yes!" Sakura stuttered, bright red.

"Hey, Tomoyo-chan, do you think you could help me with something?" Fai asked her. Kurogane stared at him suspiciously.

"No problem, Fai-kun!" Tomoyo said helpfully. "What do you need?"

Fai leaned forward and whispered in her ear. When Tomoyo giggled and shot a look at Kurogane, he knew he was in trouble.

"I think I'll go …" But he had no time to think of something to do before Tomoyo skipped to his side and held onto one of his arms; Fai soon joined her so that Kurogane was trapped between the two of them.

"Kuro-chi, won't you-" Fai started, grinning in delight.

"-play house with us?" Tomoyo finished, purple eyes gleaming. "It'll be so much fun!"

"No way." Kurogane tried furtively to free himself and escape. "Playing house is for girls."

Fai and Tomoyo both pouted. "Buuuuut I wanna!"

Kurogane groaned. "Will you leave me alone if I say no?"

"Nope!" Tomoyo replied cheerfully.

"Not a chance!" Fai agreed.

"Fine," Kurogane grumbled. "But I refuse to get dressed up and I'm not going to let either of you climb all over me!"

"Whatever you say, Kuro-chi!" Fai patted his head consolingly.

"KUROGANE!"

"Okay, Kuro-chi, you'll be daddy, of course, and I'll be mommy, and these three will be our children!" Fai gestured at Syaoran and Sakura to join them.

"Syaoran-kun needs to be adopted though," Tomoyo interrupted.

"Why's that?" Fai asked, frowning.

"Well, if he's adopted, then Syaoran-kun and Sakura-chan will be able to date each other! It'll be even more fun!" Tomoyo explained.

Fai gasped. "That's a great idea, Tomoyo-chan!"

Sakura and Syaoran blushed.

"You two don't mind, do you?" Fai asked them hopefully. "It'll be fun!"

"N-no," Sakura answered shyly. She looked at Syaoran. The boy was looking determinedly in the other direction, but gave a slight nod of consent anyway.

Kurogane spent the next few hours acting as a living doll for Tomoyo and Fai, who ordered him around and instructed him on what to say and what to do. Finally, Kurogane and Fai were both 'dead' and after a long funeral, during which Kurogane nearly inhaled a few grains of rice.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" He roared, rice pooling around him as he sat up.

Tomoyo tried to push him back down. "You're dead; lie down!"

"I'm not going to lie down if you're going to throw rice at my face!"

"People do that at funerals," Tomoyo insisted. "I've seen it on TV!"

Fai, who had also been lying down in his 'casket', rose. "Actually Tomoyo-chan, I think that's for weddings. For good luck and fertility, or something."

Tomoyo paused. "Oh." Then she brightened and took another handful of rice and threw it in Kurogane's face.

He sputtered incomprehensibly in rage.

"For good luck and fertility, Kurogane," Tomoyo giggled and squealed as her brother lunged forward and scooped her up, carrying her around the room and uttering threats before finally dumping her on the sofa.

* * *

"Finally, some quiet," Kurogane grumbled as he plopped down on the very same couch a few more hours later.

His house had been vibrating with noise for what seemed like forever, since when Sakura's parents and Syaoran's parents had come to pick them up, all the adults had chatted for such a long time until they were finally persuaded to stay for dinner. They had left soon after and now Tomoyo was getting ready for bed, exhausted from a long day.

"Kuro-chi!" A blond blur dropped down on top of him.

"I spoke too soon," Kurogane sighed.

Fai lifted his head up. "Did Kuro-chi say something?"

"Get off." Kurogane rolled over, forcing Fai to scramble up or risk falling onto the ground.

"That wasn't nice, Kuro-chi!" Fai scolded as he settled himself again.

Kurogane gave up and let a content silence settle between them for a few minutes.

"Hey," he said finally. When Fai made a little humming noise, he continued. "Why did you want to go over to the new kid so badly today?"

Fai propped himself up on Kurogane's chest. "Because he seemed so lonely."

Kurogane eyed Fai. He hadn't known the other boy was capable of that kind of thought. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you know. He was all by himself," Fai explained slowly. "Being lonely isn't a very nice feeling."

"Yeah, I guess." Kurogane stared at the ceiling, turning this new thought over in his mind.

"I'm glad for Syaoran-kun too," Fai said quietly. "Tomoyo-chan told me she and Sakura-chan just found him in the park one day, sitting by himself under a tree and doing nothing. He must've been so lonely, only he was too shy to talk to anyone …"

"I guess." A silence fell over them again.

Then Fai's upbeat voice cut through the quiet. "But I'll never be lonely, because Kuro-chi will always be there, right?"

"KUROGANE!" Kurogane rolled over quickly this time, depositing a squealing and laughing blond onto the floor. He chased Fai around the house until his parents came to bring him back home.

**

* * *

**

Now (21 years and 5 months)

Kurogane grins slightly at the thought of the beginning of what had been, and still is, a very long and lasting friendship. Even as they changed schools and their bodies and minds grew, the six of them had stayed together.

_Much like Tomoyo and her two friends, _Kurogane thinks. The three of them were also still close, having lasted throughout the years. Sakura and Syaoran were dating now, as everyone had expected.

Kurogane's life would have been much different if it hadn't been for his friends, because with them, he has never known what it means to be lonely.

* * *

**A/N** - And the cast expands! This was one of the chapters that I came back and wrote near the end, so if there's a slight difference in style, forgive me. I tried to keep it uniform, but my writing changed a lot over the months that I worked on this ... :S

Anyway, hoped you guys enjoyed this chapter. Reviews? Love you for reading, even if you don't review :D (but please do, if you have a moment XD)


	6. Pills

**Pills (8 Years and 5 Months Old)**

_December 8-9, 08: 7 Years and 11 Months Old-8 Years Old and 0 Months Old_

"How do we know," Fai whispered. "That this isn't just all a dream?"

Kurogane chanced a glance at the other boy, who was sitting just out a reach beside him in the grassy field. They were in the park again, only this time it was lit by a near full moon, as it was near midnight, and it was cold enough for frost to form.

"What do you mean?" Kurogane asked when it was clear Fai wasn't going to continue without prompting.

"How do we know, that we're not just living in someone's dreams? Maybe this is all just a dream of yours, Kurogane, and maybe I'm just a figment of your imagination. Maybe everyone and everything that I think exists is just part of your imagination, and you're the only thing here that's real. Or maybe I only exist in these times, when I'm with you." Despite the meter that separated them, Kurogane felt as though Fai was somewhere unattainable by him.

"We don't know," Kurogane said carefully, uncertainly.

"Exactly," mused Fai. "How do we know what is real, and what is imaginary? You can touch real things, and you can feel them. But does that mean that sadness isn't real? Does that mean that _death_ isn't real?"

Kurogane's head was beginning to hurt. He was only a young boy, not capable of fathoming questions like these.

Unaware that his companion wasn't able to keep up, Fai kept on talking. "But I guess, it would be so much sadder if this was all a dream, wouldn't it? That would mean, when people die, there's no hope for a better place, they're just _gone_. What would be the point of living, if it was just a dream, and this 'life' wasn't real?"

"Even if this was all just a dream," Kurogane interjected, understanding the last part at least. "Surely it would be a better dream if you tried to live a good life and you tried to be happy?"

"Ahh," Fai sighed. "But Kurogane, what is happiness?"

Kurogane cast around for words. "Well, I suppose, happiness is when you smile and when you laugh, and when you just feel _good_."

"Smiling … laughing …" Fai repeated. "Is that happiness? What's sadness then, Kurogane?"

Kurogane shrugged. This was all beyond him. "Sadness is when you're frowning or crying."

"I haven't cried once," Fai whispered. "Not when I was born, not … three days ago, when I found Mom dead in her room with pills everywhere. Does that mean I've never been sad?"

Kurogane remained silent.

"Before she … before she died, Kurogane, for a long, long time before she died, Mom didn't cry either. She just took her pills, six every day, because they were supposed to stop her from being sad and they were supposed to help her sleep without nightmares." Fai burrowed his head between his arms and rested his forehead on his knees. His next words were muffled. "They were supposed to stop her from being sad, but that didn't work. They were supposed to help her sleep, but that worked _too_ well."

The funeral for Mrs. Fluorite had been earlier in the day. Kurogane had hated it, all the morbid adults dressed in black and holding flowers and weeping quietly as though it would be a sin to sob with emotion. He had only caught a glimpse or two of the pale blond hair that belonged to the boy he knew better than anyone, that is to say, not at all.

Afterwards, he had escaped his parents and their mourning to try and find Fai, but his mother quickly caught up with him and scolded him for running off. He was dragged back to the car and they went home, Kurogane steaming with frustration in the backseat because he could tell that Fai needed him, needed someone to talk to.

When late at night, they had gotten a phone call from a worried Mr. Fluorite telling them that Fai was missing; Kurogane had volunteered immediately to go look for him.

Here they were, in the freezing moonlight.

Fai's words were tumbling over each other in the haste to reach freedom, to be the first to fall into the sweet biting winter air. "Why would she leave me? I tried, Kurogane, I really did, I tried so hard to be enough. I tried so hard to get her to stay, but she couldn't look at me anymore, she couldn't stand the sound of my voice and the beating of my heart, she couldn't live with the fact that _I_ was alive."

Kurogane could feel the tears flowing down his cheeks. Despite the fact that he couldn't understand how a mother could feel that way about her son, he couldn't stand the raw pain behind Fai's words. He scooted closer and put his arm around his friend. In doing so, his jacket sleeve slipped up and he caught sight of his watch. Midnight had come and gone.

"Maybe we should get back," Kurogane suggested. "It's late."

Fai shook his head mutely. "I don't want to go back. It's too quiet now … the house feels too empty."

"Then you can stay at my place tonight," Kurogane decided firmly, standing up. "My parents won't mind. Now come on, before someone comes out to look for us."

Fai sighed and rose unsteadily. Kurogane put an arm around him and lead him back home.

Watching the blond boy stare unseeingly in front of him, Kurogane thought he had never known a worse time and way to have a birthday.

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months old)**

'_How do we know that this isn't just all a dream?'_

_My answer is still the same as that day,_ Kurogane muses. _We don't, but that doesn't stop us from living. Even at that age, he was so different from me. He found hope in death, while I found my hope in living._

Kurogane wonders when Fai started looking for a way out of this dream.

* * *

**A/N **- This was the second chapter I wrote for this fic, I think. You might be able to tell that I wrote it right after I watched Alice in Wonderland, way back in March XD First bit of angst, with Kurogane trying to comfort Fai X3

Reviews are love :D


	7. Crash

**Crash (8 Years and 9 Months Old)**

_April 11, 09: 8 Years and 4 Months Old_

No one was exactly sure how it happened, only that it was a tragedy.

The only one that might know wouldn't talk. He couldn't talk, actually, seeing as he was lying in a hospital with several wires hooked up to him.

Kurogane only knew that there were tears staining his face again as he pressed his hands to the glass and stared desperately at the unmoving shape on the white hospital bed. He didn't trust all these doctors with their fancy beeping machines and their metal instruments that flashed under the harsh hospital lights. He needed to see for himself that Fai was really alright, that he would live.

"Can I go in?" He pleaded once more.

His parents shook their heads in unison. "He's resting right now, Kurogane. Besides, you don't really want …"

Kurogane understood that his parents were protecting him (they had even gone so far as to leave Tomoyo at home), but they didn't understand that this was something he had to do. "When Fluorite-san passed away, he didn't have anyone to hold his hand. He died all alone, crushed by twisted metal and burnt by flames. I don't want Fai," Fai who is already so unstable and so afraid of being alone, of being left behind, "I don't want Fai to feel as if he's alone too."

"Fai-kun won't die," his mother assured him. "The doctors are already certain of that. He might … he might have some scars, but he'll live, at least."

Still, she didn't stop him from pushing open the heavy door and walking inside the room. He stood on his toes, straining to get a good look at the face resting on the high hospital bed. All of a sudden, he felt himself be lifted up, and looked around in alarm to see his dad holding him up.

He stared eagerly at Fai's face, certain for a moment that when he saw Fai's eyes twinkling at him he would be okay. But Fai was asleep and his face was unusually pale, giving him the look of someone that really should be in a hospital. What he could see of Fai's body, that is, his shoulders and up, were all covered in bandages and gauze, some of which was stained a faint red. His beautiful blond hair that used to be so silky was matted with speckles of blood that hadn't been entirely washed off.

"Let me down," he whispered, suddenly more afraid for Fai than he had been when he walked in. When his father obeyed, he tenderly took a pale hand in his own tan one and gripped it.

He dimly registered his mother crying in the background and his father putting his arm around her, making soothing noises and trying to comfort her.

"What a poor dear," she hiccupped. "First his mother, now his father not even half a year later …"

"I know," his father responded. "And everything that happened before …"

"Both his parents," his mother sniffled. "They worked so hard to raise him well, his father especially, after what happened last December. I couldn't believe that she would just choose to … to die like that, I thought I knew her …"

"Even strong people break in the end," his father sighed. "After everything … I'm not saying it was right, but at least, I feel I can sort of understand what she was thinking … It must have been so hard."

"I know what you mean." Kurogane's mother seemed to quiet down a little and got her tears under control.

Their family is one burdened by many sorrows and secrets," his father said quietly. "Tragedy after tragedy has shattered them and broken down two of the strongest people I ever had the pleasure to meet, leading them straight into Death's arms."

"Well, Death won't take Fai away," Kurogane turned around and interrupted his parents defiantly. "Not if I can do anything about it!"

"Death claims everyone," his father replied bluntly.

"Not before his time then." Kurogane felt the tears flow faster, and though he rubbed at his eyes, he was helpless to stop them. "Not until he finds the meaning of happiness."

"When did you get so poetic?" his dad teased, although the humor was lost in the sterile hospital air.

Kurogane could still feel a faint blush color his already blotchy cheeks. "It's just something we talked about once."

His parents were silent, as if they had been surprised.

"This boy has seen and thought of things far beyond his age," Kurogane's mother broke the tension at last. "We better take good care of him."

"We're the closest thing he has to family now," Mr. Suwa agreed.

Kurogane nodded, turning back around to grip Fai's hand again. He kept his gaze steady on Fai's face and watched intently for any sign of life, any sign that he might be coming back to them.

As he heard his parents continue to murmur behind him, Kurogane made two silent promises to Fai. He would always take care of Fai, no matter what, because Fai was important to him. He would make sure Fai was never lonely, because it seemed to be something he feared so much.

He would keep those promises as well as he could for the rest of his life, Kurogane told himself.

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months old)**

Kurogane knows now that he has broken both his promises.

He supposes that at some point, Fai had descended to a point where even Kurogane, one of two people that have ever seen beyond the pretty surface that Fai shows the world, could not reach him, and so Fai had spiraled down and down, hiding dark secrets and fooling everyone.

It was the broken promises that led them here, where Kurogane once again holds a pale hand in his and wishes desperately that his friend will return to linger among the living.

_It must be so terrifying to be alone,_ Kurogane thinks.

* * *

**A/N** - I'm really too tired to write a coherent author's note right now. Read, review, and you'll help make my day. :D


	8. Return

**Return (8 Years and 10 Months Old)**

_May 14, 09: 8 Years and 5 Months Old_

"Fai!" Kurogane called out happily. "You're back!"

He energetically barreled towards the small shape at the edge of the soccer field. He skidded to a stop about a meter away when he saw Fai flinch and look around.

"Sorry." He bounded in front of Fai's view. "I'm just so glad that you're well enough to come back to school again!"

"Yeah, Kurogane kept on sulking without you around!" Souma teased as she joined them. "It was so depressing watching him droop around!"

"I did not _droop_," Kurogane insisted. "I'm allowed to worry about him, aren't I?"

Souma merely snorted and shook her head, then looked at Fai with a smile. "Seriously though, welcome back."

"Thank you," Fai chuckled. "It's good to be back."

Soon a cluster of kids were swarming around them, everyone calling out to Fai. Although almost everyone had been to see him in the hospital, most were not aware of when he would be released.

"It's nice to see you again, Fai-san!" Tomoyo beamed warmly at him. "I was so tired of Kurogane drooping around!"

"I WASN'T DROOPING!"

Syaoran and Sakura, both classmates of Tomoyo, approached them next and offered their congratulations on his release.

Fai giggled after they left and asked Tomoyo, "Is it just me, or are they closer than ever?"

"They're really good friends," Tomoyo grinned. Sakura was her best friend and she loved to talk about her best friend more than anything.

"Aren't you guys a little young to be thinking about dating?" Kurogane frowned. He didn't want his baby sister to start looking at guys yet.

"I doubt they are," Fai poked Kurogane on the cheek. "Don't give them ideas now, Kuro-bun."

Kurogane groaned. "So you still haven't given up on the nicknames."

"Of course not, Kuro-bun!" Fai declared. "Then you might think that I don't love you anymore!"

"Whatever," Kurogane mumbled, wishing that he lacked the ability to blush. "Come on, let's go find the teacher. We have to get you caught up, since you missed almost the entire first month of grade 4."

He tugged on Fai's sleeve and led him across the field, not even complaining once when Fai slipped his hand into Kurogane's. He was just glad the energetic blond was able to skip along again and didn't have to lie on a bed with tubes attached to him and bandages everywhere.

He was just glad the blond was alive.

* * *

Later that night, Kurogane got a call from Fai.

"Can you meet me at the park?"

"Of course!" Kurogane eagerly agreed. Calling out a goodbye to his parents with a quick explanation as to where he was going, he ran out the door. Arriving at the park, he peered around, straining his eyes in the darkness of the slim crescent moon to find Fai.

Noticing at last a moving shadow approaching the field from the play structure, he walked quickly towards it.

"Fai!" he greeted him with a clasp on the shoulder. Fai twitched and let out a strangled gasp. "Sorry! I didn't mean to startle you …"

"It's alright," Fai said, though clearly still a little bit uncomfortable. "It's just … I don't see too well out of my left eye, and I'm just not quite used to it yet."

Kurogane frowned. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I didn't want you to worry," Fai shook his head for emphasis. "You already did so much for me, coming to see me every day after school, bringing sweets and just being there …"

Kurogane gently knocked Fai on the head. "Stupid. I would only worry more if there were things that were troubling you that you kept hidden from me."

Fai smiled, but it soon disappeared as if it was too much effort. He sighed wearily, as if he was resigned to do something he didn't want to.

"What's wrong?" Kurogane asked. "Is it Ashura-san?"

Despite their efforts, Kurogane's parents had been unable to adopt Fai, and responsibility for him had instead passed to a man named Ashura King, in accordance with a neatly folded will that had been left by Fai's parents.

Ashura King was an outsider. He came from some far off northern country whose name Kurogane could never remember, with skin as pale as Fai's and hair as dark as Kurogane's. Despite repeated questionings of his parents, Kurogane could find out little more about Ashura than the fact that he was related to Fai in some way.

Fai shook his head again. "Ashura-san is fine. He's very kind to me and he doesn't seem upset at all about having to move halfway across the world so I could stay in my house."

"Then what is it?" Kurogane had felt and ignored it earlier today, but now the feeling that something was wrong; that Fai was somehow _different _was overwhelming.

Another sigh sounded through the air. It didn't take long for Kurogane to figure out what was missing – Fai's ever present smile and cheer was gone.

Ever present since Fai's last birthday, it had been a bit negligent on Kurogane's part, but he had been so relieved to get away from how frighteningly distant Fai had been that he had not looked too deeply into all the smiles.

He realized just how disastrous that ignorance had been when he saw Fai's face. He looked so _lonely_, so lost, sitting next to Kurogane in the darkness, staring up at the stars and clenching his hands in the grass.

Struck by his epiphany, Kurogane didn't pause to think before he scrambled over and knelt in front of the other boy.

"Fai," he said earnestly, his voice resounding with the innocence of someone who was still a boy, "If you ever need to talk, you know I'm here right? I might not always understand, but I'll do my best to try and help you, if I can. You're my best friend, Fai, and I don't want to lose you."

"Thank you, Kurogane," Fai looked at him seriously. "You're my best friend too, Kuro-bun. It wouldn't be worth living if it weren't for you."

"Don't say things like that!" Kurogane scolded, partly in anger, partly in fear. "There's always something that's worth living for, and I doubt I'm the only one."

"Mmmm." The sound Fai made wasn't one of agreement, or disagreement, but one that told Kurogane that he wanted a change of subject.

"Won't you tell me what's wrong?" Kurogane asked.

"I think," Fai smiled at him and paused. "I think I've reached a decision."

"And what's that?" Kurogane was eager now that they had steered clear of talk of death.

"I don't think I'll tell you just yet," Fai laughed. "I doubt you'll like it very much, and like I said before, I don't want to lose you. You're the only one that knows me from before."

Kurogane's face fell. "You're being all confusing again," he mumbled. He didn't like the tone of Fai's voice, the way he had said it. He made it sound as if Kurogane was valuable only because of when he had met Fai, and not for any other reason.

"I'm sorry, Kurogane," Fai said gently, leaning forward to capture the other's eyes in his again. "I didn't mean it that way. It's just that … if it weren't for you … I'm afraid, I guess, of forgetting of how I was before."

"What do you mean by before?" Kurogane's feelings had been soothed, but his curiosity piqued. "Before what?"

Fai smiled, but it was a bitter smile. "I'll tell you one day, Kurogane."

Kurogane nodded in consent. He had enough trust that Fai would hold to his word and tell him in good time.

"You shouldn't smile if you don't mean it, Fai," Kurogane remarked, sitting back. "I mean, you're really good at it and all, good enough to become an actor, but doesn't it get tiring?"

Pain flashed briefly across Fai's face only to be quickly replaced by yet another smile. "I don't like people asking too many questions. I don't call just anyone out to talk to at night, you know."

His smile fell as he lay down and stared up. "Besides, Kurogane, I'm still looking for the meaning of happiness and sadness, and since I can't cry, I might as well smile and laugh."

Kurogane was hit again by the feeling of a distance yawning between them.

_He's so far away,_ he thought. _As untouchable as the distant diamond sky._

**

* * *

**

Now (21 years and 5 months old)

A smile is a strange thing to characterize someone by, Kurogane realizes now, as he sits in a room where smiles are rarely ever present, but ever since that night when they had discussed (or rather, Fai had asked unanswerable questions about) life and death, reality and imagination, happiness and sadness, it had been rare to see Fai without a smile.

_That night was the first of many cries for help that I chose to ignore_. Kurogane is angry with himself for not reaching out more. Maybe if he had pushed more, Fai wouldn't be here. _Or maybe, I tried to help in my way, but it was never enough. _

_After all, at that age, I was still clinging onto an innocent boyhood that Fai had lost a long time ago._

**A/N -** Just felt I should mention this - I _haven't_ read RG Veda, so I don't actually know what Souma's character is like. For this fanfic, Souma, as well as Kendappa (who will appear later), Kuro's parents, Fai's parents, and to a certain extent Ashura and Chii, are basically OCs with a familiar CLAMP name attached.

Reviews are love :D


	9. Welcome

**Welcome (8 Years and 10 Months Old; Part II)**

_May 15, 09: 8 Years and 5 Months Old_

Kurogane was rather nervous about Fai attending all of his regular classes as usual (since the day before had been mostly meetings with various teachers throughout the school) after the depressing talk during the night.

His worries were proved ridiculous when he saw how charming Fai was with everyone, receiving welcome back gifts and hugs, and even, from a few bold girls, kisses on the cheek, with grace. He smiled and laughed as if he didn't have a care in the world, and as Kurogane was pushed aside for the umpteenth time, he felt himself getting the slightest bit angry.

He wished that Fai didn't feel as though he had to hide all of his pain behind empty grins and laughs that were a little bit too loud, but at the same time he was just selfish enough to like the fact that he was special, that Fai trusted him more than anyone else. He felt bad for the boy that had been broken down beneath his sorrows, but, partially because he couldn't understand, he felt sort of angry that he had allowed himself to break down.

It wasn't until he was walking home alone after school, wondering grumpily where Fai had run off to, that he noticed while not everyone had fallen for his charm, everyone had fallen for the smile.

"Freak!" A boy yelled. Kurogane heard a thump and a small muffled squeak of pain. He turned and sprinted towards the sound, peering around the corner to a back alleyway that was where the noises had originated.

"You're just a stupid, attention-hogging freak!" Another boy spat at the victim's feet. "I've seen the way you twitch whenever you think no one's looking, and I've seen the scars on your back when you changed during gym – and you still have the nerve to flirt and tease with the girls!"

Kurogane was in the middle of wondering whether to intervene or go for help when the boy's words fully penetrated.

"Freak! Freak!" The chant was taken up by all the bullies, four in total, as they circled around the loner, kicking him.

Kurogane burst into the alleyway, rational thoughts left behind. He knew he couldn't possibly beat all four of them if they came at him at once – he probably couldn't even stop them from bothering Fai as they beat him up, but none of it mattered. "HEY! Leave him alone!"

The leader of the four, Fuuma, started for him. "What are you going to do about it, little boy?"

Kurogane raised his fists, although he had never been in a fight in his life. The roughest thing he had ever done was tackle someone accidently in soccer (which was a sport he was very good at, thanks to his dad). "I'll fight you off!"

"Ooooh, scary," the kids all laughed except for one. The one that had been silent, Seishiro, ran up to the leader and whispered urgently in his ear something that Kurogane couldn't hear.

"… father … owner … studio …" Whatever it was, it allowed Kurogane to get to Fai with only bruised shoulders as Fuuma sniffed and shoved past him, the rest of his gang following.

"Whatever, losers!" He laughed, the harsh sound echoing in the tight alleyway as they left.

Kurogane hurried to Fai. He angrily cursed the boys that had picked on someone that had already been through so much, just because he was different now, and they were jealous that he still had more social skills.

Fai was a bit dirty and would probably have a few nasty bruises that would last him a while, but he seemed okay. Kurogane asked anyway, and received confirmation that nothing was broken or that badly hurt.

"Why didn't you fight back?" Kurogane demanded, a bit frustrated that his friend had accepted his beating so easily.

Fai just shrugged, tired and worn.

"Is it because you don't know how?" Kurogane pressed. "I don't know how either, but I think that I'll learn now. My father's the owner of a really big martial arts studio, you know."

"Yeah, I heard them," Fai mumbled at last. "Lucky they had heard of him."

Kurogane was about to say more when Fai passed out. Kurogane swooped down just in time to save his head from crashing into the cement.

"You're lucky I caught you, you idiot," Kurogane muttered fondly as he carried Fai back home.

Still, he can't shake the image of the twisted smile on the blond's face as he receives blow after blow.

* * *

"Dad," Kurogane lingered by his father's chair after dinner. "Teach me how to fight."

His father only raised an eyebrow. "Why would you want to learn something like that?"

"I need to become stronger," Kurogane explained patiently.

"What will you use the strength for?" Mr. Suwa was not one to give something easily.

"I need to become stronger," Kurogane repeated, glancing at Fai, who lay on the loveseat, sleeping after his injuries had been treated by Kurogane's mother. "So that I can protect the ones that are important to me."

His father grinned. "Good answer."

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months old)**

_There are so many things,_ Kurogane runs the hand that is not occupied through his hair in frustration. _There are so many things that I never understood about him and so many secrets that he never told me._

Although Fai had never been bothered by bullies again, not to Kurogane's knowledge, anyway, it was hard to shake the feeling that some part of Fai had enjoyed the beating and the insults. Kurogane suspects, now, that Fai might even have started home without Kurogane on purpose, so that he might bump into the gang run by Fuuma, even though he must have known what would happen to him if he did.

Kurogane is convinced that in his memories lies the reason why Fai once again had to be picked up and carried like a child who had sought something dangerous and fallen.

* * *

**A/N **- To clarify, before anyone jumps on me about how Fuuma is really such a good guy, the Fuuma here is the one from the Dragons of Earth (in X/1999), who I find quite intriguing, although unfortunately he barely appears in this fic ^^;


	10. Fighting Lesson

**Fighting Lesson (8 Years and 10 Months Old; Part III)**

_May 20, 09: 8 Years and 5 Months Old_

"If you were faced with a bully that was older, bigger, heavier, and probably stronger than you, what would you do?" Kurogane's father barked, all business now that they were at the martial arts studio. Kurogane had succeeded in talking Fai into taking lessons from his dad with him and now the two stood at attention before Mr. Suwa.

"Use my wits and fight him!" Kurogane responded.

"Run away," Fai said at the same time. Kurogane looked at his friend in surprise while Fai simply kept his gaze fixed ahead of him, humming gently.

Kurogane's dad laughed. "It seems we have two very different boys here that will need to learn two very different fighting styles. I'll teach Kurogane, but Fai would benefit more from Kendappa's lessons, I think."

Kurogane frowned. "Why don't you teach us both the same thing?"

"Because it has to be something you're _comfortable_ doing," Mr. Suwa smiled at his son. "If you prefer to fight, then it'll be best if you learn how to fight properly rather than learning how to run away. If Fai prefers to run away, then he'll be better off learning how to dodge and evade while escaping than learning how to stay and fight."

Kurogane stayed silent. He thought his father was wrong, but had enough respect and was wary enough of long lectures not to push it.

"For now, anyway, your lessons will be the same. I have to teach you both how to _feel_ things around you – how to sense the aura of living of things, how to hear the whistle of something flying towards you, how to anticipate a move your opponent is going to make. Close your eyes and stand still." Both boys obeyed.

The next thing he knew, Kurogane was whapped sharply five times in various places and he stifled a cry of pain. He opened his eyes, ready to complain, and saw his father's proud gaze.

Only, Mr. Suwa wasn't looking at Kurogane. He was focused on Fai instead, who had somehow ended up several meters away, and unlike Kurogane, wasn't muttering about how surely he had been hit a bit harder than necessary.

"Good job!" Kurogane's father cried out. "That was wonderful, Fai-kun, you evaded each blow so well! Have you had any training before?" Fai mutely shook his head while Kurogane sulked on the side. "Natural born talent, then. Let's try that again, shall we? We'll go one at a time this time."

Kurogane was forced to watch as Fai stepped backwards when his father stepped forwards, arching out of the way gracefully, eyes still closed, when his father struck quickly, and finally slide out of the way of a final side strike.

When it was Kurogane's turn again, he felt humiliated as he was hit again, and again, and again, no matter how he tried to predict where the next blow was coming from, he never succeeded. Opening his eyes at last in frustration, it only fed his determination when he saw that Fai was calmly sitting at the side of the room, not even bothering to look at Kurogane as he failed time after time (although perhaps that was a good thing).

"I can't do it," Kurogane complained. "I don't know how! You haven't explained anything to me yet!"

"Don't say, 'I can't'. You're only binding yourself with your words. Say, 'I can', or 'I will'." Mr. Suwa scolded gently. "Now close your eyes again – no, I'm not going to hit you again – and breathe in, breathe out, and try to find that peaceful part of your mind – yes, I know it sounds cheesy, but it works – found it yet? Good. Just stay there, and breathe in … breathe out … in … out … and, ready!"

Kurogane, in his "peaceful place" (that looked a lot like the park), managed to feel his father's movements and evade his first blow. Unfortunately, the excitement that followed shattered his calm and he was hit several more times before Mr. Suwa let up.

"Improvement!" His dad declared. "Let's try again!"

As much as he searched though, Kurogane couldn't find the park in his mind again, and the rest of the lesson passed in promises of bruises to come, and watching Fai manage to dodge almost all of his dad's blows, even when the speed was increased as well as the intensity.

Walking home with Fai after was trying, to say the least. Although Kurogane was hardly a jealous person, he couldn't help but feel put-out at how easily Fai had won his father's approval.

"How do you do it?" Kurogane wanted to know.

Fai shrugged. "Natural talent, like your dad said, I guess. It's just easy for me, predicting where someone's coming from and knowing how to avoid them."

Kurogane was minutely upset that there wasn't some big secret that Fai knew and resolved to work harder to make up for his lack of natural talent.

_I'll be a great fighter one day,_ he vowed. _I'll be strong enough to protect everyone I care about!_

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months old)**

_My dad was wrong,_ Kurogane smiles a bit at finally managing to prove his father wrong, although he is no longer around for Kurogane to tell him_. It really wasn't the best for Fai to do what he was comfortable doing. Look at where he ended up, the hospital of all places._

_Although it's better than the morgue …_

_Fai did always have such a talent for always dodging, slippery as a fish, evading anything that could hurt him except for what he __**wanted**__ to hurt. _

Despite the unhappy thoughts that cling to him, Kurogane can't help but chuckle a little as he thinks of how hard he worked after that day – always making sure he could do more pushups than Fai, always making sure he could strike harder (not that it mattered much, since they soon went their separate ways when it came to learning how to fight; Fai adopted a fighting style that was so graceful, it was almost more like dancing, while Kurogane was blunt, precise, and efficient), although Fai always managed to run faster and further than Kurogane.

_Always running away,_ Kurogane has a suddenly sour taste in his mouth. _He was always, always running … I was just too __**stupid**__, too much in denial to see it._

The next expression that takes over Kurogane's face is bittersweet. The next memories that might be important to Fai's story were not happy ones, but they must be remembered anyway, both for Fai and for the ones lost in them.

* * *

**A/N** - Mr. Suwa is kind of a Yuuko figure in this fic XD He's fond of teaching important life lessons.

Completely unrelated topic: If you're into piano music, go search up David Lanz. He's an amazing composer and pianist (and he's still alive!) and I've been listening to him almost non-stop for the past week =D Some songs that I find amazing by him are "Cristofori's Dream", "Lost in Paradise", and "Return to the Heart".


	11. Disease

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Disease (9 Years and 6 Months Old)

_January 29, 10: 9 Years and 1 Month Old_

"It's just a cough, I'm perfectly fine," his mother insisted yet again when Kurogane remained hovering by her bed after delivering lunch. "Go outside and play, or else you might catch it too."

Kurogane fiercely shook his head. "I'm young and I'm strong, I'll be fine. It's you I'm worried about, so I'm not leaving until you eat."

His mother had had this persistent cough for well over three weeks now, and the entire family, including Tomoyo, as young as she still was, was worried that it was something more. His mother fatigued easily now, and had chills and fever every other night. Her appetite had nearly disappeared, until it became a battle just to get her to eat a measly bowl of soup, and the weight loss was frightening. Despite how weak she was, she refused to be taken to a hospital or even for their doctor to come visit.

"It's nothing, I'm certain," she would say whenever someone brought it up. "I wouldn't want anyone to go to any trouble only to find out that I'm okay."

But as young as Kurogane was, he was long past the age when he believed everything (well, almost everything) that his parents told him, and he knew that his mother was most certainly _not_ okay despite what she said.

"Eat," he ordered again when he saw that his mother was doing little more than just cradling the bowl in her lap.

His mom only smiled faintly and said, "Don't worry about me. I'll be okay."

Kurogane glared angrily at her. "You won't be okay if you don't eat and keep your strength up!"

He clenched his fists as another coughing fit took hold of her and then snatched up a cup of water to give to her once it was over.

Only this time, it didn't seem to want to end.

Kurogane watched in growing horror as his mother coughed and coughed, each hack shaking her frail, thin body. She used to healthy, radiant even, but this sickness had whittled her away until she seemed like little more than skin draped over brittle bones.

"Mom! Are you okay?" Kurogane demanded, hand poised over the phone now, ready to call the hospital if need be.

Somehow, she still managed to rasp out, "I'm fine … I'll be okay."

Kurogane reassured himself by griping the cup even tighter, thinking that he would give it to her once it was over. He started pondering the idea of spoon feeding his own mother, if only to get some food into her.

Then he saw the blood and his plans fell away.

The blood was splattered across Mrs. Suwa's hand, and a few drops fell lazily onto the white sheets. The red against white seemed to dominate Kurogane's vision, blurring his sight and sucking him in – and Kurogane panicked.

He nearly yanked the cord out of the socket as he pressed the phone to his ear, blindly fumbling as he made mistake after mistake, hearing his own sobs catching, blending with the rings to make a rhythm that was nowhere near loud enough to cover the sound of coughs, his tears not sufficient enough to block out the red against white, the pain of his nails digging into his hands barely registering as –

"HELP!" He cried desperately as a cool female voice sounded on the other end. "My mother, she … she's coughing up blood, and i-it's everywhere, and I don't know what to do!"

He rattled off his name and address quickly as asked and was told to stay put. Hanging up, Kurogane was struck by how quiet it was, and a flood of relief filled him as he noticed that the dreadful coughing had ended.

"Mom, are you feeling better? You should have some water," Kurogane picked up the cup again on the way to the bed. "Mom? Mom?"

Kurogane couldn't help but to keep on talking as his eyes filled with tears again and he dropped the cup onto the floor, water splashing everywhere. "Mom, I thought you said you were going to be okay. I thought you said you were fine, and that I shouldn't worry. What was the point of those words? Why would you waste your words on something like that?"

Kurogane dropped to his knees at his mother's bed. "What is the point of words, if they're wasted? If they're untrue? How could you lie like that? What is the point of words, if I can't even tell you how I feel right now? There are no words … there is _nothing_ that could describe this …"

He turned his head at a knock on the door. Numbly, he got up and opened it, poking his head outside to see Tomoyo peering up at him, a doll clutched in her hands. She looked so young and painfully innocent that Kurogane's breath was taken away for a moment.

"Is Mommy feeling okay?" Tomoyo asked quietly, trying to look around Kurogane.

"She's-" Kurogane was about to say _alright_, but the word caught in his throat. He didn't want to lie to Tomoyo. "A doctor's coming," he said at last, settling for a half truth. "You should go back to your room."

For once, Tomoyo didn't argue with him. She turned around and left, perhaps sensing that something dreadful was waiting for her in her mother's room – something she definitely didn't want to see.

Kurogane closed the door. Laying his head down on the white sheets stained with red, in a room that was all too silent, Kurogane cried, for the loss of his mother, and for the wasted words that still lingered in the air.

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months old)**

_What is the point of words, if nothing I can say describes how I feel right now? _Kurogane asks this again as he gazes at Fai. _Words cannot reach you now, trapped where you are. Words are so rarely ever enough, yet we fumble with them just the same._

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* * *

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A/N -

A little bit OOC, maybe? T-T (Maybe Kuro is upset because his mom is sick and that's why he's not really IC =D) I feel like this scene was needed though.

Reviews are love ^^


	12. Words

**Words (9 Years and 7 Months Old)**

_February 12, 10: 9 Years and 2 Months Old_

A restless wind stirred the tree branches as Kurogane and Fai walked silently past them. The sky overhead was dark and overcast; the clouds somber and gloomy: they matched Kurogane's mood perfectly.

"Talk to me," Fai pleaded at last, breaking the deafening silence, as they lingered in the park yet again on the way home after school. "Come on Kurogane, say something."

Kurogane just shook his head mutely. He was determined not to speak needlessly anymore, determined not to let any more words exit his lips and fall, worthless, into the air.

_Most importantly, I won't __**ever**__ lie. I won't ever make a promise that I wouldn't give my life trying to keep._

"Kuro-pooon," Fai wheedled, hoping to get a rise out of Kurogane by using one of the nicknames that Kurogane detested. "Kuro-pon, Kuro-tin, Kuro-mu!"

But Kurogane simply growled and glared at Fai threateningly.

The blond made a half hearted attempt to skip away before he realized that Kurogane wasn't giving chase like usual. Instead, he just walked along in the damp park, wet grass brushing against his pant legs and changing their color, with his head down and fixed on the ground.

"Oh for goodness sake Kuro-pon, won't you just perk up a little bit? Smile!" Fai returned to prod Kurogane on the cheek. "It's not hard, see? And they say smiling makes you feel better!"

Kurogane looked at Fai with minor disgust. Fai had a smile on his face that was just as convincing as his usual carefree expression; everyone except for Kurogane would have fallen for it easily. It infuriated him to see how Fai could take pain and suffering lightly enough to just paint it over with a smile and pretend it wasn't there.

"Kurogane," Fai paused and actually looked serious for once. "Talk to me, please. I know it hurts to lose your mom. I don't want you to go through this alone."

The dark haired boy looked at the other boy suspiciously, unpleasant thoughts coming to surface in his mind.

"Please," Fai whispered, eyes glinting. "I don't want you to be alone. Talk to me."

"Is it me that you don't want to be alone," Kurogane asked harshly, voice rough after about two weeks of very limited activity. "Or yourself?"

Fai dropped his eyes. His hesitation was all Kurogane needed to turn around and stride quickly towards his house, distancing himself from the stupid blond and all his stupid problems and his stupid fears and his stupid inability to cope with things …

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

_The entire world is just stupid_, Kurogane thought vehemently. _The world is a cruel and unloving, place._

_We're all alone here, trapped by words that have no meaning at all._

* * *

A few blocks away from his house, Kurogane changed tracks and veered towards the studio instead. In the half month that had followed his mother's death, his father had spent more time there than ever – as had Kurogane.

"Kurogane-kun!" Kendappa, his father's second-in-command, said in surprise when she saw him. "Shouldn't you be at home?"

Kurogane swept past her, not bothering to answer.

"Do you need me to call your dad?" She asked.

She received no reply as Kurogane stomped towards the change room. He changed into his gym clothes, which were conveniently in his backpack, and sat down on a bench for a moment, trying to calm his anger. Unsuccessful, he got up, paced around the change room, and punched a locker. He regretted this fiercely when his fist started stinging and decided it was a much better idea to spend his anger doing exercises instead. He went back outside and threw himself into repetitions until his father came over to see him, no doubt informed of Kurogane's presence by Kendappa.

"Kurogane, what are you doing here? Why aren't you at home, or at the park with Fai-kun?" Wiping his face with a towel, Mr. Suwa squatted down to talk to his son as he pounded the life out of a punching bag. "Did something happen?"

Kurogane just shook his head mutely and switched to kicking, feeling a brutal satisfaction in the thump of the bag when his foot connected with it solidly.

"Come on, Kurogane." His father placed a hand on the boy's shoulder and gently forced Kurogane to stop and turn to him. "I've barely heard your voice in two weeks. I've already lost my wife; I don't want to lose you too."

At the mention of his mom, Kurogane's eyes blurred again. He angrily wiped at his eyes before he managed to croak out anything comprehensible. "I want to be become stronger. I want to become stronger, so I can protect everyone that I love! Maybe it's selfish, but I don't anyone else to be taken away from me … not you, not Tomoyo, not …" His voice trailed off.

"Not Fai-kun?" His dad guessed. Kurogane just clenched his fists. "Listen … being strong isn't the answer to everything. No matter how strong you are … there are some things that can't be stopped, there are some things that will make you suffer no matter what."

Kurogane looked up to see his dad's eyes glimmering. "Don't cry, Dad."

His father reached down and pulled Kurogane into a hug. "Be strong, Kurogane. Discover the meaning of true strength, and although not everything will be solved, the people around you will be happier and safer, as will you."

"I will, Dad. I will."

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months)**

Kurogane sighs and shifts in his chair.

_True strength … I don't know if I've ever found it. It seems like all I've learned is that one of the most painful things is to stand by and watch, helpless, as someone I care about is hurt, because although I've tried, I couldn't help him. _

_Even knowing that he still suffered … I couldn't help him. _

Kurogane wonders if maybe true strength is still lingering outside of his grasp.

* * *

**A/N** - Ugh, I'm a day late. Sorry, everyone (including those reviews that I still haven't replied to and those messages I still need to read *shifty eyes*) Life has been sort of hectic lately and NaNoWriMo isn't helping at all. I can't remember the last time I slept for a good 9 or 10 hours, instead of 5 or 6 hours. Anyway, ignore my grouchy ranting and I hope you all enjoy this =D


	13. Quiet

**Quiet (9 Years and 10 Months Old)**

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May 12, 10: 9 Years and 5 Months Old

"Pssst."

"Pssssssssssssst."

"Kuro-mu!"

"Kuuuuuro-muuu, I know you can hear me!"

"Kuro-"

"What!" Kurogane finally caved and turned around to face Fai.

"Hi!" Fai beamed at him and waved enthusiastically, despite the fact that they were in the middle of a math lesson and Kurogane was less than a meter away from him.

Kurogane's eye twitched. "You've been poking me and whispering for the past five minutes just to say hi to me?"

"Of course! I just wanted to show Kuro-mu how much I love him!" Fai grinned at him despite the glare that was dominating Kurogane's face.

"You are an idiot," Kurogane said slowly.

"Waaah! Kuro-mu's so mean to me!" Fai's lips trembled, though the effect was ruined when a giggle escaped.

"Suwa-san! Fluorite-san! Pay attention!" Their teacher barked out. "What's x in this equation?"

Fai barely glanced at the board before replying smoothly with the correct answer.

With an annoyed grunt, the teacher turned back to the rest of the class.

Ashamed at having been singled out, Kurogane faced the front of the class again and ignored the finger that started prodding him the second its owner couldn't see Kurogane's face anymore. He gritted his teeth as the poking became more insistent, drumming out random rhythms on his back and generally being a nuisance. Before long, his chair was also being kicked and his hair, although short, was being pulled – and it _hurt_.

Kurogane looked over his shoulder for long enough to hiss a brief warning. "If you don't stop now, I'll punch you at recess!"

"You'd have to catch me first!" Fai whispered back, eyes twinkling. "And everyone knows that you'll never be able to do that!"

"Tch. We'll just see about that!" Kurogane couldn't resist the challenge to his pride, although he did realize that he would probably not even come close to catching the other boy. Fai was excelling at all of his lessons in the martial arts studio, as was Kurogane, and was now exceptionally good at running away.

"How is your training coming along?" Fai asked as if he had read Kurogane's mind.

"Fine." Kurogane grunted.

"You've become so quiet lately," Fai smiled sadly. "You've shut everyone out."

"Don't be a hypocrite." Kurogane's eyes burned into Fai's. The other merely laughed.

"Do you ever talk to anyone besides me anymore?" Fai persisted.

"I talk to Souma-chan!" Kurogane replied indignantly. "And I talk to Doumeki-kun, Watanuki-kun, and Himawari-chan too! Besides, you never talk to anyone either."

"Au contraire, Kuro-mu!" Fai chirped cheerfully. "I talk to everyone because I'm not grumpy all the time!"

Kurogane just shot him another look. "You don't ever properly talk to anyone – all you do is ramble on about some nonsense or another. When is the last time _you _told anyone what you were truly feeling?"

Fai's smile wavered. "Who would care enough to listen? You have your own problems, Kuro-mu."

"Idiot," Kurogane mumbled. "I do care. You can tell me anything."

"As if." Kurogane barely caught the whisper that slipped past Fai's lips.

Then Fai changed the topic and refused to say anything more on the subject, even when Kurogane pressed.

Withdrawing, Kurogane grumbled to himself about how Fai was such an enigma. He had a way of thinking that seemed completely illogical to Kurogane: he was afraid, terrified, of being alone, and yet he chose to alienate himself.

* * *

When Fai called him to arrange another meeting at the park, Kurogane agreed with the slight hope that Fai might actually confess his worries to him for once, instead of leaving cryptic messages that Kurogane could never decipher and unanswerable questions that raised one of the most important of all: what was it that made Fai ask them?

"Hello, Kurogane," Fai greeted him without moving from his spot on the grass, with his chin on his knees and his arms wrapped around himself. Kurogane dropped down beside him, worried about the state Fai was in if he had been addressed with his real name.

"What's wrong?" Kurogane asked, wondering what had happened this time.

"You said you would listen, right Kurogane? You said you cared enough to listen." Fai seemed desperate for reassurance, for the knowledge that there was someone that cared.

"I will," Kurogane replied honestly. "I'll listen to whatever you have to say, even if I don't like it. I'll listen if it makes you feel better, and I'll be here for you to talk to if you ever need anyone. I don't want you to be alone, Fai."

Fai's hair was struck by moonlight, causing to almost glow. Kurogane was struck with the feeling, the realization, that Fai was different. Fai wasn't like Kurogane, or Souma, or any other of their classmates. He was so … unreachable.

"Aren't we all alone?" Fai whispered, voice breaking the silence. "We all keep our own secrets in our heart – even those we love hide things from us. Even those we trust keep secrets from us. Are we not all isolated from each other?"

"But doesn't to trust someone mean to have faith in them, even if they're not telling us everything?" Kurogane countered. "I trust you, Fai, but we both know you keep more stuff from me than you tell me."

Fai smiled sadly. "I'm touched, Kuro-mu. Tonight, I'm going to tell you something that I'd rather you not tell anyone else, okay?"

Kurogane nodded solemnly.

"Ashura-san has a daughter named Chii." Fai's eyes hardened at the name. "Apparently she dislikes honorifics or something."

"What's wrong with that?" Kurogane questioned curiously. "I mean, I know I say Tomoyo is annoying all the time, but having a sibling, even if she's not related to you, is pretty nice. You won't be so lonely."

Fai stiffened and froze. A frigid silence resided between the two boys until Fai got up and stalked away. Bewildered, Kurogane got up and pursued him.

"What is it?" He asked as he followed one step behind Fai. "What did I say?"

Fai suddenly stopped walking and Kurogane watched as his fists clenched, then unclenched, over and over again.

Finally, Kurogane tentatively reached out and touched Fai on the shoulder. He wanted to comfort him, but didn't know what to say or do. "Fai?"

Fai turned around. A smile resided once again on his face, although his eyes directly contrasted it. "It's nothing, Kurogane. Forget it."

Kurogane frowned. "Why should I forget it? It's obvious something is causing you pain, and you won't tell anyone about it. It can't be healthy to keep it all to yourself."

"Because it's a secret, Kurogane." Fai refused to drop the smile that seemed so natural. "Secrets aren't meant to be told."

"Secrets carried by one person alone will only destroy that person," Kurogane argued. "It's only human to share with others, to connect with them. Even the strongest person will shatter if they're alone for too long."

Fai shook his head. "I guess we disagree on many things, Kuro-mu. But anyway, can we get back to what I was going to tell you?"

Kurogane was reluctant to change the topic, but he could see that Fai wasn't going to relent and he was curious about whatever Fai wanted to tell him. "What is it, then?"

Fai took a deep breath and then blew it out noisily, causing his bangs to briefly flutter in the dead nighttime air. "Like I said before, Ashura-san has a daughter. She moved in yesterday."

"Where was she the past year?" Kurogane asked. "Was she with her mom or something? I didn't know Ashura-san was married ..."

Fai laughed harshly. "He's not. She was at boarding school, in her home country, but she decided to come live here because apparently Ashura-san told her about me and made her curious."

"Okay …" Kurogane said slowly. "But that still doesn't explain why you're upset."

_And if you're upset, how can you still smile like that?_

"I'm getting to that part. The thing is, Chii is also my half-sister." Fai let out a small chuckle at Kurogane's sharp intake of breath. "Yeah, I finally found out how Ashura-san is related to me."

"So … Ashura-san …?" Kurogane trailed off.

"My mother gave birth to Chii two years before she got married to my dad and had … me," Kurogane barely registered the slight pause before the last word. "But …" Fai fixed his eyes on the sky, gazing despairingly at the tiny specks of light that he could never reach. "I never knew. I doubt my dad knew either … it was a secret that my mother kept from all of us. She never even went back to see Chii after she left Ashura-san …"

Kurogane bit his tongue. He didn't want to say anything, but he was thinking it all the same. Fai's mother seemed nothing like his own … not kind, not loving.

Kurogane was swept into another memory of red against white. He clenched his fists and dragged himself back into the present, scolding himself for zoning out.

"… can't believe she would keep something like that a secret," Fai was saying. "Is it too much to ask, that I'm able to trust my own mother?"

Kurogane shook his head. "Just because she had another child, doesn't mean that she was a bad person. I'm sure she loved you very much, Fai."

"No," Fai looked at him oddly, a frightening look in his eyes. "She loved too much, and that caused her downfall. That's why I must become stronger, so that one day I may feel nothing at all."

"But then what will you have to live for?" Kurogane demanded.

A smile twisted Fai's face. "All dreams must end, Kurogane."

A tense silence thrummed in the air before Kurogane punched the ground. "I can't accept that." He growled.

Fai flinched. "What is there to accept, Kuro-mu?"

"My name," Kurogane's voice was barely a rumble. "Is Kurogane. And I can't accept the fact that someone is so willing to give up on life – it is that kind of people that I hate the most in this world. The people who are willing to throw their lives away as if they're just trash, without a second thought to those they're leaving behind. People with such a low disregard for life, when there are others that struggle just to see another day."

Another harsh, bitter laugh cut through the air. "Who would care if I died, Kurogane?"

"As you go through life, you make bonds. Whether it is just someone you help on the streets one day … or someone that you see every day of your life, you create a bond with that person that can never be broken, because the past cannot be rewritten." Kurogane leaned forward. "And it is because of these bonds, that I'm sure many people would cry if you were to die."

"When people are at a funeral, and they're crying, are they crying for the person that died or themselves?" Fai countered. "It seems to me more like they're crying for their own selfish reasons, because they've been left behind and the person didn't care enough to stay …"

"But what if the person died by accident, or by … disease?" Kurogane could feel tears threatening his eyes, but he ignored them, too driven by anger to care. "Would you still say they didn't care enough to stay, if they had no choice?"

"It sounds to me, Kurogane," Fai spat out. "Like you're feeling very sorry for yourself that your dear mommy didn't love you enough to see a doctor and try to live."

"It's not like that!" Kurogane shouted. "She just didn't want us to worry!"

"You just keep telling yourself that," Fai smirked, the anger painting his face in dark colors.

Kurogane threw himself at Fai and punched him in the face. Fai fell backwards with a howl of pain, clutching his face, as Kurogane stood over him, fists clenched.

"Huh," Fai said as he pushed himself up, a pained smile still stuck on his face. "I guess I still have a way to go before I can stop feeling, hmm?"

With a roar, Kurogane leapt at him again. Fai yelped and ran away, dodging all of Kurogane's swipes and quickly outdistancing him.

Midnight found Fai crouched in a tree as Kurogane glared up at him, panting hard. "Now, Kuro-mu, was that really necessary?"

"Apologize for what you said about my mother." Kurogane demanded, his voice flat. "Say you're sorry!"

"I'm sorry." Though Kurogane couldn't see Fai's face, he thought the other boy really was sincere. "But Kuro-mu, don't you have something to apologize for too?"

"I only spoke the truth," Kurogane snapped back, still angry.

"The truth as it appears to you, maybe," Fai seemed to feel it was safe to descend to the lowest branch to talk to Kurogane. "But your truth isn't the same as my truth."

Kurogane snorted. "How can there be more than one truth?"

"Because what something _is _is not always a question of hard facts, but rather of perspectives," Fai shifted a bit on his branch as it creaked ominously. "And I think I can say, and you'll agree, we see things very differently, Kuro-mu."

Although still annoyed, Kurogane could feel his anger beginning to fade. "I just don't want you to talk about stuff like that, okay?"

Fai looked back up at the stars, straining to see through the tangle of branches and leaves. When he spoke, his voice echoed with betrayal and hurt. "As you wish, Kurogane."

Although Kurogane felt guilty, he also felt relieved that there would be no more of these nighttime talks and didn't regret what he said. "Good."

Fai, however, was apparently not willing to leave it at that. "I should have known you were just like everyone else, Kurogane. There is no one I can trust … those I do will only betray me in the end." He dropped from the tree and dashed away into the small forest on the side of the park furthest away from the road.

"Wait! Fai!" Groaning with frustration, Kurogane gave chase, only to quickly lose sight of Fai within the trees. "Fai! Where are you?"

After crashing through the brushes fruitlessly for nearly a quarter of an hour, Kurogane paused to rethink his strategy (and maybe to rest just a little bit). He doubted Fai had left the park, since he rarely seemed to want to go home, so either Fai was very well hidden or he was doing a very good job of keeping away from Kurogane.

Kurogane closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths, slowing his breathing and calming himself down, then opened them and started creeping along the forest floor. He reasoned that if Fai couldn't hear him coming, he wouldn't be able to run away.

After another fifteen minutes without finding Fai, Kurogane was beginning to despair. The forest would take a while to fully comb through, assuming Fai stayed in one spot, which he probably didn't. He grimly concluded a temporary surrender and started trudging home, beating himself up mentally for being such a bad friend.

He pondered whether or not to get a sleeping bag and stake out the entrance to the park, so that whenever Fai tried to get home he would wake him, but soon realized that Fai could easily slip past him.

Kurogane was distracted by a squeak and directed his attention to the swings, where he found Fai swinging idly back and forth.

Kurogane stomped his way over to the sand pit. "Where have you been all this time?"

"Why should you care?" Fai's eyes pierced him like chips of ice.

"I do care," Kurogane insisted. "But there are some things …"

"So what? You're to be like everyone else?" Fai sneered. "You're going to pretend listen to me when it pleases you, then stomp all over me when you feel like it? You're going to gain my trust then lead me along and use me?"

Kurogane growled in frustration and paced around the playground. "Why me? Why am I the one that you singled out?"

"I place faith in your promises, Kurogane," Fai answered angrily. "I thought maybe you were different and maybe … just maybe …" His voice trailed off mid-sentence again.

"Maybe what?" Kurogane yelled, just as mad. "If you want me to listen, don't just tell me a little bit here and a little bit there. If I'm going to listen to you, the good, the bad, and the ugly, then I want to listen to _everything_. I don't want there to be any secrets between us!"

"There are some things," Fai whispered. "That are not meant to be shared."

Kurogane just shook his head in disgust. "All or nothing."

"Well what about you, Kurogane?" Fai stared at him intensely again, still swinging back and forth, back and forth. "What about all those secrets you've kept from me?"

"What secrets?" Kurogane snapped.

"I seem to remember hearing something about an older brother," Fai responded. "Youou, I believe his name was?"

Kurogane froze. "_**How do you know about him?**_"

"Doesn't matter," Fai shot back. "All that matters is that we all have our secrets. No one can possibly know everything about someone else."

"How am I supposed to trust you now?" Kurogane demanded. "Besides, even if I did want to help you, and I did care, doesn't mean I want to listen to all of your depressed thoughts!"

"Kurogane," Fai said, serious and calm all of a sudden. "I assure you that I'm not suicidal, despite what you might think. Not yet, anyway. I won't die."

With a final disgruntled 'tch', Kurogane offered his hand out to Fai. The blond stopped swinging for long enough to nuzzle against Kurogane's arm instead of taking it as intended, ticking him off again (although he didn't show it), before pumping his legs hard.

"Catch me, Kuro-mu!" Fai cried as he leapt off the swing, golden hair turned silver in the moonlight.

"Idiot!" Kurogane shouted as he scrambled forwards. "Why'd you do that?"

Fai crashed into Kurogane and landed without dignity on top of him. "Hyuu! That was fun!"

"Fun for you, maybe," Kurogane grumbled. He would have plenty of new bruises in the morning, he was sure of it.

"Sorry, Kuro-mu! Should I kiss it all better?" Still sitting on Kurogane, Fai lay down so that he was lying comfortably on his stomach on the other's back. When Kurogane frantically declined his offer, Fai just laughed lightly. "You sure are comfortable, Kuro-mu."

Kurogane blushed fiercely, glad that the other couldn't see his face. "You're an idiot. Just be glad I was here to catch you!"

Fai just started purring like a demented cat.

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months old)**

Looking back, Kurogane thinks of that night as a turning point – it had been the first sign of a rift between the two best friends, the first warning of the tragedies and betrayals to come.

_If only I had known._

* * *

**A/N - **Er, Youou doesn't come back until much much later, so you can just forget about him now ^^' This marks the halfway point of the series, as well as the end of the first arc (although it's not really noticeable/recognizable as an arc ^^') It was difficult to write this mini-arc, with the death of Kurogane's mother, and I'm really not sure how well I did at keeping them relatively in character and still having everything that I wanted to happen happen =/

Also, NaNoWriMo is killing me. So close to the end, yet I'm also dangerously close to failing x.x


	14. Kendappa

**Kendappa (10 Years and 3 Months Old)**

_October 28, 10: 9 Years and 10 Months Old_

"She's around too often now," Kurogane complained to Tomoyo as they walked home together after school. Fai had promptly disappeared as soon as the bell rang, so Kurogane had gone looking for Tomoyo instead.

"Oh, come on." Tomoyo gently hit her brother on the arm. "Don't be mean."

"She is!" Kurogane insisted. "She's suffocating me!"

Tomoyo 'tsk'ed. "It's only because she cares, Kurogane."

"I don't like it," Kurogane said stubbornly. "It's stupid, the way she's trying to replace our mom! We don't need another mom!"

Tomoyo's next words were lost on him as he fled, dashing around corners and dodging adults in suits until he found himself wandering up the impressive driveway to the Ruval Estate, where Fai lived. Despite his chaotic thoughts, Kurogane couldn't help but be impressed by the grandeur of the place. And people thought _he_ had a big house.

Perhaps it was the shock of seeing a white peacock strutting around in the gardens that had hit him, but by the time Kurogane had actually made it to the door, he was no longer so eager to barge in there and rant out his frustrations to Fai.

Part of it was that he had never been inside Fai's home before – he'd never even been this close, actually – part of it was how Fai clearly had enough problems of his own, and didn't need Kurogane's trivial issues to add to his burden, and another part of it was … well, things between him and Fai just weren't what they used to be.

After lingering around indecisively for another few minutes, Kurogane decided at last to just let it go. Turning away from Fai's (rather intimidating) front door, Kurogane started his long walk home.

About halfway back, the stormy sky burst at last and drenched Kurogane in its sorrows. "Tch," Kurogane mumbled. "As if I didn't have enough to worry about."

Taking care not to stumble into any puddles, Kurogane had a fierce, although rather one-sided argument, about whether or not Kendappa-san truly was well meaning. He supposed it was possible that she just cared for them a lot, but he thought it also possible that she pitied them, or felt she had a duty to fulfill.

Kurogane looked over his shoulder as the honking of a car horn drew him out of his gloomy thoughts.

"Kurogane-kun!" Kurogane cursed silently as the very person he was angry about waved at him from inside her car. "Come in, you'll catch cold walking around in the rain like that!"

"No thank you, Kendappa-san, I'm fine." Kurogane didn't even bother forcing a smile at the pretty black-haired woman sitting in the driver's seat, choosing instead to keep on walking so that she was forced to inch her car alongside with him.

"Don't be silly, Kurogane-kun, it's no bother!" Kendappa flapped her hand insistently at him. Heaving a sigh, Kurogane relented and climbed into the backseat, knowing that there would be a frown of disapproval from his father when they got home (because why must he always cause so much trouble for Kendappa-san?). He purposely let his muddy shoes tarnish the tan interior of the car, then immediately felt guilty about it and hoped she wouldn't notice.

Kendappa looked in her rearview mirror and smiled happily. "How has your day been, Kurogane-kun? I'm glad I met you out here; it seems like the two of us never get a chance to talk!"

Kurogane sulked darkly. He couldn't respond to her the same way he did with Fai, partly because his father wouldn't stand for it and partly because she was nothing like Fai at all. Kurogane suspected all of her smiles and hugs and the way she always seemed to linger were actually genuine, and although he hated to say it, he had to admit they were better than Fai's plastic masks and deceiving actions, in a way.

"Alright, I guess," he muttered at last. Kendappa beamed at him, thrilled to have finally gotten a response.

"What would you like for dinner tonight, Kurogane-kun?" Kendappa asked as she pulled the car smoothly into the driveway of their house. Kurogane couldn't help comparing his own almost-mansion to Fai's as they approached, noticing almost subconsciously how much smaller his house appeared after seeing Fai's.

"Anything's okay," he answered grumpily after Kendappa repeated her question.

"I think I'll make some sushi," she said thoughtfully as they got out of the car. "Would you like some sushi?"

"I don't want any of your sushi," Kurogane sneered. "My mom used to make the best sushi; nothing you make could taste anywhere near as good!"

Kurogane turned to dash into the house when Kendappa's voice stopped him. "I know."

"What?" He turned slowly to face her. "What did you say?"

"I know my sushi can't be as good as your mom's," Kendappa elaborated. "Nothing I do or say will ever be as good as if it's coming from your mom."

Then she went into the house, leaving Kurogane to trail behind her, feeling extremely guilty and foolish.

* * *

Kurogane yanked his door open when the insistent hammering on the other side got to be too much to bear. Tomoyo thumped him on the chest and he growled.

"Sorry," she said, not sounding sorry in the least. "It's time for dinner."

"I'm not hungry," Kurogane told her.

"She's trying really hard, Kurogane," Tomoyo sighed. When he gave her a funny look, she continued. "You're the reason she looked so upset when she walked in, right?"

"How would I know?" Kurogane muttered defensively.

Tomoyo clucked her tongue in disapproval and went downstairs. Kurogane heaved a sigh and followed her. He avoided everyone's gaze and sat down at his usual seat. When his father set a plate full of sushi in front of him, he nodded his thanks and picked up his chopsticks to take a bite.

"How is it, Kurogane-kun?" Kendappa asked anxiously.

Kurogane had just decided not to answer when Tomoyo kicked him on the shin. He choked and nearly spat out his sushi, glaring at her. She met his gaze equally; he lowered his first and scowled at his food.

"It's okay," he mumbled into his plate. He chanced a look up to see his father and Kendappa staring at him in disbelief while Tomoyo smirked.

"Coming from Kurogane, that's like saying it's the best food he's ever tasted," Mr. Suwa teased and the tension around the table was broken. Everyone except for Kurogane laughed and the usual dinner chatter took over.

Tomoyo gave him a silent nod of approval.

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months old)**

Kurogane smirks himself as he remembers that. Tomoyo had always had a strange hold over him; he would do anything for his little sister and she was often the only one that could talk him into doing something he didn't want to do.

His attitude to Kendappa had been a bit childish, Kurogane realizes, after all, she had never wanted anything but the best for them. She became the big sister Tomoyo never had and was willing to sit for hours with her listening to her jabber on about her designs.

Kurogane couldn't disapprove of her after that.

* * *

A/N - Did I just get shot by some Kuroparents fangirls? XD It's all in the name of character development ! =D

Sorry for the late update again this week. Next week might also be late-ish; I have a music history exam coming up and I don't know how much time I'll be spending on the computer D:


	15. Wedding

**Wedding (10 Years and 8 Months Old)**

_March 19, 11: 10 Years and 3 Months Old_

"They're rushing," Kurogane said to Tomoyo. "Don't you think they're rushing into this?"

"Relax," she answered patiently. Kurogane glared at his little sister. She was telling him to relax when she had spent the last few months in a flurry of hyperactivity, designing clothes for this day left and right?

"I'm just saying," Kurogane grumbled. "They haven't even been dating for a full year."

"But they've known each for years because of the studio," Tomoyo pointed out sensibly. "Besides, it's time for all us to move on."

"How can you say that?" Kurogane demanded, frustrated. "How can you forget about our mom? Our real mom?"

"I haven't forgotten," Tomoyo replied, looking at him with all the wisdom of an eight year old shining in her eyes. "But Mom wouldn't have wanted us to be sad forever; she would have wanted us to be happy and to live our lives."

Kurogane scoffed, though he knew that's exactly what his mother would have wanted. "I suppose so."

"There we go," Tomoyo gave her brother a brief hug. "Now let me dress you up, okay?" She grinned evilly at him and Kurogane could have sworn he actually saw her eyes twinkle mischievously. Apparently all the time she had already spent at Kendappa's hadn't put a dent in her slightly steamroller personality.

"My suit's … normal, right?" He asked, suddenly afraid of what his sister had assembled for him. As soon as the engagement had been announced, Tomoyo had promptly assured everyone that she had the outfits covered and the couple had agreed, amused. She had whipped out a measuring tape that same night and had had Kurogane try on a plain suit, muttering to herself before declaring she was finished with a smile and a promise to make his suit extra special. "I mean, there are no frills or anything right?"

Tomoyo giggled. "You worry too much."

Kurogane shuddered at a distant memory. "And definitely no lace. There better not be any lace!"

Tomoyo shoved him into his room. "Everyone else is all set and getting dressed, so now you have to too, and since I'm not needed elsewhere, I'm going to personally ensure that you don't look like a scruffy ruffian out there."

"Hey!" Kurogane protested. "I don't look scruffy! Or like a ruffian!"

His sister flounced over to his closet where his clothes waited for him. She pulled out an opaque bag and unzipped it with a flourish, revealing a suit that was quite plain by Tomoyo's standards.

"I thought less would be more when it came to you," Tomoyo explained as she held it up against him. "You probably couldn't pull off anything fancier."

"Thanks," Kurogane said genuinely.

"No problem." Tomoyo grinned again and pinched his cheek. "Okay, put everything on, then we can get you properly prettied up!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kurogane shouted at her retreating back but got no response other than a laugh as she left him to no doubt go torture some other poor soul.

Now alone, Kurogane stripped himself of his current shirt and somewhat gingerly picked up the black dress shirt now lying on his bed. Thankfully, it didn't spring up and attack him with sparkles or anything else deadly. He put it on, noticing the smoothness and the way the shirt fit him perfectly.

_My sister really is great at all this stuff,_ he admitted to himself, finishing up with the dress shirt. He picked up the red tie, most likely picked to match his eyes exactly and struggled with it for a few moments before giving up and just draping it around his neck. Tomoyo would tie it for him when she came back.

The jacket was next. As Kurogane shrugged it on, he noted that the weight was a bit more than he had expected, probably due to whatever fabric Tomoyo had used or maybe the presence of the shoulder pads. The narrow lapel was notched, as was to be expected on the single-breasted suit, and there was a single vent. He left the three buttons down the front unbuttoned.

Kurogane concluded that Tomoyo had done a fairly decent job as he tugged on his trousers, just as his sister burst through the door.

"Still not dressed?" She demanded, rushing forward. She swiftly tied his tie, buttoned up the front and smoothed out and straightened the jacket. "Everything is just chaos right now."

"How's Dad?" Kurogane asked, then flinched.

Tomoyo had picked up a brush and attacked his hair. Kurogane winced and pulled away. "Was that necessary?"

Tomoyo clucked her tongue. "Your hair never lies flat, so I guess we should get some gel and spike it up nicely."

"Gel?" Kurogane asked, horrified. "How will I get it out of my hair?"

"Don't worry." His sister flapped a hand at him. "It'll come out when you shower, but in the meantime, it'll keep that hair of yours from flopping everywhere."

"My hair does not flop," Kurogane muttered mutinously, although he allowed the goop to be applied to his raven locks.

"Makeup!" Tomoyo trilled, hopping towards the door.

"NO!" Kurogane yelled, grabbing her arm. "No makeup!"

"Just some foundation!" Tomoyo reassured him, to no avail. "No one will notice!"

"Absolutely not," Kurogane said firmly. "No makeup. At all. None."

"But Kurogane …!" Tomoyo pouted. When Kurogane shook his head again, she sighed. "You're no fun!"

"No, I'm just normal," Kurogane replied.

"But you're the ring bearer! You have to look your very best!"

"You did a good job," Kurogane told her, pleased when she flushed slightly from the praise.

"Wait 'til you see Fai-kun," she giggled, tugging on Kurogane's arm.

"Where are we going?" He trailed after her through the hallways of the house.

"Didn't you hear me? We're going to go see Fai-kun!"

"Wait … Fai's **here**?" Kurogane was surprised. "No one told me!"

Tomoyo shrugged. "I guess we all assumed someone else would tell you." She knocked on her door and they heard a rustle of movement before Fai opened the door. He was only wearing the trousers and his shirt was open, revealing the pale skin underneath.

Kurogane stared fixedly at a spot on the wall beside Fai's head.

"Tomoyo-chan, can you tie the tie for me later? I don't know how to tie them," Fai asked, frowning down at the irritatingly complex strip of fabric in his hands, not noticing Kurogane.

"Not a problem," Tomoyo assured him. "You just get everything else on and I'll help you with your hair and everything."

"Thanks so much, Tomoyo-chan," Fai beamed at her and saw Kurogane lurking in the hall. "Oh! Kuro-chan! Isn't this fun?"

"Not really," Kurogane muttered, touching his stiffened hair.

"Kuro-chan's looking really handsome, hyuu hyuu ~ " Fai fake whistled appreciatively.

Kurogane felt his cheeks warm up slightly. "Learn to whistle properly," he snapped, embarrassed.

"Kuro-chan's blushing now," Fai informed him gleefully, prodding his cheek.

Kurogane let out a roar and would've sprung forward if Tomoyo hadn't held him back.

"Not now!" She said firmly. "I still have to fix Fai-kun's hair and everything!"

Fai giggled. "Tomoyo-chan's so serious about all of this!"

"I want you all to look your best," she looked at Fai sternly. "Now go finish putting your clothes on before Kurogane gets any more red."

Fai retreated back into Tomoyo's room, laughing. "See you in a few, Kuro-chan!"

Kurogane was forced to endure his little sister's company for nearly ten minutes before Fai re-emerged. Tomoyo kept on shooting him sly looks and grinning to herself and refused to answer when he demanded to know what was so entertaining.

The sound of the door opening distracted them. Kurogane was left nearly speechless as he gaped at Fai. Tomoyo stepped forward and fixed his tie, then tugged a bit at the jacket before stepping back.

Fai nearly seemed to glow. He was dressed in a white suit, identical to Kurogane's own except for the color, and his tie brought out his eyes perfectly.

"What do you think?" He asked, almost shyly.

"You look gorgeous, Fai-kun!" Tomoyo breathed, clasping her hands together. "Don't you think, Kurogane?"

Kurogane was snapped back to the moment at his name. "Hnn," he grunted, well aware that his cheeks were flaring up again.

"Hyuu hyuu ~" Fai said again, softly this time. Kurogane looked at him, only to see with mild surprise that there was the faintest tinge of pink on Fai's pale cheeks.

"You two are sooo cute!" Tomoyo squealed loudly. "You look so good together!"

"What are you talking about?" Kurogane sputtered.

"We're just like a couple now!" Fai skipped over happily to Kurogane and clung onto his arm. "We match perfectly!"

"D-don't get any weird ideas!" Kurogane barked at them, trying to shake his arm free.

Tomoyo gently detached Fai from her older brother. "You're almost ready, Fai-kun. Come on, I still have to fix up your hair a bit." She shot Kurogane another amused grin as she ushered Fai into her room and shut the door.

Kurogane lingered in the hall for a few minutes before going downstairs. The entire house was a bundle of energy, as people rushed around getting prepared. He sat down on a couch, more or less out of the way of everyone, and waited for the reappearance of his two companions.

Soon Fai appeared in front of him, hair more carefully messy than before. "Tomoyo's just changing," he told Kurogane before sitting down next to him.

The next half hour passed in a blur of compliments about how absolutely **adorable** the two of them were, which Fai lapped up like a kitten, and watching Tomoyo fussing over last minute wardrobe malfunctions in her own splendid dress.

Soon, they were hurtling towards where the wedding was appointed to take place: a large, grassy park had been reserved nearly half an hour away from where they lived. Kurogane, Tomoyo, and Fai sat together in the backseat of the car of one of the martial arts instructors.

As soon as they arrived, Tomoyo zoomed off to find the women in one of the massive white tents that had been erected and prepare for her role as flower girl. Kurogane and Fai took their seats in the front row, only to be crossly hunted down by his sister a few moments later.

"Kurogane, you're supposed to come with me!" She grabbed his arm and tugged. "Come on, you have to get the pillow and be ready to walk with me!"

Kurogane was yanked away from Fai and swept into a flurry of white dresses as he was surrounded by bridesmaids. Someone pressed the pillow into his hands, a basket of flower petals somehow appeared in Tomoyo's grasp, and before he knew it, they were being lined up to walk out.

Kurogane fidgeted, a bit impatient at all the fuss. "Do you think-"

"Hush!" Tomoyo whispered sharply. "We're about to start!" Sure enough, the music had started up and everyone turned to peer at the gap in the tent. Tomoyo linked arms with Kurogane and started forward, leading her brother along. Kurogane saw his father waiting at the end of the aisle and lifted his chin up.

Even if he didn't approve wholeheartedly of this wedding, he would make his father proud.

They made their way slowly towards the podium that had been placed at the front of the tent, Tomoyo scattering the petals from her small basket all along the way. When they reached the small cluster of adults waiting for them, they both turned to look at the guests assembled. Kurogane recognized most of them from the studio.

Tomoyo squeezed her brother's arm gently before departing for her seat. Kurogane watched as the best man and the bride of honor walked in, then finally Kendappa appeared.

Kurogane had to admit that Tomoyo had overdone herself. The long white dress seemed to flow right off of the dark-haired woman and drift to the ground. In what appeared to be silver thread of some sort, an elaborate design had been weaved all over the gown. The train was so long that two young page boys, Kendappa's nephews, carried it as she walked.

She looked brilliantly, radiantly, happy.

Kurogane was slightly disgruntled when he found that it was hard to dislike this woman, especially with the kindness that she had shown him, and now with the way this union made both her and his dad so joyful.

The rings were accepted and slipped onto the proper fingers, and Kurogane finally managed to escape the scrutiny of all the adults and sit down, between Fai and Tomoyo. There, he waited through the rest of the ceremony and finally breathed a sigh of relief as the last words were said and everyone started getting up.

"That was so long," he complained to Fai. "Completely unnecessary."

"It was wonderful," Tomoyo gushed. "Did you see how Kendappa-san just glowed?"

"All the outfits you designed were amazing, Tomoyo-chan!" Fai praised her enthusiastically. "And you and Kuro-chan looking great walking along together!"

"Kurogane was particularly handsome, wasn't he?" She asked with a wink to Fai. Fai giggled and grabbed Kurogane's arm. "Ohohoho!" She laughed.

"Mommy and Daddy should get married too one day," Fai said, eyes twinkling.

"We haven't played house since we were kids!" Kurogane flushed. "We're not going to get married."

"But Kuro-chan looks so handsome in a suit; he just makes Mommy want to give him a kiss." To Kurogane's complete mortification, Fai actually stood on his toes to give Kurogane a peck on the cheek.

"Wh-what was that for!" He spluttered. Fai laughed and dashed. "HEY! Get back here! I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT!" He ran after Fai, only to be swept up by his dad.

"Whoa, hey!" Mr. Suwa called out as he spun Kurogane around like he was five again. His smile lit up his face and made him look years younger. "What's the rush?"

"Nothing," Kurogane replied quickly. "I'm just chasing Fai again."

"What has that poor boy done to you this time?" His dad chuckled. "Okay Kurogane, don't let him get away!" With that, he set Kurogane back down and headed off.

Kurogane shouldered his way through a flood of chatter and found Fai again, who was talking to a blushing and thrilled Kendappa.

"Kurogane-kun!" She exclaimed, smushing him into her for a hug. "You were just wonderful out there, so serious and handsome!"

"Thanks," Kurogane muttered to the ground once he had been freed. "Umm … congratulations."

He chanced a look up to see Kendappa's eyes flood with tears. "Thank you so much, Kurogane-kun." She hugged him again. "That means a lot, coming from you."

They were soon dragged away by Tomoyo to claim seats at one of the tables that had been set up. After several speeches that left Kurogane struggling not to yawn, they were directed to a buffet spread out with loads of food. Kurogane piled his plate up high, while Fai attacked some sweets with vigor.

"I don't get how you can eat all that sugar," Kurogane commented as he watched Fai licking the icing off a cupcake.

"It tastes good," Fai shrugged happily. "I like sweet things."

"It's not good for you," Kurogane informed him. "You should eat more regular food."

"Is Kuro-daddy worrying about Fai-mommy?" Fai teased. He swiped his finger on the cupcake and smudged the icing he had picked up on Kurogane's cheek.

"You're going to wish you didn't do that," Kurogane told Fai very seriously.

Fai renewed his licking. "Hmm, nope. Can't say I do."

"YOU'RE DEAD!" Kurogane roared. Fai let out a playful yelp and scrambled away,

Kurogane chased Fai out onto the grass, a fair distance away from the closest adults. Fai spun around, skipping backwards and teasing Kurogane with a devilish twinkle in his eye and the cupcake, icing half gone, still in his hand.

"Can't catch me, huh, Kuro-chan!" He called out, before promptly tripping over a misfortunately placed rock. He stumbled backwards, trying to regain his balance before nearly toppling over, if it wasn't for the fact that Kurogane had grabbed onto his arm.

"Idiot," Kurogane scolded. "Watch where you're going."

Fai just laughed, the sunlight catching his blond hair and turning it to silken gold. "I guess Kuro-chan can catch me after all."

"Idiot," Kurogane said again. "I thought I proved that to you already." Fai surprised him with another dab of icing on the cheek.

"Kyaa! Daddy's going to kill Mommy!" Fai squealed and ran as Kurogane let out a howl of outrage.

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months)**

Kurogane chuckles fondly at the memory of that day. He fiddles absentmindedly with the slim band that's around the pinky of his right hand.

A promise ring, given to him by Fai.

He hopes he gets the chance to fulfill his promises.

* * *

**A/N **- Finally got this beta'd and up, after disappearing from the whole fanfiction world for nearly a month *shifty eyes* Hope you enjoyed this fluffier chapter! =D I had a lot of fun writing this, even though I've never been to a wedding before (so if there's something wrong with the wedding procedure that I wrote, please let me know!).


	16. Confession

**Confession (11 Years and 7 Months Old)**

_February 14, 12: 11 Years and 2 Months Old_

Kurogane woke to the sound of Tomoyo banging on his door.

"Guess what day it is!" She shouted excitedly.

Kurogane had a sinking feeling in his stomach. "Don't tell me …" he groaned.

"It's Valentine's Day!" She declared, flinging his door open and chucking a small package at his face. Kurogane caught it at the last moment, his reflexes sharp even though he had just woken up.

"I'm not going to school today," Kurogane immediately declared. "I'm not going to suffer through another day of being hounded by girls and drowned in chocolate. I'll just stay home."

"Nonsense, Kurogane-kun!" Kendappa declared as she appeared in his doorway. "You'll break countless hearts if you stay home."

"I'll break them anyway if I go," Kurogane grumbled. "I'm not interested in any sort of relationship."

"He's saving himself," Tomoyo informed Kendappa with an irritating air of superiority. "He's going to marry Fai someday."

"Don't be ridiculous!" He snapped angrily at his sister. Kendappa chuckled and left them to bicker.

"Kurogane," Tomoyo said seriously. "If you refuse to acknowledge your feelings, Fai will still accept you. Fai will love you anyway, because you're the only one that listens to him; he communicates in a way that only you can understand what he's not saying."

"I don't understand him at all," Kurogane replied, worried by his sister's seriousness. Trying to regain some sense of normality, he frowned at her. "What would you know about love, anyway?"

Tomoyo laughed. "Ohoho! I know plenty, Kurogane Suwa. Plenty more than you, anyway."

"Who is he?" Kurogane demanded. "Aren't you too young? He better be treating you properly, or we'll be having a chat."

"Don't worry," Tomoyo waved her hand dismissively. "I don't have a boyfriend. My point is, you will be marrying Fai some day in the future."

"Stop it with your wild suggestions," Kurogane ordered as he climbed out of bed. "And leave, so I can get dressed."

"It's not a suggestion," Tomoyo smirked. "It's a prediction." She flounced off before Kurogane could say anything more.

He kept his mind carefully blank as he got dressed. The thought that his best friend might be in love with him was slightly troubling and something he would prefer not to think about. He had enough issues to deal with today anyway.

Kurogane was not fond of Valentine's Day.

* * *

"How many chocolates have you gotten so far?" Fai chirped eagerly. His arms were already full and his backpack seemed to be bulging dangerously as well.

"I don't know, but they're all in the garbage now," Kurogane answered while making a determined beeline to his locker. He feigned deafness every time a girl called his name and didn't accept a chocolate unless it was thrown directly at him or Fai and posed a safety threat.

"Kuro-chuu, you're so cruel!" Fai pouted cutely. "I hope I'm not rejected like that someday."

Kurogane looked pointedly at the pile of chocolate he was holding, a faint blush rising to his cheeks as he remembered what Tomoyo had said. "I don't think any girl would turn you down."

Fai laughed. "Whichever girl wins Kuro-chuu's approval will be really special, huh?"

"I'm not interested in girls," Kurogane growled. When Fai started, he hurried on. "I'm not interested in **anyone**. I have no intention of entering a relationship."

"Kuro-chuu's a heartbreaker!" Fai sang gleefully. Unfortunately, Tomoyo also chose that moment to show up, with Sakura and Syaoran in tow. Judging by the furious blush on both of their faces, chocolate had changed hands.

"How many girls have you made cry this morning?" Tomoyo inquired idly.

"Only the ones that are insane enough to think chucking chocolate at me is going to win me over," Kurogane retorted.

"Kuro-chuu yelled a lot this morning," Fai said cheerfully. "He seemed very manly."

"All those girls, hoping to be his princess," Tomoyo shook her head and sighed dramatically. "How they must have been disappointed!"

"Have you given anyone chocolate, Tomoyo-chan?" Fai asked curiously.

Tomoyo pulled out her video camera. "Just my friends. But you should see the footage I have of those two." She gestured at Sakura and Syaoran, grinning.

"Ah, Sakura-chan!" Fai's eyes twinkled. "You gave Syaoran-kun some chocolate?"

Sakura squeaked. "U-um, I w-wasn't - uh, yes."

Fai nodded. "Kuro-daddy and Fai-mommy are very proud of all of you," he declared. "We've raised three such wonderful children!"

Kurogane took a swipe at him, which he dodged skillfully.

"Wah! Kuro-chuu's on the rampage!" Fai flung his arms up and ran off; Kurogane followed with ominous growls.

"I told you not to call me that!" The three children left behind could hear as they vanished from sight.

* * *

"Kurogane-kun!" A girl called out to him eagerly as he made his way to the cafeteria with Fai.

"Not interested," Kurogane said wearily. "You can keep your chocolate; I don't want it."

"Now Kuro-chuu, that's not the proper way to address young ladies!" Fai admonished. He barely had time to finish speaking before a flustered girl appeared in front of them.

"Fai-kun, will you accept this?" She asked breathlessly, holding out a small box with an elaborate bow on top. There was a tag, on which her name, HANA SUZUKI , was clearly printed.

"Of course, Suzuki-chan," he beamed at her.

"Just Hana is fine," she said faintly before dashing back to her pack of madly giggling girls.

They were stopped a few more times before they finally managed to meet up with Souma, Doumeki, Watanuki, and Himawari.

"Let's go," Kurogane ordered. He glanced over his shoulder at a group of girls that were eyeballing them. "Quickly."

The group settled to eat in the grass, nearby a few sakura trees, as they always did.

"Have you given any chocolate to anyone Souma-chan?" Fai asked, nibbling on a cookie.

Souma shook her head. "I have chocolate for all of you now though." Digging through her bag, she unearthed small bundles that she handed to the five of them.

"I have chocolate too," Himawari piped up once Souma was done. "They're not homemade though."

"Anything you give me will be treasured!" Watanuki declared loudly. Everyone else cheerfully accepted the gift and thanked her and Souma.

"This is good," Doumeki intoned, taking a bite out of his lunch.

"Was that-" Watanuki sprang up and pointed a finger at him. "A tone of superiority in your voice!"

Doumeki blinked. "No."

"Of course it's good!" Watanuki huffed. "I made it!"

"There they go again," Souma said with amusement.

"They're such good friends," Himawari giggled. "It's always funny, seeing them do their comedy act."

Fai and Souma shared sly glances. Even Kurogane knew that Watanuki had a crush on Himawari, yet if she knew about it, she gave no sign.

"Hopelessly in love," Fai sighed. He and Souma chuckled.

"Speaking of which," Souma turned to Kurogane. "How many hearts have you broken today?"

"Why does everybody keep on asking me that?" Kurogane shouted, throwing his hands up.

"Everyone knows you, Fai-kun, and Doumeki-kun are the three most popular boys in school," Himawari pointed out, which started another rant by Watanuki about how 'foolish girls fell for that big oaf'.

"Well, if it answers your question, the only chocolate I've accepted are the ones that I've just been given," Kurogane said crossly. "Plus Tomoyo's this morning, and I don't think I'll be accepting anymore as the day goes on."

"Heartbreaker," Souma said, shaking her head. "You really should be more polite to all those poor girls."

"Kuro-chuu is soooo picky," Fai teased.

Kurogane swatted at him for the second time that day and they were off on another chase.

This time, Fai led Kurogane up the branches of the closest sakura tree. Kurogane growled determinedly and followed him, until they were both resting in crooks in the branches.

"You really should be kinder," Fai called down to him from the branch above his.

"Why should it matter to you?" Kurogane snarled, ill-tempered at having been given the same advice so many times.

"Because I think about how each of those girls must feel, gathering the courage to come go up to someone they like and tell them," Fai answered simply. "Even if I can't honestly return their feelings, I think they would be happy if their gift made me happy."

Kurogane scoffed. "Oh, so you're not just afraid that karma will come back and bite you if you reject all the girls now? I said it before; any girl would be willing to go out with you."

"Of course not," Fai swung down suddenly and landing beside Kurogane. "Besides, Kuro-chuu, I wouldn't choose any girl."

"Well, I'm sure she would be a special girl," Kurogane said, wondering where Fai was going with this. "No one would choose just anyone."

"Kuro-chuu is misunderstanding," Fai chuckled. "I wouldn't choose a **girl**."

Kurogane stared at him, surprised. "You're gay? Since when?"

Fai chuckled again, although Kurogane noticed he was watching him anxiously. "Since I was born, I guess. I never thought … I've never really …" he bit his lip nervously.

"Why are you telling me?" When Fai looked surprised at the question, Kurogane just frowned at him. "You should know by now that I don't care whether you're gay, straight, or blatantly mechasexual. I judge people by the things they do, not by who they fall in love with."

Fai sighed and clambered down from the tree. When Kurogane joined him again, he spoke almost wistfully. "Kuro-chuu is so straightforward about what he feels."

"Unlike someone," Kurogane grumbled. Fai just smiled at him. "Whatever. Let's get back."

* * *

Kurogane opened his locker, thankful that the nightmare of a day was almost over. He was exhausted from dodging clingy girls all day, and although he would never admit it, he felt sort of bad whenever he saw the hurt look on girls' faces when he rejected them, one by one.

Seeing a small box that hadn't been there before, Kurogane frowned. The only person in the entire school that knew his combination was Tomoyo, so either someone had spied on him and gotten his combination, or they had planted it with her help. With this in mind, Kurogane reached into his locker cautiously and pulled out the box. It was small enough that it fit in his palm and unlike everything else that had been offered to him today, it was a white box tied with a blue ribbon, instead of something pink or red and frilly.

When Tomoyo appeared suddenly by his locker, eyes sparkling, he glared at her suspiciously. "Did you put this in here?" He demanded.

"Who, me?" Her eyes widened innocently. "Nope, I already gave you your chocolate this morning, remember?"

"But you know who it's from, right?" He brandished it in front of her face. "You're the only one that knows my combination!"

Tomoyo winked. "It's such a beautiful shade of blue, isn't it, Kurogane? Ohohoho!" She left, her maddening laughter trailing after her down the hall.

Kurogane stared at the box, comprehension slowly dawning.

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months old)**

'_It's such a beautiful shade of blue, isn't it, Kurogane?' _Tomoyo's voice rings out in his mind and Kurogane is certain for a moment that wherever she is right now, his little sister thinking of him and laughing.

A month after the day of Fai's confession, on White Day, the blond had found a small black box, bound with a red ribbon, in his locker. Although he never mentioned it to Kurogane, Kurogane was sure he saw him pick up the box and smile.

Kurogane wants to see that smile again.

* * *

**A/N** - This entire chapter came to life because I really wanted Kuro to have blue ribbons from Fai, for whatever reason. *strange author is strange*


	17. Cut

**Cut (12 Years and 5 Months Old)**

_December 7, 12: 11 Years and 11 Months Old_

"Kurogane-kun?"

"Speaking; who is this?" Kurogane frowned as he pressed the phone to his ear. The voice was not one that he recognized right away, although it did sound familiar.

"It's Ashura." Kurogane sucked in a startled breath. Why was Fai's guardian calling him? "I just wanted to ask if you could possibly come over tonight …"

"What for?" The young teenager asked. It was already quite late outside, and they both had school the next day … but then, Ashura had never called him before, so whatever had happened must be extraordinarily important.

"Today is December 7th," Ashura explained. Kurogane's eyes flew open as he realized the date's significance. "I don't want Fai to be alone tonight, since I have an important meeting to go out to …"

But Kurogane was no longer listening; he was busy preparing a bag in which he stuffed the black t-shirt he usually wore at night, along with clothes for the next day and all the essential toiletries. He only paused to pick up the phone briefly again, cutting off Ashura as the adult anxiously called out his name.

"I'm on my way over," Kurogane told him. "Give me a couple of minutes." He ran downstairs and gave Kendappa his most charming smile. When she just looked at him strangely, Kurogane opted for his usual scowl instead and demanded a ride.

"I need to get to Fai's house," he informed her. "He needs me."

"Kurogane-kun, it's already dark out …" she glanced disapprovingly out the window. "Are you sure whatever it is can't just wait until tomorrow?"

"It's December 7th," he reminded her. "It's the anniversary of his mom's death."

Her eyes softened immediately. "Of course. Are you ready? Let's go then."

Kurogane and Kendappa splashed quickly to the car through pouring rain. They drove in silence, with the windshield wiper and the drumming of the rain in the background. Once Kendappa pulled up to the Ruval Estate, she turned around to look at Kurogane in the backseat.

"Be kind to him, Kurogane-kun," she advised, her eyes glittering. "That boy has been through a lot."

Kurogane was about to retort that she should keep to her own business when he remember that Kendappa still taught Fai at the studio. Instead, he swallowed back his anger and nodded mutely.

Squinting through the sheets of rain, Kurogane dashed up to the grand door and rang the doorbell. Within moments, Ashura opened the door.

"Kurogane-kun," he welcomed him warmly, dressed impeccably in a business suit. "Come in, Fai's just-"

The boy in question came hurtling around the corner, eyes wild. Clutching something in his arms, he pushed past Ashura and Kurogane and ran out into the rain.

Kurogane dropped his bag on the porch and sprinted after the blond. He shot past Kendappa, who was getting out of her car, looking shocked. "I'll get him!" He yelled over his shoulder.

"Be careful!" Kendappa's words were nearly lost to Kurogane.

"Stupid!" Kurogane shouted angrily as he chased after Fai yet again. "Stop running, you idiot!"

As per usual, he received no indication from Fai that he had heard anything at all. Fai led him through the darkened streets until they reached the park, where he slowed down and looked over his shoulder. Seeing Kurogane, he picked up the pace again, until he slumped at the edge of the forest.

"Why do you always come here?" Kurogane muttered to himself as he slogged on after Fai. His shoes squished in the muddy field and his clothes were drenched. He finally approached Fai, who sat curled up at the base of a tree. Gingerly resigning himself to being soaked and uncomfortable for the rest of the night, he settled himself beside the blond.

They sat in silence for a long time. Kurogane was at first uncertain about what, if anything, he should say, and as the moments slipped by, he found himself content with the silence. He leaned his head back against the rough bark and stared up at the sky, until he was nearly nailed in the eye by a daring raindrop.

What seemed like hours to Kurogane, shivering and miserable, passed by. He started in surprise when Fai, at last, moved. The blond shuffled slowly closer to him and with a small sigh, rested his head on Kurogane's shoulder. The dark-haired boy immediately tensed up, but soon relaxed.

"What are you holding?" He finally asked after a few more minutes. Without moving his head, Fai lifted from his lap the object he had been carrying. Kurogane stared incredulously at it. "You weren't going to drink that, were you?"

"My mother liked it," Fai whispered quietly, his voice nearly drowned out by the rain. "So did my father, near the end."

"But still," Kurogane frowned. "Were you really planning on drinking a whole bottle of _sake_?"

"I don't know," Fai said dully. "Since I don't think it would kill me, I probably will."

"No you won't," Kurogane countered firmly. "I won't let you."

"What will you do to stop me?" Fai got to his feet and stared at Kurogane defiantly.

Kurogane also stood up. "I won't let you destroy yourself!" Seeing Fai uncork the bottle and raise it to his lips, Kurogane stepped forward and swiped sideways with his hand, breaking the bottle as it slammed into a tree right beside them. The alcohol pooled all around their feet, further staining their already dirtied shoes.

"Just leave me alone!" Fai screamed, slashing in front of him with the neck of the bottle. "What do you care, what happens to me?"

"How many times do I have to tell you?" Kurogane shouted back. "I **do** care!"

"Well, don't! I never asked you to! Everyone who gets close to me … everyone who cares … they all leave!" Fai's eyes shone out in the darkness, sorrow-ridden but tear-free. "So leave! Go!"

"No! I won't! I don't believe that, and you shouldn't either! I won't let you hurt yourself like this!" Kurogane grabbed Fai's wrists. They struggled against each other but Kurogane's strength soon won out. As Fai hung limp in his arms, the shards of the bottle littered around them, Kurogane held on tightly to the back of his jacket. "I won't let you go until you promise to go back home and to never try this again."

Kurogane could feel the other boy's slender hands forming a fist on his chest. "I promise," Fai finally conceded. "I promise to go back home and to never try drinking a whole bottle of _sake_ by myself again."

"Good enough," Kurogane grunted. He released Fai, who stepped back and watched him oddly as he bent to pick up the shattered glass they had dropped.

"You're bleeding!" The blond said suddenly, clutching Kurogane's arms. Sure enough, crisscrossed all over his wrists and hands were cuts, no doubt inflicted by the bottle while Fai wielded it. Fai looked at Kurogane, blue eyes just as broken as the jagged pieces Kurogane was trying to pick up. "I'm so sorry, I just-"

"Save it," Kurogane interrupted. "I'm okay."

"But you got injured because of me … for my sake," Fai whispered, troubled.

"It was my choice," Kurogane stated abruptly. "I made the decision."

Fai let him go and watched him try to hold all the pieces in his hands, only injuring himself further. "Why are you doing that?"

"Doing what?" Kurogane asked as small rivulets of blood ran down his hand.

"Picking up all the pieces," Fai answered. "Why are you doing it? It's not like you can put it back together and put the _sake_ back in it."

"No," Kurogane said slowly. "What's done is done. The past is the past, but we have to deal with the consequences in the present too. We can't let the past shape us." Deciding he had gotten as much of the glass as he could, he stood and jogged the short distance to a trash can, Fai following in his footsteps. "Maybe if it was something more desirable, I would have tried to put it back together."

Fai looked at him for a few moments, a confused and startled look on his face. He seemed to shrug it off as he tugged at Kurogane's sleeves. "We better get your wounds treated." His voice was subdued and quiet.

"They don't bother me much," Kurogane grunted, untroubled. "I'm more worried about you."

Fai averted his eyes. "There's nothing to worry about."

Kurogane snorted. "Hardly. The way you act doesn't put anyone's mind at ease."

"It's none of your business," Fai seemed to sulk for a moment. "You don't have to worry."

"But I do anyway, so you better shape up and stop always making me chase you." Kurogane punched Fai on the shoulder gently, trying to recover some of their lost camaraderie. "Let's go."

Along the way back, Fai took Kurogane's hand, much like the way he had when they had been young. Kurogane grumbled a bit but allowed the blond to hold his hand all the back to Ruval.

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months old)**

Kurogane realizes that Fai is, and never was, normal. He had (has, Kurogane corrects himself) the strangest ways of looking at the world, a viewpoint so different from Kurogane's that they often failed to understand each other completely.

Yet now they were all the other had.

* * *

**A/N **- That last line sounds a tiny bit more doom and gloom than it should ^^'

I feel so bad for what happens to Ashura in this fic ... orz

(you all knew the happy fluffy cute chapters couldn't last forever XD)


	18. Witch

**Witch (14 Years and 8 Months Old)**

_April 2, 15: 14 Years and 3 Months Old_

The first time he really noticed her was when he had to shoulder past her to reach Fai, who was already surrounded by a new crowd of high school admirers. Although their gazes had only met for a second, Kurogane had been shocked to see that her eyes were a red just like his. He swore he saw the girl's lip curl upwards in a smirk before he was past her.

"Fai!" He called out to his friend, shaking all thoughts of the strange girl from his mind. "Hurry up or we'll be late!"

To the delight of his surrounding posse, Fai pouted cutely. "Aww Kuro-pyon, don't be so grumpy! We still have plenty of time!"

Just as Fai finished speaking, the bell rang. He glanced up, looking mildly surprised, and then shrugged cheerfully as Kurogane grabbed his arm and dragged him along. "Who were they?" Kurogane wanted to know.

"Just some nice girls I met yesterday," Fai responded slyly. "You're not jealous, are you, Kuro-pyon?"

"Not at all," Kurogane replied through gritted teeth. "I couldn't care less if you were constantly being mobbed by girls, but next time, could you not be late?"

Fai laughed. "But Kuro-pyon doesn't have to wait for me! I can find my way to homeroom by myself."

"It's only the second day of school," Kurogane snapped defensively. "I don't want you tripping over some crazy fangirl and knocking yourself out, okay?"

"Alright, Kuro-pyon," Fai agreed easily. Kurogane was not convinced and told Fai so with his piercing glare. He didn't have time to say anything else as Fai tore free and skipped into class ahead of him.

"Good morning, everyone!" The blond chirped energetically. "Sensei, I'm sorry that we're late; I was held up in the halls and Kuro-pyon waited for me like the gentleman he is!"

Kurogane slunk through the door, desperately hoping that no one would notice his tall and muscular frame sneaking towards his desk. He could feel his face burning and was sure that it was bright red. "I am not a gentleman," he muttered indignantly.

Someone near the back of the class snorted and he whipped his head around to stare at the perpetrator, only to find himself looking into indifferent red eyes. He opened his mouth and snarled grumpily at the stranger from the hall.

"How uncivilized," she sniffed daintily, although Kurogane was sure this was the kind of girl that wouldn't hesitate to get her hands dirty. "Just like a dog."

Kurogane swiveled his head back at a gasp from Fai, who had moved to stand beside him. "You're right! Kuro-woof is just like a dog! Just as loyal and as huggable as a big doggy!"

"Don't call me that!" He batted away Fai's hand that had risen to pet him. In alarm, he saw Fai's face fall and wondered if he had hit him a bit too hard. "Sorry," he muttered.

"Don't worry about it, Kuro-woof!" Fai chirped, a smile plastered on his face again.

Kurogane growled but restrained from saying anything else to Fai. Instead, he turned his head towards the girl again. "Who are you?"

"How rude," she said, though her mouth curled upwards in a smirk. She stood up, surprising Kurogane with her height. She was nearly as tall as he was, which was saying something since he towered over most other people in their year. "My name is Yuuko Ichihara."

"I've heard about you," Fai said, tilting his head to the side curiously. "They say you grant wishes."

Yuuko laughed. "It's good to know my reputation has preceded me to high school. Yes, if it's within my power, I will grant you whatever you wish – for a price." She seemed to be looking right at Kurogane while she talked.

Kurogane scoffed. "'Within your power'? Who actually believes you can grant wishes?"

Yuuko shrugged, her long flowing black hair spilling over her shoulders. "Everyone that comes to me does. They call me the Far East Witch."

Kurogane snorted in disbelief. "That's ridiculous."

"Don't you have any wishes you would like me to grant?" Yuuko studied him closely. Kurogane glared back at her, determined not to let this crazy girl think she could best him.

"Ichihara-chan, Suwa-kun, Fluorite-kun, we're still in the middle of **class**!" The teacher barked out. "I don't know what you're talking about back there, but stop it and sit down!"

Yuuko shot him another smug smirk before sitting back down. "Think about it."

Kurogane huffed before sliding into his seat right in front of Yuuko. Fai chose to sit next to him, although Kurogane barely looked at him all lesson.

* * *

After class, Yuuko caught up to Kurogane in the hall. He had raced out of the classroom, even leaving behind Fai in the hopes of getting away from Yuuko, but he had been unsuccessful.

"Have you thought about it yet?" Yuuko asked him.

"You can't grant wishes, witch," Kurogane hissed quietly. "You're crazy."

Yuuko grinned at him lazily. "How would you know what I can and can't do?"

"No one can grant wishes! That would be magic, and magic doesn't exist!" Kurogane nearly shouted, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

Yuuko swatted his arm playfully. "No one said I used magic. Maybe I'm just very good at what I do."

"How can anyone be good at granting wishes?" Kurogane asked in disbelief.

"Everyone has wishes," Yuuko explained. "Most of them aren't hard to predict or hard to grant; we are only in high school, after all."

"I don't have a wish," Kurogane told her. "Not one for you, anyway."

"So you admit you have one?" Yuuko raised an eyebrow.

Kurogane shrugged. "What's it to you? Aren't you the one that said everyone has a wish?"

"Most people would also jump at a chance to see their wishes realized," Yuuko shrugged too, although Kurogane couldn't tell if she was mocking him. "I suppose you're different?"

Kurogane paused for a moment, long legs still striding towards his next class. Yuuko easily kept pace with him. "No, not necessarily. Of course I want to see my wish granted, but I believe that if I can't earn it myself, then I don't deserve it."

"I think I know what your wish is," Yuuko grinned at Kurogane, who immediately flushed and glared at her.

"No you don't," he snapped back angrily. "No one does, except for me."

"Not even Fai?" Yuuko asked, a twinkle in her eye.

"No, not even Fai," Kurogane mumbled. Fai had plenty of secrets from him and he kept a few from him as well. In the past few years, they had developed a system – neither would push too far, and they would stay content with the present without delving into painful areas.

"But I thought you two were best friends!" Yuuko's grin stretched out even wider. "Shouldn't best friends tell each other everything?"

"He's not my best friend!" Kurogane replied, wondering where this girl was getting all her ridiculous notions. "I can't stand him sometimes; he's so annoying. He's always getting on my last nerve!"

"Kuro-woof!" Fai sprang out of nowhere and ambushed Kurogane, wrapping himself around the teen's arm. "What did you just say?"

"Nothing!" Kurogane said quickly. "Don't worry about it."

Fai gave him a long look, but eventually shrugged it off and smiled. "Kuro-woof, did you ditch me to hang out with Ichihara-chan here?"

"Not a chance!" Kurogane stepped away from Yuuko. "She's the one that followed me! And I thought I told you to stop calling me that?"

"But Kuro-woof is so cute when he pouts and tries to be scary," Fai poked his cheek. "Besides, Ichihara-chan was right when she said you're just like a dog!"

"Fluorite-kun, please, just call me Yuuko." The witch traded smiles with Fai.

"Well then, Yuuko-chan, you must call me Fai," he responded teasingly.

"Fai-kun it is," she agreed. She seemed about to say something more, but Fai spotted someone and made a happy exclamation.

"There's Souma-chan! She's in my next class with me." Fai waved energetically at the girl, who spotted them and came over."

"Hello, Fai-kun, Kurogane-kun," she greeted them, and then turned her attention to Yuuko. "Who's this?"

"I'm Yuuko Ichihara," she introduced herself. "I'm in Fai-kun and Kurogane-kun's homeroom."

"Ah, the witch," Souma looked her over, seeming rather unimpressed. "I've heard about you."

Yuuko inclined her head in acknowledgement. "It seems a lot of people have."

Souma turned to Fai. "Come on; let's not be late for class." The two walked off together, leaving Kurogane with Yuuko. He tried to sneak off, hoping to lose her in the crowds before she noticed, but a firm hand clasped him on the arm.

"We're not done talking," she said firmly.

"Why do you care so much?" Kurogane asked, exasperated. "What does this have anything to do with you?"

Yuuko shrugged, and then shot a question back at Kurogane. "What do you have to hide?"

"Nothing more than a regular person," Kurogane retorted. He entered his next class, glad to have a reason to say goodbye to the witch, only to remember that Yuuko shared all his morning classes.

"But you wouldn't know how much a regular person keeps hidden," Yuuko pointed out. "It's hidden, after all."

"Whatever you say, witch. Just leave me alone," Kurogane brushed her off.

"Let me at least guess what you wish for," Yuuko insisted, the grin returning, wider than ever.

Kurogane eyed her nervously. He had had experience with Fai and Tomoyo that whenever anyone was so happy when asking something of him, it would usually end up with him wanting to dig himself a hole and bury himself in it (or the others). However, he couldn't think of any other way to get Yuuko to leave him alone. "Fine," he agreed at last. "Let's hear your delusional ideas about me."

Yuuko leaned in close to whisper in Kurogane's ear. "I think you secretly want to see Fai naked."

Kurogane recoiled swiftly, his cheeks flaring up to a respectable shade of red. Sputtering, he frantically denied what Yuuko had just said, but she looked at him knowingly. "Absolutely not! I do not – not ever – look at Fai that way. I mean, it's like – well you know, it's just – he's **Fai**."

"You never struck me as a homophobe, Kurogane-kun," Yuuko inspected him, frowning.

"I'm not," he responded hastily. "That's not the problem. I just don't look at Fai that way. I don't look at anyone that way. I don't want a relationship."

"You're still young," Yuuko said, shaking her head sadly. "You don't know what you want yet."

"You're the same age as me," Kurogane replied. Yuuko only gave him another condescending smile. "Stop thinking whatever you're thinking!"

Yuuko poked his cheek, much like Fai had done before. "You're still blushing bright red, Kurogane-kun."

A very, very deep hole would be nice.

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months old)**

Kurogane rarely knows whether to smile or scowl at the thought of Yuuko. She was the catalyst for so many different events in his life, both good and bad, but all important. She had brought him to where he was now.

Kurogane realizes that if he had never met Yuuko, or if Yuuko hadn't had such an interest in him, his life would be nothing like it is now. He squeezes Fai's hand again, hating the cold skin and lack of strength in his.

Yuuko had been the one to prod him in Fai's direction all the time, with a wink and smirk on her face. She had had the tendency to plant ideas and suggestions in his mind, most of which, Kurogane sees now, involved him and Fai together.

He can't hate her for it.

* * *

**A/N** - High school now *evil Tomoyo laugh* Just a quick warning that I'm tweaking things here and there in the coming chapters so there might be a week or two where I don't update because I'm rewriting ^^'

I'm sick and it's exam week ... orz


	19. Festival

**Festival (15 Years and 0 Months Old)**

_July 12, 15: 14 Years and 7 Months Old_

"Guess what, Kuro-tan?" A squealing blond mass hurled itself at Kurogane, who promptly dodged out of the way. "We're putting on a play for the Cultural Festival!"

Kurogane gaped at Fai, who stood in front of him, eyes shining with delight. "I miss one week of school for a vacation, and you tell me that I have to dress up like a fool and prance around on stage?"

"I haven't even told you the best part yet, Kuro-tan!" Fai bounced up and down. "I get to be the princess, and you're my prince!"

Kurogane stared at him for a few more moments, speechless. "HOW IS THAT THE BEST PART?" He roared once the words had sunk in.

"It'll be so much fun, Kuro-tan!" Fai's eyes literally sparkled as he skipped around Kurogane's room. "We'll get to dress up in costumes and perform for everyone!"

"Wait," Kurogane growled. "Why are you the princess?"

"The entire grade voted on it!" Fai replied enthusiastically. "Nearly everyone agreed that we should have the main roles!"

Kurogane groaned. "Why do they all hate me?"

"We better get to work, Kuro-tan!" Fai told him cheerfully, slapping him on the arm. "The play's in two weeks!"

"How am I supposed to memorize an entire play in two weeks?" Kurogane snapped, irritated. He wanted to find out whose idea this was and snap their neck.

Fai waved his hand at Kurogane dismissively. "You only come in at the end. The only reason you're in the play at all is to save me!"

"Why can't you just save yourself?" Kurogane grumbled. "Stupid useless princess. How hard is it to walk out of a castle?"

Fai pouted. "Don't you want to rescue me?"

"I don't like rescuing people that shouldn't need rescuing in the first place," Kurogane replied. "It's stupid."

"What if I deserved to be rescued?" Fai asked slyly. "Would Kuro-tan gallop in on a white horse dressed in shining armor to save me?"

Kurogane glared at him. "It's up to me to decide whether or not I want to rescue you, and if I do, I'll do it however I want."

Fai chuckled. "Kuro-tan would probably just kill the white horse anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kurogane growled threateningly.

Kuro-tan is so mean and scary all the time!" Fai teased, poking Kurogane's cheek. "All his doom and gloom demeanor wouldn't look good with a white horsey!"

Kurogane sprang at Fai, who squealed in delight and dashed away, thumping down the stairs and out the door. He chased Fai all the way to the park, where they finally stopped, regaining their breath on the side of the soccer field.

"I won't do it," Kurogane huffed finally.

"Won't do what?" Fai asked absentmindedly, thumbing through the script that had been clutched in his hand.

"I refuse to make a fool out of myself!" Kurogane declared. "I won't be the prince!"

Fai looked up at him from where he was sprawled on the grass, a perfectly innocent look on his face. "I think the role as the horse is still open. I'm sure it would be fun getting Doumeki-kun or someone to ride you!"

Kurogane blanched. "The horse? That's it?"

"Maybe you could convince Watanuki-kun to switch with you," Fai suggested casually. "He didn't seem very happy about his role as the third fairy in the woods. He kept on complaining about the sparkly gown he has to wear."

Kurogane thought about it for a moment. "Maybe prince isn't so bad."

Fai smirked. "Thought so." He tossed Kurogane the script. "Let's rehearse!"

Kurogane flipped through the pages until the very end. "Where's my part?"

Fai got up and flicked over a few more pages then pointed to a spot. "We can start rehearsing here!"

"I have never seen any with skin this flawless, nor lips this smooth, nor …" Kurogane stopped and glared at Fai. "I'm supposed to say this to you?"

Fai grinned cheekily. "Well, I'm technically asleep."

"I refuse," Kurogane said flatly.

"You can't refuse though, Kuro-tan!" Fai whined. "It's part of the script!"

"Let's go through another part of the script then," he suggested, not entirely nicely.

Fai brightened up again. "Okay! I know just the part we should practice, over and over! It's the most important scene in the play, anyway. The one that everyone comes to see!"

Kurogane eyed him warily. He had a bad feeling he knew where this was going. "What scene are you talking about?"

"When Kuro-tan kisses me, of course!" Fai squealed. "Come on Kuro-tan, let's practice that part!"

Kurogane flushed. "You want me to just kiss you?'

"It's not that hard!" Fai exclaimed. "Kuro-tan just has to pucker up, like this!" He proceeded to make loud smooching noises that made Kurogane recoil.

"Is there going to be anything I won't want to kill myself over in this play?" Kurogane asked, nearly tripping over a rock.

Fai considered it for a moment, before his face lit up. "What about the scene when we get married and you proclaim your undying love for me?"

Kurogane groaned.

* * *

"Hold still!" Tomoyo commanded, tugging at the swaths of fabric surrounding Fai. The blond just grinned even wider and clapped his hands together. "Fai-kun, you'll mess up your dress if you keep on wiggling!"

"No loss," Kurogane muttered. He had already been outfitted by his little sister and his complaints about the completely unnecessarily poufy sleeves had been hushed. "It's kind of freaky."

"Fai-kun makes a beautiful princess," Tomoyo declared, zipping up the back of his dress with a flourish. "There, all done!"

"That's what makes it freaky," Kurogane clarified. "He looks way too much like a girl." If fact, if it wasn't for the fact that he was completely flat-chested, Fai could've easily passed as a female.

"It's because Tomoyo-chan is so amazing with makeup!" Fai told her. He was way too happy with how he looked, in Kurogane's opinion.

"It was nothing," Tomoyo brushed it off and beamed at Fai. "You're just such a delight to work with, Fai-kun!"

"Is everyone ready?" Their teacher burst backstage, hair tousled and a slightly panicked look in his eyes. "Everyone in the first scene in costume?"

"Everyone's good to go!" Tomoyo chirped. "This'll be great!"

"Thank you again so much for doing this, Tomoyo-chan," the teacher said, relief evident on his face. "It was a huge help."

"No problem, Sensei!" The petite girl reassured him. "I had a lot of fun!"

"Okay then, everyone to their places!" All the students in the first scene rushed onstage, setting up everything needed behind the heavy curtain that still hid them from the audience. "Get out there, and have fun!"

Their teacher paused by Kurogane and Fai. "Suwa-san, please don't ruin the kissing scene again by punching Fluorite-san on the head. Just follow the script." With that, he swept onstage and launched into a speech about all the effort his class had put into preparing this play.

"That wasn't my fault," Kurogane muttered defensively, a bit late. "The idiot was winking at me."

Fai had cheerfully denied it and Kurogane had shouted himself hoarse that day. He knew he had seen the blond wink at him, when he was mentally preparing himself to kiss him. Luckily, they had only rehearsed that scene once, during the dress rehearsal yesterday. Kurogane was sure Fai would have driven him insane if he had had more opportunities.

A roar of applause drew Kurogane's attention. The curtain parted in the middle to reveal Doumeki and Himawari, the king and queen, cooing over a small bundle wrapped in cloth. Souma's voice echoed in the auditorium as she spoke her part as narrator.

A quick glance at Watanuki revealed that he was slowly becoming red, no doubt from repressing the ranting that usually came with this scene (although it might be that the collar of his dress was choking him; Tomoyo had really gone overboard with the sparkles and shiny decorations).

Soon enough, Watanuki made his appearance with several other faeries in a burst of glitter, which left them all stunned and unable to say their lines for several moments. Yuuko stalked onstage with her evil laughter already ringing through the auditorium and a matching smile plastered onto her face.

When it was Fai's turn to perform, he skipped out and nearly tripped over the hem of his dress. Kurogane heard a slight raise in the volume as everyone gushed over how beautiful the princess was. He nearly groaned when one of the women closest to him said, "I wish my Yuri-chan was as cute as that girl!"

"She's a bit lacking in certain areas though, don't you think?" Her companion whispered back. Kurogane resisted the urge to facepalm, knowing that it would just earn him strange looks.

When Fai pricked his finger and collapsed on cue, Kurogane swore he had positioned himself so that Kurogane could clearly see his grin. The blond looked way too happy to be cursed until a kiss could wake him up.

Finally, a little push from Tomoyo sent him onstage. He strode into full view of the audience, conscious of the murmurs that arose and wondering if they were good or bad.

"This must be the mystic castle!" He exclaimed, examining the backdrop. There was a brief silence and he peeked at the audience, instantly regretting it. Why were there so many people here just to watch a school play?

"We've been waiting for you!" Watanuki finally called out, sounding more angry and relieved. He seemed to be rubbing more glitter out of his eyes.

Kurogane drew his prop sword. "Who's there?"

Watanuki and his fellow two faeries, two girls by the names of Karen and Yuzuriha, bowed to him. Yuzuriha spoke, sounding much more enthusiastic than Watanuki did. "We are faeries. We've been waiting for a brave young prince to come to this castle."

Karen took over here. "In this castle sleeps a beautiful princess. She continues to sleep because of a curse cast by a wicked witch."

Kurogane gritted his teeth and forced the words out. "That's a big problem. Is there anything I can do to help?" Impulsively, he muttered, "Feel free to say no." This invoked a wave of laughter from the audience.

Watanuki stepped up. "If you truly feel you want to save the princess …"

Kurogane grimaced. "Not really."

The audience chuckled again. Kurogane sighed and, ignoring the glares directed at him from their teacher, hefted his sword up. "I have this sword and my courage … I promise that I will dispel the curse from the princess!"

Yuuko appeared suddenly, illuminated by a spotlight. "So you are here, Prince!"

Kurogane pointed his sword at her. This was one of the lines that had taken him mere seconds to memorize. "You must be the wicked witch who cast the curse!"

Yuuko cackled. "Get him!" A swarm of his classmates surrounded him and Kurogane swung his sword around in practiced movements, watching them fall to the stage one by one with varying levels of dramatic swooning.

At last, he had the satisfaction of pretending to stab Yuuko. He grinned heartily as Yuuko staggered backwards, damning him as she fell. "I defeated the witch!" He hollered. He thought Yuuko shot him a smirk from her position at his feet, but decided to ignore it.

His surroundings went black for a moment as students rushed around, changing the backdrop and moving the bed onstage. The audience was applauding furiously, drowning out the hissed whispers and footsteps.

The lights sprang back on, temporarily blinding Kurogane. He squinted as his eyes readjusted, then realized he was supposed to be beside Fai. He hurried to his spot and stared at the bed, mentally preparing himself for the next few lines.

"Oh, what a b-beautiful princess," he stuttered, feeling a blush rising as he saw the small smirk on Fai's face. "I've never seen any with skin this flawless or-" Fai's lip twitched. Kurogane growled and swung around to face the faeries. "Okay, it's the damned princess. Instructions."

Watanuki looked taken aback but uttered his lines. "The only thing that will awaken the princess is a kiss from someone who truly loves her!"

Yuzuriha chipped in. "If you truly love her, then a kiss …"

Doing his best not to grimace in distaste, praying his face wasn't as red as it felt, and hoping against hope that Tomoyo was not recording this, Kurogane leaned forward over Fai.

When he had finally steeled himself and he had convinced himself that he was really going to do this, Fai cracked open one eye and whispered quietly, "Hyuu hyuu~ , Kuro-tan."

With a roar of outrage, Kurogane reared backwards. "That's it; you're dead!"

There was a moment of stunned silence as everyone gaped at him. "Th-that's not in the script," Yuzuriha pronounced at last.

"I don't care," Kurogane huffed, raising his sword as if to strike. "I don't love this princess and really, I would happier if he – I mean she, never bothered me again."

"You've never met the princess before," Karen said, trying to smooth over the situation. Striding up next to Kurogane, she gave him a sharp jab in the ribs. "You wouldn't know what she's like."

"I'm not kissing her," Kurogane replied stubbornly, sliding his sword back into its sheath and crossing his arms. He noticed the teacher gesturing wildly at him out of the corner of his eye but chose to ignore him.

Then a voice he only knew too well sounded out from the audience. "Kiss her!" Tomoyo called out. "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

Another voice that he recognized easily also chimed in. "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" Kurogane turned to glare at Yuuko.

The rest of the audience soon joined her, clamoring for a kiss. Kurogane flushed angrily when he noticed that pretty much all of his fellow actors and actresses were also chanting, including Souma into her microphone. "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

"You've got to be kidding me!" Kurogane snapped. Yuzuriha was bold enough to skip forward and give Kurogane a little push towards Fai.

"Come on Kurogane-kun, give the audience what they're asking for!" She whispered into his ear, shooting him a grin as she retreated.

Kurogane glared defiantly at the audience, making sure they knew that he did not want to do this. He placed a knee on the bed and one hand on either hand of Fai's head, and slowly lowered his head.

"Don't you dare try anything else funny," he hissed.

Fai barely moved. "Wouldn't dream of it, Kuro-tan."

"It's Kurogane," he grunted before plunging down to meet Fai's lips with his own. He barely lingered, wrenching his head back up mere moments after he had descended. "There!"

"Hyuu~" Fai giggled, 'awake' now. Kurogane scrambled backwards as he sat up, but Fai looped his arms around Kurogane's neck and wouldn't let go, no matter how much he wriggled or cursed. "My prince has saved me!"

Kurogane was forced to pick Fai up and carry him in his arms as Watanuki, with some encouragement from the audience, declared them husband and wife. He was glad that at least they didn't have to go through the long and equally painful marriage scene. Souma triumphantly declared that they lived happily ever after and had plenty of children due to the lack of birth control in those times, and since Prince Kurogane liked to fu-

Kurogane saw the teacher snatch the microphone out of Souma's hands and sighed in relief. The stage was a mass of confusion, as everyone swarmed around them and cheered. They were all briefly showered in glitter, during which Watanuki's wails of despair could be clearly heard, and Kurogane managed to dump Fai unceremoniously and wrestle his way backstage to change.

He was determined to never do this again.

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months)**

It wasn't much in terms of a first kiss, Kurogane reflected. Or of a decent school play. He had been teased for weeks by everyone that had seen the play; they all said something along the lines of how charming he was and made kissing noises. The teachers had remarked, with somewhat dazed looks, that it had been one of the most successful and most popular plays ever held.

Kurogane still shudders at the memory.

But it was their first kiss, so he can't forget.

* * *

**A/N** - Dedicated to my beta with lots of love, because she adores school plays. This one is stolen from the school play in CCS XD

Thanks for bearing with me during my rather lengthy struggle with these recent chapters and school; I'm pretty much settled into the new semester now so school shouldn't be giving me much trouble anymore.

Reviews, anyone? =D We're drawing closer to the end ...


	20. Habits

**Habits (15 Years and 7 Months Old)**

_February 14, 16: 15 Years and 2 Months Old_

"Kuuuuurogane-kun!" As irritating as the voice was, Kurogane immediately relaxed. He turned around, slamming his locker shut, scowl on his face, and greeted Yuuko.

"What do you want?"

Yuuko smiled at him brightly. "I have chocolate for you!"

"I don't want any of your chocolate," Kurogane snarled, determinedly not making eye contact with any girls.

Yuuko smacked his shoulder. "So rude! It's a present!"

"You're just going to be expecting something-" Kurogane spun around to face her, only to have a chocolate shoved in his mouth. Nearly choking on it, he had no choice but to swallow. "DAMNIT, WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

Yuuko prodded his cheek and then walked away. "I'll be waiting for your White Day present."

"NO WAY!" Kurogane growled at Yuuko's retreating back. "I'm not getting you anything for White Day!"

"That's not very polite, Kuro-chuu," Fai remarked lightly from where he had appeared beside Kurogane. "You did eat one of her chocolates …"

"She tricked me," Kurogane complained. "It doesn't count."

"You know what?" Fai continued as if Kurogane hadn't spoken. "We should go shopping for Yuuko-chan together! She gave me chocolate too, so I have to give her a gift."

Kurogane eyed Fai warily. "Don't you also have to buy presents for your legions of fangirls?"

Fai shook his head mournfully. "I simply can't keep up with the amount of chocolate I get, so I usually only give presents to friends on White Day."

"Smart," Kurogane responded simply. He dodged something frilly aimed at his face and made his way into homeroom. "Did you finish the homework?"

"Of course," Fai replied, taking it out of his bag and waving it in Kurogane's face. "Takami-sensei has been going on about this essay for so long, I would have to be an idiot to forget it."

Kurogane smirked. "It must be a miracle that you remembered then, since you're one of the biggest idiots I know."

Fai pouted. "That wasn't very nice, Kuro-chuu."

"Maybe if you called me by my real name, you wouldn't be such an idiot." Kurogane dumped his bag on the corner of his desk which, to his dismay, was covered in boxes of chocolate already. Seeing a group of girls giggling and staring at him, he sighed and walked over to them, carrying their sweets in his arms.

"Good morning, Kurogane-kun!" One of them greeted him enthusiastically.

"Look," Kurogane told them gruffly but not unkindly. "I don't want your chocolate. I'm sorry, but I have no interest in having a relationship and I don't want you to waste chocolate on me." He turned to walk away.

"Kurogane-kun," the same girl spoke. "Even if you have no intention of eating it, please accept the gift. I don't except anything on White Day from you, or anything like that, but I worked hard to make this chocolate just for you!" Her eyes swelled up with tears.

Kurogane sighed and nodded, taking all the sweets back with him. He took one look at Fai's desk, which had several girls on it, and promptly avoided it. Instead, he put the chocolates in his bag and sat down, staring gloomily out the window.

Even in high school, Kurogane, Fai, and Doumeki remained among the most popular male students. Despite Fai's frequent claims that his scowls were fierce enough to scare away everyone (but him, apparently), Kurogane still found himself with plenty of chocolate on Valentine's Day. All three of them did, despite neither Kurogane nor Doumeki having ever expressed an interest at all in the opposite sex; Fai would often flirt with everyone and anyone, but never entered a relationship.

Kurogane groaned when Yuuko entered the room and winked in a completely unsubtle manner at him.

* * *

Unfortunately, word got out somehow that he was accepting chocolates and by the end of the day, Kurogane got so fed up that he sent away the latest posse of girls in tears.

Doumeki appeared beside him, Watanuki in tow, and looked at the stormy expression on Kurogane's face.

"Stupid girls," he muttered, stomping to his locker. "They just don't seem to understand that I want to be left alone!"

"They all hope that they're the one you'll accept," Doumeki said reasonably.

"I don't understand what anyone could see in this idiot!" Watanuki yelled, although slightly less enthusiastically than usual. "Just look at his expressionless face … it's like falling in love with a rock!"

"You look even more pathetic than usual when you're jealous." Doumeki rested his hand on Watanuki's head for a moment then snatched it away when the other teen clawed at it.

"I'm not jealous, you big oaf!" Watanuki shouted, flailing out of Doumeki's reach.

"Where's my food?" Doumeki asked him when he paused to take a breath.

Watanuki fumbled with his bag for a moment and unearthed a bag which he flung at Doumeki's head furiously, muttering all the while. "Who asked you to miss lunch for an archery club meeting anyway? The fresh food I made went to waste!"

After Watanuki had calmed down somewhat, Doumeki had finished his lunch, and Kurogane had glowered at enough people to feel somewhat better, Doumeki suggested that they leave.

Kurogane nodded and slung his backpack over his shoulder. Together, the three of them exited the school. They were nearly halfway across the yard when Kurogane realized what was missing.

"You guys go ahead," he told them, already jogging back into the school. Watanuki's voice rang out as he opened the door and ceased when it slammed shut behind him; Doumeki had no doubt looked at him in some 'offending' way again.

Kurogane walked quickly through the halls until he reached his locker. He opened it, and sure enough, a small box was waiting for him, tied by a blue ribbon. Smirking slightly, Kurogane scooped it up and opened it, popping one of the dark chocolates nested inside into his mouth.

"Not bad," he admitted, causing the janitor, the only person left in the hall, to give him a strange look. He slammed his locker shut.

"Kuro-chuu!" Fai appeared seemingly out of nowhere, a satisfied smirk on his face. Kurogane wondered if he had heard what he had said about the chocolate. "There you are!"

Kurogane grunted. Neither of them ever spoke of the chocolate in their locker, even though it was obvious who it came from, just like neither of them ever spoke of the return White Day gifts.

"Did you get any good chocolate today?" Fai chirped cheerfully.

Kurogane grimaced. "Girls are evil beings."

Fai laughed and took his arm. "Kuro-chuu is so silly! One day, he'll find a nice girl who isn't scared away by the way he growls and barks and they'll get married, and maybe even have little Kuro-chuus!" A somewhat wistful smile passed over Fai's face, but it was gone so quickly Kurogane wasn't really sure it had been there at all.

"Not likely," he retorted.

Fai giggled. "It's okay, Kuro-chuu, Fai-mommy won't be too upset, as long as I get to meet her!"

Kurogane reddened significantly and Fai pranced away, sensing danger. "Stop it with the damn nicknames and don't say things like that!"

"What's this? Is Kuro-daddy saying he's going to remain faithful to Fai-mommy and love her forever and ever?" Fai teased, blowing a kiss in Kurogane's direction. "Awww, how sweet! Kuro-chuu's a closet romantic!"

"Stand still so I can pummel you to bits," Kurogane hissed before springing at Fai.

His squeals rang around the yard as Kurogane chased him.

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months old)**

They had fallen into all sorts of habits, Kurogane reflects. They knew each other well and could easily predict what the other would do.

They were a pair, two opposites that repelled and attracted.

* * *

**A/N** - Hooray for last minute adjustments to the plot while getting prepared to post! What you just read is probably my least favorite and the hardest to write chapter of the entire series because it feels so _forced_. Gah. I nearly deleted this entire chapter several times to substitute in more fluffy fluff, but changed my mind each time. It gets much better after this though (I think it does, anyway XD), so don't let this drive you away?

I will respond to PMs and new reviews tomorrow, I promise .. (I should really be sleeping now ..)

Also, today was the release date for Pokemon Black & White here in North America, so of course I ran out and got Black. _*insert Pokemon spazz here*_


	21. Departure

**Departure (16 Years and 1 Month Old)**

_August 29, 16: 15 Years and 8 Months Old_

Kurogane jolted awake as he heard a light tap on his window. Already glaring at whoever was on the other side, he got up and drew back the curtain.

"What are you doing here, witch?" Kurogane hissed, staring at Yuuko, who was perched on his windowsill. Yuuko just grinned cheerfully and cupped her ear with one hand, pointing at the window with the other.

Kurogane growled and slid open his window a small fraction. Yuuko grabbed it, pulled it all the way open, and then swung into his room effortlessly. "What was that, Kurogane-kun?"

"I said, what are you doing here?" Kurogane crossed his arms and glared at her, contemplating whether or not to throw her back out the window. "It's 3 in the morning."

"It's time," Yuuko said mysteriously. She perched on Kurogane's desk, her black hair flowing around her.

"Time for what?" Kurogane grumbled, tired and impatient. "What can't you tell me tomorrow at school?"

"I won't be there."

Kurogane blinked and then scowled. "You're cutting class?"

"I'm insulted that you would think such a thing," Yuuko grinned. "But no, I'm leaving."

"Why?"

"Because it's time for me to leave."

"That doesn't make any sense," Kurogane muttered. "Make sense or I'm throwing you out the window."

Yuuko leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees and balanced her chin upon her open palms. "I've done what I came here to do, and now it's time for me to leave."

"Great. So why are you here?"

"To collect payment, of course."

"For what?" Kurogane demanded, glaring at her. "I've never asked anything of you!"

Yuuko 'tsk'ed. "It was for your wish that I came all the way here."

Kurogane gaped at her. "I never even said I had a wish!"

"No, but you wished for it with all of your heart." Yuuko got up and walked in front of him. She pressed her fingers into his chest, her nails poking him painfully.

"That doesn't mean anything," Kurogane countered. "I never asked for your help, so I shouldn't have to pay you."

"No, you didn't," Yuuko agreed. "There is someone else that wished that your wish might come true, but your wish is an expensive one. It is impossible for anyone to pay the price for me to see the wish granted in full."

"Then why are you here?" Kurogane would have shouted, if there hadn't been three others sleeping in the house. "Just leave!"

"There are limits to how much I can interfere," Yuuko murmured, backing up and staring at the stars outside. "But I stayed longer than I should have, and now everything is unbalanced. I need something from you to balance it out."

"No way," Kurogane said. "I'm not giving you anything."

Yuuko ignored him and looked around his room. She dodged around him to his bookshelf and picked up the blue ribbons that sat there, bundled together. She fingered them thoughtfully, until Kurogane snatched them out of her hands.

"You're not getting these ribbons," Kurogane told her firmly. "No way am I giving them to you."

"They're worth too much anyway," Yuuko replied. "Why are they so precious to you?"

Kurogane looked away. "None of your business."

Yuuko moved on, her eyes scouring the room. They lingered on a small photo album that rested on his drawers. She flicked it open, flipping through the pages. "I'll accept one of these photos as payment."

"No!" Kurogane reached for the album but Yuuko held it out of his reach. "Why do you want my pictures?"

"Because they're precious to you," Yuuko murmured. She turned to a page with two pictures from Kurogane's surprise birthday party last year. There were four photos on the page: a big group picture, a picture of him with his family, a photo of him with his friends, and finally one that Tomoyo had slipped into his hand with a wink. It was a picture of just him and Fai; Fai was laughing and trying to feed Kurogane cake. "Perfect."

"For what?" Kurogane demanded, somewhat nervous. Whatever Yuuko wanted to do, she usually got away with. "You're not getting any of them; that's just creepy …"

"Choose," she said, propping the album up so that the photos faced Kurogane. "I'll let you keep one picture of the four."

"Just give me back the album, witch!" Kurogane made another grab for it, but Yuuko once again flitted out of his way. "Why do I have to choose?"

Yuuko just looked at him, strangely serious. "Do it, or I'll take all four."

"Wouldn't that disrupt the balance, or something?" Kurogane grumbled. When Yuuko just looked at him, he sighed and resigned himself to his fate. He would be losing three photos tonight, whether or not he liked it.

"Choose!"

"Alright, you damn witch. I'll choose." Kurogane hesitated for a moment, unsure which photo he wanted to pick, but his eyes seemed to stray by themselves to one of the four. Aware that Yuuko would probably make some obscene comment, he pointed at the one with only him and Fai. "That one."

To his surprise, Yuuko didn't smirk or say anything aggravating. She simply removed the other three from their places, tucked them into a pocket on her extravagant pants, and nodded. "I'll be leaving now then."

"Good riddance," Kurogane muttered, showing her the window.

"When you need me again, ask your sister. She'll know." Yuuko's last words lingered behind her after she disappeared into the night.

"There's no way I'm ever asking for your help," Kurogane told the night air.

* * *

"Kurogane-kun, you look awful," Souma commented the next morning.

"Blame that damned witch," Kurogane snapped, spinning his lock with more vehemence than usual. "She showed up at my house at 3 in the morning."

"Why?" Souma asked, surprised, but Kurogane didn't answer.

"Did you know the witch was leaving?" He demanded, glaring around at his group.

Watanuki looked puzzled. "Yuuko-san's leaving?"

"Well, she's not here today, right?" No one spoke up, so Kurogane took that as confirmation. "She said she was leaving."

Watanuki frowned. "She didn't say anything to me …"

"If she's really gone," Kurogane muttered. "Then good riddance … I don't care what she was here for. I can grant my own wishes."

* * *

**Now ( 21 years and 5 months)**

Kurogane doesn't know how it would have all played out if it wasn't for Yuuko, but if this is what happened with her help, then he is afraid of what would have happened if he had tried to grant his wish himself.

He would have failed, he fears.

* * *

**A/N** - ... Most of Yuuko's part in this world had to do with Fai, which means Kuro didn't get to see them (her interactions with Fai are, for the most part, still gathering dust in my mind. I'll type them up someday ^^').

Wow, we're almost at the end! Just five more chapters =) And next chapter, things really start moving again!

It's also been a full year since I first started this fic - which is really fitting, because this is one of the first scenes that popped into my head (although this chapter is SO different from my original idea - maybe I'll type it up sometime and compare, just for fun).

Thanks for reading! =)


	22. Hope

**Hope (17 Years and 2 Months Old)**

_September 17, 17: 16 Years and 9 Months Old_

"What is it?" Kurogane demanded, shaking Fai. "What's wrong, damnit!"

Fai smiled blandly up at him. "It's nothing, Kuro-mi. Don't worry about it."

"Tch," Kurogane scoffed. He swung his fist back and punched the wall behind Fai. Fai flinched and Kurogane glared at him. "I can see it in your eyes, Fai; don't try to hide it from me! What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Fai said softly, eyes downcast. He hugged himself and hunched up his shoulders, looking like he wanted to disappear. "It's nothing."

Kurogane gripped Fai's shoulder with one hand and forced his chin up with the other. Fai met his eyes reluctantly, a smile glued onto his face. "Why are you still smiling?" Kurogane demanded. "How can you look at me with eyes like that and still smile?"

"I don't want you to be sad, Kuro-mi," Fai whispered, unable to break free. "I don't want anybody to be sad because of me."

"Do I **look** happy right now?" Kurogane yelled. "Why can't you see? Why can't you understand? People care about you! What would Tomoyo say if she saw you like this? She loves you!"

Kurogane's cell phone rang. Growling in frustration, he flipped open his phone. "What?"

"K-Kurogan-ne …" Kendappa's voice drifted over the phone. She seemed to be crying.

"Kendappa-san?" Kurogane frowned. "What's wrong?"

"K-Kurogane … your f-father … there was a-an accident …" Kurogane's eyes widened in horror. He fumbled in his pocket for keys.

"What hospital is he in?" He shouted into the phone as he ran for his car.

"The h-hospital closest to the studio …" Kendappa let out another quiet sob.

"I'll be right there," he promised.

"I-I need to c-call Tomoyo-chan," his step-mother mumbled.

"I'll get her," Kurogane said quickly. "Don't worry about it." He flipped his phone shut and flung open his car door. He struggled to start the car; his hands were shaking badly.

"Kurogane," he heard a voice say and turned to stare blankly at Fai, who had evidently followed him. "You're in no condition to drive."

"I have to get Tomoyo!" He insisted. "My dad … he's at the hospital."

"I'll drive." Fai looked at him steadily. "I'll get you there."

Numbly, Kurogane nodded. He staggered out of the driver's seat and around to the other side and Fai drove off. They sped along the roads until they screeched to a halt in front of Kurogane's house.

"I'll get her," Fai said firmly. "You'll only scare her with the condition you're in."

Kurogane let out a faint sound of agreement. Everything was happening so quickly; he found it hard to concentrate, hard to believe that his father lay in a hospital somewhere. Before Fai got out of the car, Kurogane grabbed his arm. Fai looked at him expectantly.

"I trust you," Kurogane said, not sure why it seemed important.

Fai glanced at him oddly … guiltily, almost. "I know." He slid out.

Kurogane waited in the car, drumming his fingers on the dashboard with nerves. Surely it wasn't a deadly accident? But then, he didn't think he had ever heard Kendappa sobbing before. It must have been bad, if her reaction was that strong.

Fai soon re-emerged with Tomoyo, whose eyes were glittering with distress.

"What happened?" She asked as soon as she was in the car.

"I don't know the details," Kurogane answered as calmly as he could. "Just that there was some sort of accident."

The rest of the ride passed in silence.

* * *

"How is he?" Kurogane demanded as soon as he spotted Kendappa hovering in the waiting room.

Kendappa just shook her head. She was no longer crying and seemed to be slightly more in control of herself. "He's still in the emergency room. There was some sort of accident at the studio while I went out for a coffee."

"It's not bad though, is it?" Tomoyo asked anxiously. "He'll live?"

"If it was that bad, I'm sure we would have heard something by now," Kendappa reassured her, although she sounded like she didn't believe it herself. She bent down to look at Tomoyo, who was relatively short for a 15 year old. "Whatever happens, we'll get through it together."

At that moment, a doctor came around the corner and scanned the room before approaching them. "Excuse me; are you the family of Suwa-san?"

"Yes, that's us." Kendappa tried to put on a brave smile and failed miserably. "How is he?"

The doctor looked at them sadly. "I'm sorry … we did all we could but … we couldn't save him."

"No." Kurogane heard himself say suddenly. "NO! THAT'S UNACCEPTABLE!"

"I'm sorry," the doctor said again. "It was too late, we-"

"NO!" Kurogane screamed, punching a wall for the second time that day. He stared back defiantly at everyone around him then stormed out of the hospital.

He was vaguely aware of Fai following him and waited for the blond to get in the passenger side before tearing out of the parking lot. He careened wildly through the streets, no longer caring where he went, as long as he left the hospital behind.

They ended up at the park where they had spent so much of their childhood playing together. Kurogane angrily got out and stormed over to a tree on the edge of the forest, far away enough from the scattering of children around the park. He punched the tree over and over again, barely aware of the blood that started flowing down his hands.

He felt a gently pressure on his arm and looked to see Fai beside him.

The sight of Fai, who had already lost both of his parents, tore Kurogane up even more. He punched the tree a last time then flopped onto the ground, resting his back against the trunk.

He stared up at the sky. "Why did he have to leave?" He asked, well aware that it was the question of a child.

"Everyone leaves," Fai replied softly.

"Why did he have to leave **now**?"

"Would it have hurt less any other time?"

Kurogane shot Fai a sharp glance. The other teenager met his gaze.

"I'll become stronger," Kurogane said, vaguely remembering a conversation he had had a long time ago. "I'll become stronger so that I can protect everyone I love."

Fai edged forward hesitantly and crawled into Kurogane's lap, pressing the older boy to him.

"I'll become stronger," Kurogane repeated, one hand resting on Fai's back, the other absentmindedly stroking Fai's hair. "I'll fight for everyone I love."

"I know," Fai murmured. "I know you will."

They held onto each other long after the sun had set.

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months)**

Looking back, Kurogane thinks that it was a somewhat odd answer, although at the time he hadn't questioned it. He still remembers how warm Fai was in his arms, how they had fallen asleep, slumped against that tree.

Kurogane knows that if he could fight for Fai right now, he could win.

But it's not up to him.

* * *

**A/N** - I'm kind of surprised I kept Kuro-daddy around for this long ... but the time was never right before. This was _hitsuzen_. (or something XD)

There's an adorable image of Kuro and Fai as fairly young kids, with Kuro slumped against a tree and Fai sort of peering at him curiously (I can't find it again, grr), which was an inspiration for this fic and this chapter.

The storyline at 21 years old sort of starts doing something next chapter, so stay tuned! =D Thank for reading =)


	23. Vow

**Vow (17 Years and 2 Months Old; Part II)**

_September 27, 17: 16 Years and 9 Months Old_

Fai was missing.

Kurogane hadn't seen him since days before, at his father's funeral. Fai had stood wordlessly at Kurogane's side; he seemed to glow with his own strange light in the newly grim and gray world.

Kurogane looked around the yard, wondering numbly where Fai could have gone. Souma stood beside him, lending him her quiet strength. Where the others were, he neither knew nor really cared.

"You've been out of it lately," Souma said, her voice drifting to Kurogane.

"Have I?" He glanced at her without seeing her.

Souma met his distracted gaze steadily. "You're so terribly sad all the time and when you're not staring off into space, you're angry."

"I'm not angry or sad," Kurogane replied indifferently. "I'm okay."

"People who are okay don't go on a rampage at home and destroy everything in their room," Souma retorted.

Kurogane finally turned to look at her straight on. "Tomoyo told you?"

"She's worried about you," Souma said softly. "She needs you now more than ever. So does Kendappa-san, even if you hate her."

Kurogane remained silent for a while. "No," he answered at last. "I don't hate her."

He walked off.

Scanning the yard, he looked for Tomoyo. He found her sitting with Sakura and Syaoran beneath the sakura trees that he himself had sat under countless times with Fai, Souma, Watanuki, Doumeki, and Himawari.

"Tomoyo," he called out, obtaining her attention. When she turned to him, a look of surprise on her face, he knelt before her, ignoring the blatant looks of curiosity he was attracting. "Tomoyo," he repeated.

"What is it, Kurogane?" She asked gently.

"I promise, Tomoyo, that whatever happens, I will protect you with my life. No matter what other tragedies are thrown at us, I'll keep you safe. I promise you Tomoyo, I'll protect you with all of my strength." His voice was calm even as his thoughts sped, too quickly for even him to follow.

A brief pause followed as Tomoyo studied him. Kurogane was unsure of what she found, but finally she nodded and smiled at him. "Thank you, Kurogane." Her reply was simple and complete.

"I also have a question for you."

"Ask away," his sister replied easily.

"The witch," he said, watching her. "Where is she now?"

Tomoyo looked at him strangely, but told him anyway.

Kurogane stood, now that what he had come here to do was done. He walked to his car, aware that there were stares directed at him every direction. He drove to the shop that Yuuko now occupied, his mind focused on only one thing now.

It was situated between two normal buildings and seemed rather out of place. Kurogane frowned at it, wondering why he hadn't noticed it before, then reasoned it away by telling himself that he rarely ever drove this way.

"I've been waiting," she greeted him as soon as he opened the door. "You're aware that you will have to pay a price."

"Of course," Kurogane snapped, feeling some of the usual irritation he experienced whenever he was around the witch return. "But if he truly didn't want me to know, then he wouldn't have come to you."

"True enough," Yuuko conceded. "Unless he was absolutely desperate, am I right?"

Kurogane nodded mutely. "Name your price."

"You wish to know Fai's location," Yuuko stated, shifting slightly in her elegant chair, her black hair falling forward to drape around her arms.

"Yes," Kurogane confirmed.

"Your price will be the burden of doing what you know to be right," Yuuko told him, her voice emotionless. "And you will accept the consequences, no matter how harsh they might be."

"Agreed," Kurogane said without a second thought.

"Fai-kun has run away."

"From Ashura-san," Kurogane stated, not as a question, but as a fact.

Yuuko inclined her head. "He's currently in the hands of a young couple that owes me a small debt. The address is here." From somewhere on her outfit, the witch withdrew a small piece of delicately folded paper and offered it to Kurogane.

Kurogane strode forward and took it from her. He opened it up and read what was written and then turned and left.

"I trust that you will hold your end of the bargain." Kurogane ignored Yuuko's last words as he climbed into his car again, driving off to a small motel nearly 40 minutes away.

* * *

"I'm terribly sorry," the energetic man that was sitting at the front desk said. "But we're currently full. There's another motel, just a few more minutes drive, close by, if you need directions …" he trailed off as Kurogane glared at him.

"I'm here to talk to Fai," he said coolly.

"I'm sorry, but guest information is confidential." The man smiled just as coldly back at him. "I can't help you."

"I was sent by the witch," Kurogane explained. He watched as the man pressed his lips together.

"Well, if it was Yuuko-san, what can I do?" The man shook his head and laughed, stepping around the desk. He clasped Kurogane on the arm in an overfriendly way and led him down the hall. "I'm Sorata Arisugawa; who are you?"

"Kurogane," he said curtly.

"Not a very talkative one, are you?" Sorata skipped backwards to peer at Kurogane's face. "All scary looking too … are you sure Fai's going to be happy to see you?"

Kurogane faltered briefly. "Maybe not," he admitted.

Sorata stopped suddenly and Kurogane nearly ran him over. "Now wait a moment," the young man, hardly older than Kurogane, said sternly. "Fai-kun is a nice young man with a few problems, and if you're here to make those problems worse, then no matter what Yuuko-san said, I'm not going to just let you waltz in there and …"

"I want to help him," Kurogane cut in. "But he might not appreciate my help."

The other man frowned at him but seemed to finally decide to continue down the hall. "Fai-san! You have a guest!" He called out after knocking on a plain red door that looked like every other one.

"Who has Yuuko-chan sent to me?" Kurogane heard Fai ask, puzzled, just before he opened the door. "Oh."

"Oh?" Kurogane raised an eyebrow. "You went missing for four days, and all you can say is oh?"

"Why are you here?" Fai mumbled, like a child that had been caught sticking his hand in the cookie jar.

"Why am I here?" Kurogane asked, nearly vivid with disbelief. "You disappeared for **four days**. Souma-chan and the others were worried sick! They've all noticed that something is different with you; for the past few months you've been getting more and more distant. Something must be wrong with Ashura-san, and now you've finally run from whatever it is."

"There's nothing wrong," Fai defended himself feebly. "You don't have to worry. You didn't have to go through all the trouble to come here."

"When will it get through your mind?" Kurogane shouted. "How many times will you say that, until you finally realize? Always telling me nothing's wrong, that I don't have to worry. How many times do I have to tell you, I do worry?"

Fai smiled at him. "There's really nothing for you to worry about."

Kurogane grabbed the front of Fai's shirt and bodily lifted him off the ground. The blond's eyes widened, although where from surprise or fright Kurogane couldn't tell.

"Don't smile unless you mean it," Kurogane hissed, resisting the urge to punch Fai.

Fai dropped his smile and looked at Kurogane, eyes blazing fiercely. "Just go; this has nothing to do with you."

"When will you accept," Kurogane asked through gritted teeth. "That your problems affect me as well?"

Fai tugged at Kurogane's arm. He let him go, although he continued to watch the blond through slitted eyes. Fai turned his back on Kurogane and retreated into his room, picking up a bottle and pouring himself a glass.

Kurogane advanced and promptly snatched the cup out of Fai's hands. "No sake for you," he said firmly. "I will not allow you to destroy yourself."

"Not your decision," Fai responded, reaching in vain for what was in Kurogane's hand.

"If you want to die so badly," Kurogane growled. "I will kill you with my own two hands." Fai's eyes widened yet again in shock. "You know I can. But until that day, live!"

Fai seemed to droop in resignation. He stepped back and was rubbing his arms absentmindedly, hugging himself, when his cell phone rang. Hesitantly, he answered it.

"Ashura-san?" He paled immediately. There was a tense silence as he listened to whatever Ashura was telling him. "I'll be right there."

"I'll give you a lift," Kurogane said immediately, already out the door. He tugged on the gloves Tomoyo had made for him to protect his hands from the cold and brutal winds the beginning of spring sometimes brought.

"Don't trouble yourself," Fai responded. "Just go back to school."

"Your car isn't parked outside," Kurogane replied. "You have no way of getting home. If you want to get to Ashura-san, you'll have to accept a ride from me."

He waited patiently as Fai stared past him, indecisive. Finally, the blond gave him a curt nod.

"Aren't you even going to ask me what this is about?" Fai asked quietly as they sped through the streets.

"I said it before, and for whatever reason, apparently I need to say it again," Kurogane snapped. "It doesn't matter to me. All that matters is what you do about it – that's how I'll judge you."

"Even if what I do ends my life?" Fai muttered quietly, mutinously.

Kurogane shot him a brief glare before turning his attention back to the road. "Then I'll never forgive you."

Fai said nothing more for the rest of the car ride.

* * *

When they pulled up to the Ruval Estate, Fai was out of the car before Kurogane was even fully parked. He threw open the door and paused to listen for noises. Hearing none, he proceeded uneasily through the rooms; Kurogane trailed his footsteps until they reached the poolside.

"No," he heard Fai say. "No, no, no!"

Kurogane looked at what had the blond so upset. He saw at first long, flowing tresses of blond hair lying on the tiles and didn't understand until he followed the strands to their roots and saw Chii's glassy eyes staring at them.

"I knocked him out four days ago," Fai whispered, caressing the now dirty hair. She had died from a knife wound at least half a day ago, judging by the way dried blood stained her once white dress and the rigor mortis that had set in. "He … he was going crazy. Seeing things that weren't there … threatening us until … until we promised to kill him when whatever demons he saw possessed him."

Fai looked up at Kurogane, eyes shining but still tearless. They seemed to beg forgiveness and understanding from him, even as he stood frozen. "I slipped drugs into his drink and I fled and I thought Chii had done the same … but she was here when he finally woke up." He closed his eyes and buried his face in her hair.

"Fai," a soft, lingering voice sounded from across the pool. "You left me, Fai; you put me to sleep and broke your promise."

Fai didn't move.

Ashura stepped into view, his own long black hair tidy. He looked as immaculately groomed as he usually did whenever Kurogane saw him, but now his eyes shone with a strange burning.

_Madness,_ Kurogane realized. _He is fully and truly insane._

"Grant me my wish, Fai," Ashura said, extending a hand towards him. Fai finally looked up and he stood, taking a small step towards Ashura.

"You promised," the man whispered. "I placed my trust in you, Fai. After all these years … I thought I could trust your word."

Fai still moved forward, seemingly drawn in by his guardian's hypnotic tone.

"You killed Chii," he accused, not breaking eye contact.

Ashura smiled. "She was lovely in life, and even lovelier in death, don't you think? See how the red spread so beautifully across the white fabric … just like the petals of a flower." Ashura closed his eyes for a brief moment, looking like he was enjoying himself. "Such a beautiful flower, and I am blessed enough to see it."

"Why did you have to kill her?"

Ashura snapped his eyes open. "She wouldn't grant me my wish, Fai. It's all up to you now. I've been betrayed by my own flesh and blood … but you wouldn't betray me, would you? Child of the woman I loved …" His hand drifted to the small table beside him. He picked up the knife and offered it to Fai. "Won't you fulfill your promise?"

Fai shook his head, even though he still walked forward. "I'm weak," he said slowly, as if explaining something to a young child. "I've always been weak."

"No," Ashura assured him. "You've never been weak. You've always been kind, Fai, and kindness is not weakness."

"I was too weak to act when I should have," Fai continued as if Ashura had not spoken. "I should have spoken up ages ago; I could have saved Chii. But-"

"But you couldn't kill one who had raised you, right Fai?" Ashura smiled again. "You were too kind to turn again someone that had cared for you, when you were alone and lost, isn't that right? But now, Fai," Ashura set the knife down briefly and strode forward, taking Fai's face in his hands. "I'm not only a man you came to love, Fai. I'm the murderer of your dear darling sister, who despite yourself, you couldn't help but love."

Fai lowered his eyes, ashamed. "Yes."

Ashura stepped back, satisfied. He picked up the knife and once again held it out to Fai, this time with a pair of gloves. "My fingerprints are already all over the knife, so it will be ruled as a murder followed by a suicide."

Fai, slowly, so slowly, took the gloves and put them on. He reached out for the knife, but Ashura held on.

"You wouldn't think of finishing yourself off after you killed me, would you, Fai?" The man asked mercilessly. "That won't do at all. You see, I'd like it if you could live."

Fai hesitated and Kurogane knew that was exactly what he had been planning to do. "Why?"

"I have my reasons," Ashura said softly. Then he gestured at Kurogane. "You there, come stand beside Fai. You wouldn't let him die, would you?"

As if a spell on him had been broken, Kurogane stumbled forward.

"No!" Fai shouted, whipping the knife out of Ashura's grasp and pointing it at Kurogane. "Don't come any closer! Don't get involved o-or I-I'll knock y-you out!"

"Listen to how he stutters," Ashura whispered. "He doesn't mean it, does he? Fai would never hurt you, Kurogane …"

Kurogane chose to block out Ashura's voice and concentrate instead on Fai. He stepped forward slowly, cautiously, staring at Fai all the while. The blond's hands shook as he followed Kurogane's movements with his eyes.

"S-stop," he pleaded. "Turn around and walk away, Kurogane … you've seen how my family has fallen apart! Everyone that gets close to us … everyone dies …"

"Fifteen years …" The chilling voice slid through the air. "He's already doomed to die, Fai. You've known him for fifteen years …"

By the time Kurogane was close enough to touch Fai, the blond was trembling so badly he couldn't knock Kurogane out even if he wanted to.

"Give me the knife, Fai," Kurogane encouraged him quietly. "Give me the knife …"

"Kill me now, Fai!" Ashura demanded. "Kill me; fulfill my wish like you promised!"

Fai wavered uncertainly and loosened his grip on the knife.

Kurogane saw his opportunity and lunged forward, snatching the knife from Fai's hands as he had snatched a cup from them not too long ago. He dove around Fai and lunged for Ashura, plunging the knife into his heart.

Ashura's insane laughter rang around the cold, empty halls of Ruval, and Kurogane felt chilled as his eyes met Ashura's cold ones.

Fai let out a strangled scream and dropped to Ashura's side. "No … no …" he whimpered pathetically.

"Ah, Fai …" Ashura reached up and cupped Fai's face. "Don't waste your tears on someone like me, Fai. I'm not worth it …"

"W-why, Ashura-san?" Fai whispered, grabbing his guardian's hand. "Why did this happen?"

"I can't hear the demons in my head anymore," Ashura murmured, ignoring Fai's question. "They're finally quiet … finally gone. I've finally silenced them!"

"Ashura-san …" Fai gripped the pale hand with all his strength. "Ashura-san!"

With a last demented chuckle, Ashura grabbed the knife sticking out of his chest and pulled it out; the red blood splattered everywhere. He looked at Kurogane, light fading quickly from his eyes, and said, "You'll take care of him, won't you?"

"Of course," Kurogane replied. "Always."

"No … Ashura-san! Ashura!" Fai screamed after the man drew his last breath. For a few moments, his voice echoed eerily. Hesitantly, Kurogane stepped forward and put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'll call the police," Kurogane told him. Fai nodded, his eyes still fixed on the man that had raised him.

After Kurogane made the call, he returned to Fai's side. "I told them what happened."

Fai spun around frantically. "Did you say-"

"No," Kurogane cut in. "I said Ashura-san killed himself."

Fai sagged against Kurogane. "Good." Kurogane put a steadying around Fai's shoulders and the blond turned to bury his face in Kurogane's black shirt.

"You should have told me sooner," Kurogane scolded him.

"I know." Kurogane could feel Fai's warm breath on his chest. Fai looked up, his blue eyes glittering with tears, though none fell, and his eyes seemed so sad, so lonely, that Kurogane pressed his forehead against Fai's and held him close. As if ashamed, Fai closed his eyes and repeated, "I know."

"I would have helped," Kurogane told him.

"I know!" Fai said in anguish, backing away. "But can't you see? It's like I'm cursed … everything I touch dies; all my relatives are dead!"

Kurogane folded his arms and glared at Fai. "I don't believe in curses, and you shouldn't either. We make our own luck."

Fai shook his head sadly and walked away. "I think it would be best if you left me now, Kurogane," he suggested, his voice light.

"Didn't you hear me earlier?" Kurogane demanded, but Fai wouldn't meet his eyes. "I'll always take care of you." When Fai didn't reply, wrapping his arms around himself like he wished he could disappear, Kurogane sighed in frustration. "What do I have to do to prove it to you? Tie my survival to yours somehow? Cut off my arm? Give up my home, my family, and run away with you?"

Fai let out a little snort of amusement, and Kurogane was glad to see him turn back around. "Cut off your arm for me?"

"Hey, you never know," Kurogane shrugged, grinning. He strode forward until he stood in front of Fai again.

Fai punched him gently on the side of his head. "Stupid. You would never do that."

"If I ever have to prove it to you, I will," Kurogane promised.

Fai looked at him then, as if afraid he was being serious. "Don't."

They were interrupted by a heavy knocking. "Police, open up!" A low voice demanded.

* * *

The next few hours passed in a blur of suspicious looks. They were escorted to the police station and questioned separately; Kurogane stuck mostly to the truth and he knew Fai would too.

At last, they were released, after news had arrived that concluded that Ashura had been holding the knife as he died and that a suicide note had been found. Both Kurogane and Fai had alibis for the time and place of Chii's death: Kurogane had been at school and Fai had been at the motel.

"This is a strange case," the police chief admitted to Kurogane when he came to let him go. "It's not often that someone who wishes to commit suicide would wait for witnesses, but I talked to some of Ashura-san's colleagues at work and they all confirmed that he had been acting strange for months. But why didn't your friend seek help?" He asked.

Kurogane glared back. "He's stupid that way." He exited the station to find Fai waiting for him, his face unhealthily pale and trembling all over. "Didn't anyone take care of you?" Kurogane demanded, immediately offering Fai his jacket.

"It's fine," Fai mumbled, though he took Kurogane's jacket. The black fabric seemed to swallow him up, and combined with the dark sky, gave Fai the appearance of a fading spirit.

"You disgust me," Kurogane sighed, leading Fai to his car. "Don't be such a pushover."

They didn't speak for the most of the car ride, until Kurogane was nearly back at his house.

"Where are we going?" Fai asked in surprise, once he finally noticed his surroundings.

Kurogane shot him a look. "You didn't think of going back there, did you? Even if you wanted to, which I know you don't, I doubt they would let you."

From the dark look on Fai's face, that was exactly what he had been planning on doing. Kurogane pulled into his driveway, parked the car, and nearly dragged Fai out of the car.

"Kurogane!" Tomoyo's shrill voice split the air as she ran out of the house and grabbed him in a hug. "Kurogane, I always knew you would end up in police custody one day," she teased once she had let him go.

"You never said anything like that," Kurogane retorted, resting a large hand on her head.

"Kurogane-kun, Fai-kun," Kendappa greeted them. "I'm glad you're both okay."

"Fai's staying the night," Kurogane informed her. "Maybe the next few nights too, until things settle down."

"Of course," Kendappa agreed easily. She hustled them inside and insisted that they eat and drink something before finally leaving them in peace.

"You can shower first; you know where the bathroom is," Kurogane told Fai. "I'll get you some of my clothes to change into."

Fai nodded and went into the bathroom without another word. Kurogane selected a plain black shirt, boxers, and a pair of his sweats for Fai and waited for the water to turn on before knocking on the door.

"Come in," Fai's voice was muffled by the sound of water. Kurogane opened the door and nearly dropped the clothes.

Fai was completely naked, his back to Kurogane as he bent over and studied the shampoo bottles. Kurogane gaped for a moment before hastily setting the clothes down and turning to face the door.

"You have no dignity," Kurogane snapped.

"Hmmm?" He heard Fai laugh behind him. "What shampoo should I use?"

"Whichever you want, idiot," Kurogane responded huffily. "Do you need anything else?"

"Nope," Fai replied. "I'm fine."

"Don't drown yourself," Kurogane grunted before opening the door and stepping out.

"Kuro-mi, you should trust me more!" Fai called out before the door shut.

"Kurogane, your face is bright red." Kurogane jumped, having not seen his little sister lurking in the hallway by her room. "Ohohoho! Did Kurogane see something he likes?'

"Shut up!" Kurogane shouted, aware of Tomoyo's smug look, and strode back to his room. "The room was really hot, okay?"

"I doubt the room was the only thing you thought was hot," Tomoyo sniggered. Kurogane slammed his door shut with a groan.

* * *

Fai opened his door nearly an hour later, his hair dark and dripping. "Kuro-mi?"

Kurogane looked up at him from where he had been leaning against the wall, thinking. "What is it?"

"Are you okay? You're just sitting in the dark," Fai said worriedly, flipping the light switch on. Kurogane squinted a bit until his eyes adjusted.

"You're not wearing a shirt," Kurogane informed Fai, challenging himself to keep his eyes on Fai's face.

Fai smirked. "I know, Kuro-mi. I didn't want to put it on until I dried my hair."

"Well, hurry up and dry it then," Kurogane grumbled. "You shouldn't be wandering around half naked."

Fai entered his room, closing the door behind him. He came and sat in front of Kurogane, toweling his hair as he spoke. "I … wanted to say something."

"Then say it." Kurogane stared at him expectantly.

Fai laughed lightly and flashed Kurogane a smile, but dropped it when he saw the scowl on Kurogane's face. "I just wanted to say …" But he stopped, unsure whether or not to go on.

"There's no need to thank me," Kurogane replied bluntly.

"But … you've done so much for me." Fai's hands played nervously with the towel that now lay in his lap, inactive.

"But you didn't ask me to," Kurogane reminded him. "So you owe me nothing, not even your gratitude. I did it because I wanted to."

Fai smiled weakly. "Kuro-mi is so sure of himself all the time."

Kurogane grunted. As his gaze strayed down to Fai's chest, marveling at how smooth his skin looked, he thought that Fai was the only one who could still unsettle him, after all these years. "Hurry up with that hair."

"Yes, sir!" Fai giggled and raised the towel to his head again.

Kurogane saw it then: a thin, faded scar, starting below Fai's ribs and extending to nearly his hipbone on his left side. Although Fai's entire body was covered in small scars from the car accident that had killed his father, this one was nearly completely straight, which suggested only one thing.

"You never told me you had surgery before," Kurogane said quietly.

"What do you mean, Kuro-mi?" The smile was back, but Kurogane noticed that as Fai crossed his arms, his right hand completely covered up the scar. "I've never had surgery before."

Kurogane shook his head. "You and your secrets."

"It's nothing, okay, Kuro-mi?" Fai stood and walked away. "I'm going to go ask Tomoyo-chan where the hairdryer is."

Kurogane was left in his room, head full of unanswered questions, the most prominent one being: _What is it that I feel about Fai?_

* * *

Kurogane woke up to the sound of footsteps padding down the hall towards his room. Stumbling up, he opened the door to admit Fai, whose hand had been poised to knock.

"What?" He asked, rather grumpily.

"I can't sleep," Fai explained, hugging himself again. "Can I sleep in your room?"

"Sleeping bag's in the closest," Kurogane muttered before returning to his bed. He heard rustling as Fai located the sleeping bag and laid it out.

"Good night, Kuro-mi."

"Just go to sleep. Maybe when you wake up, you'll remember my name."

Kurogane fell asleep to the sound of Fai's gentle laughter.

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months)**

The doctor is talking to Kurogane, and now he knows where that scar came from.

He knows what he can do to save Fai.

Kurogane argues with the doctor for a while about proper procedure, finally tossing the annoying man his wallet. The doctor opens it hesitantly, flipping through all the pictures, then makes a small note on his clipboard.

He nods at Kurogane to follow him, and Kurogane gives Fai's hand one last squeeze before he exits the room.

He will save Fai, no matter what.

* * *

**A/N** - 3 CHAPTERS LEFT GUYS. The next one is probably my personal fave and it's _long_.

As for this chapter - eh, I don't have much to say. I don't like what happened to Ashura in this fic - but I feel like it needed to happen? idek =/ This is Yuuko's last appearance and I randomly stuck Sorata in there for a cameo, because he's kind of awesome like that 3

Uh, I'm not really coherent today, so I'll just shut up now. But first - a huuuuuge thank you to everyone who's been reading, and an extra thanks goes to my reviewers =) I'm writing for you!


	24. Evening

**Evening (17 Years and 8 Months Old)**

_March 25-27, 18: 17 Years and 3 Months Old_

"I can't believe it," Himawari whispered, wiping her tears off her cheeks, although they were soon replaced by fresh ones. Souma nodded in understanding. "I can't believe after all these years together, we're finally parting ways."

"Don't cry, Himawari-chan!" Watanuki sprang to her side and took her hands into his own. "We'll see each other whenever we can, and if you ever get lonely or need someone to talk to, you can always call me, okay? I'll always be here for you, Himawari-chan!" He finished earnestly, thrusting his arm into the air in a grand gesture and nearly knocking their teacher out as he walked by.

"Watanuki-san!" The teacher snapped, straightening his glasses. "Control yourself!"

Himawari giggled. "You're so funny, Watanuki-kun."

Watanuki beamed. Doumeki came up from behind Watanuki and nodded at her. "Kunogi-chan," he said solemnly. "That smile suits you more than the tears."

"Thank you, Shizuka-kun." Himawari smiled gently at him.

Watanuki swelled up and turned around to prod Doumeki in the chest. "Where did you come from and just why do you think you can tell Himawari-chan she doesn't look good in everything? Himawari-chan is the cutest girl there is!"

Himawari blushed. "You're always so kind, Watanuki-kun."

Watanuki puffed his chest out proudly and turned back around. "Anything for you, Himawari-chan. I'm sorry you have to endure this idiot's company!"

"I came to ask if you wanted to look at the corsages and boutonnières after school today," Doumeki informed Watanuki.

"Corsages and …" Watanuki frowned. "Don't couples usually go to pick them out together?"

The other five stared at him expectantly.

"…Oh." Watanuki was stunned into a rare moment of silence. " …** Oooh.**"

Himawari, Souma, and Fai all burst into laughter. Kurogane twitched slightly, trying to repress his grin.

"I'll meet you at your locker at three." Doumeki left, as seemingly emotionless as ever, although Kurogane could have sworn he saw what seemed like the beginning of a smirk on his face.

"Just you wait a minute!" Watanuki yelled, finger pointed threateningly at Doumeki again. The taller teenager paused, although he didn't turn to face him. "Where did you get the idea that I, the great Watanuki-sama, was going to go to prom with you!"

Doumeki spoke calmly. "Aren't you?"

Watanuki seemed to lose some of his steam for a moment, before gathering himself up and magnifying his voice even more. "Well, since the great Watanuki-sama is having a rare moment of pity for the lonely and pathetic Doumeki, he **might **consent to going to prom with him!"

Doumeki started walking again. "I thought so."

"Wait!" Watanuki rushed after him. "I'll be expecting a limo! And you better bow with the proper amount of respect when you come pick me up!"

The four remaining teens chuckled. "Speaking of prom dates …" Souma said slyly. She shared a glance with Himawari and they started to follow Watanuki and Doumeki. Souma nudged Kurogane as she passed him.

Fai stared after them, confusion evident on his face. "What did she mean by that, Kuro-rin?"

Kurogane could feel a blush starting to bloom on his face already. With Fai looking at him expectantly, he cleared his throat and talked to the wall.

"Tomoyo would be thrilled if we went to prom together," he told the wall gruffly. "She would be delighted if we let her design what we wear, too. Actually, she kind of already designed it and made it since you know, the prom is tomorrow, and she was absolutely convinced that I would go no matter how many times I told her I wasn't going to but she insisted …" He stopped talking. After moments of silence, he nervously shifted his gaze to Fai, who was looking at him with a slightly mischievous look on his face.

"So Kuro-rin will do whatever Tomoyo-chan asks of him, hmm?" The blond teased, sidling up to Kurogane.

Kurogane decided the wall was more interesting after all. "No," he said quietly.

"What was that, Kuro-rin?" Fai sang loudly. "I didn't hear you!"

"I said no!" Kurogane shouted. "It wasn't really Tomoyo's idea, okay? I just – I don't really-" Kurogane stopped, flustered and unsure what he was trying to say anyway.

Fai giggled and gave Kurogane a hug. "Of course I'll go with you, Kuro-rin. But can I ask Kuro-rin a question?"

"Whatever," Kurogane huffed. He put his arms around Fai's shoulders gently and pulled the other teenager to him.

Fai looked up at him, suddenly serious. "Why, Kurogane? Why would you do this all for me?"

"It's not all for you," Kurogane shot back. "I didn't go through all of that just to make you happy."

Fai smiled briefly. "You know that's not what I mean. I meant everything … from the days in the park … the teasing … all the funerals … Ashura-san … why did you do it all? I never even thanked you; I never told you how much it meant to me."

Kurogane closed his eyes. "Idiot."

"Kurogane, that's not an answer!" Fai said lightly, even though he still used Kurogane's full name.

Kurogane heard muffled giggling coming from somewhere and released Fai to stride over to a nearby door. It was open a crack and he heard frantic footsteps as he got nearer and flung it fully open.

"Tomoyo! Delete that video!"

"Not a chance, dear brother! I got nearly everything you said!"

"Get back here!" Kurogane took off after his sister.

He thought he heard a faint 'thank you' as he tore down the hall.

"Ohohoho!"

"TOMOYO!"

* * *

"Don't wiggle," Tomoyo ordered sternly as she smacked gel into her hand.

Kurogane ducked out of her way when she climbed onto the chair. "I'm not letting you put that stuff into my hair again."

"Come back here!" She stared fiercely at him. "It wasn't that bad last time, was it?"

"It was awful," Kurogane muttered. He stayed where he was. "I'm glad for your help, Tomoyo, but can you stop helping me now?"

Tomoyo sighed and shook her head mournfully. "You'll be sorry, Kurogane, when you see Fai and he's absolutely stunning while you look like you just got out of bed."

"I don't care," Kurogane replied. "My hair is fine!"

Tomoyo had an evil glint in your eye. "If you don't let me fix up your hair, I'll post the video online."

Kurogane gaped at her. "You wouldn't."

"Ohohoho! You know I would!" Tomoyo giggled. Kurogane groaned and stomped back over to where Tomoyo was waiting. He shifted around impatiently as Tomoyo applied the gunk to his hair.

"Perfect," she declared once she was done. "You look perfect."

Kurogane winced at the sight of his hair. "Tomoyo …"

"Hush," she said as she gathered up her stuff. "Okay, now I need about an hour to make sure Fai's ready before you come. So don't come any earlier than that, don't mess up your hair, and make sure you don't forget his boutonnière."

"Yeah, yeah," Kurogane answered as he stared at his hair mournfully.

"One last thing," Tomoyo tossed him something before leaving. "Remember this?"

Kurogane glanced down at the picture frame in his hands. It was a photo from the wedding, just over 7 years ago. He was scowling while Fai beamed at the camera and clung onto his arm.

"Where did you get this?" He called to Tomoyo. "I don't remember this picture."

"I took it while you weren't looking," she replied, already half out the door. "Fai's had it beside his bed, all this time."

Kurogane was stunned and brushed his fingers lightly over the glass. His outfit on that day was very similar to the one he wore now; he was just older now, much older, and this time his jacket was left unbuttoned.

He glanced around his bedroom. It was rather sparse and seemed rather empty, but it was the way Kurogane liked it. It was almost completely void of personal touches except for the small bundle of blue ribbons that he kept on his bookshelf, accumulated over years' worth of Valentine's Days.

"Kurogane-kun!" Kendappa's voice startled him out of his thoughts. "I want to take some pictures of you!"

"Tomoyo's going to take plenty of pictures," Kurogane grumbled, although he went downstairs anyway.

He endured a couple of flashes before Kendappa set aside the camera and smiled at him. "You have a good time tonight, you hear me?"

Kurogane started to retort but Kendappa kept on talking. "Fai has been through so much and I'm very proud of you for all of the support you've given that boy."

Kurogane mumbled something about how the idiot was always falling and relying on Kurogane to catch him.

"At least he has always picked himself up," Kendappa said, shaking her head. "I worry about him sometimes."

"He's just an idiot," Kurogane muttered.

"Well, anyway, you better get going," Kendappa advised him. "You don't want to be late for your first date!"

Kurogane blushed. "We're not really-"

"I don't want to hear it! Have fun!" Kendappa said cheerfully as she shooed Kurogane out the door.

Somewhat amused, Kurogane got into his car, grabbing Fai's boutonnière on the way out. He drove quickly until he pulled into the impressive driveway of the Ruval Estate.

After ringing the doorbell, he heard thumping footsteps dashing towards him. The door was opened by Tomoyo, who was squealing already with excitement.

"Fai-kun! Your date's here!" She trilled. Following her gaze, Kurogane saw Fai descending the stairs. He too was dressed like seven years ago, except now his jacket also hung open, revealing a nearly see-through dress shirt that clung to him.

"Kuro-rin's bright red already," Fai teased, putting his hands on his hips once he stood in front of Kurogane. "I wonder what color he'll be when he sees the hotel room?"

"Hotel room?" Kurogane repeated, dumbstruck.

"Well of course," Fai pouted. "Tomoyo-chan told me you hadn't booked one, so I had to do it, even though it's supposed to be your job."

"I didn't think-" Kurogane started to say, mind churning with various images. If anyone had asked him if the images involved Fai half-dressed, he would have denied the accusations. Vehemently.

"Silly Kuro-rin," Fai leaned forward and stood on his toes, so that his face nearly touched Kurogane's. "I was just teasing." Then he giggled. "Red looks so good on you, Kuro-rin."

"Don't tease about stuff like that!" Kurogane snapped, blushing more. "How am I supposed to know?"

Fai just laughed and pecked Kurogane on the cheek. "Shall we take some pictures, Tomoyo-chan?"

"Boutonnières first!" She reminded them. Kurogane noticed with a groan that she had been filming this entire time.

"Hyuu ~" Fai fake-whistled softly as he pinned Kurogane's boutonnière, a red rose, on him. Kurogane, in turn, pinned a white rose on Fai's jacket.

"Don't make that stupid sound," Kurogane muttered, with nothing else to say.

"Come on Kuro-rin, smile!" Fai beamed at him. He grudgingly let Tomoyo take a few photos before dragging Fai out the door.

Once they were alone in the car, Kurogane was aware of the awkward silence that gaped between them. Chancing a glance at Fai, he saw the blond staring out of his window, seemingly lost in thought.

"Hey," he said, and Fai turned to look at him, fixing a smile back in place. "What's wrong?"

Fai sighed. "Why do you always think something is wrong, Kuro-rin?"

"Whenever you get that look on your face, I know something is wrong," Kurogane replied, staring at the road. "You can't hide it from me."

After a long silence, Fai whispered quietly, "I know."

Kurogane glanced at him sharply. It was the first time he had heard the other admit that the smiles were nothing more than a façade.

"I was thinking," Fai said, his gaze wandering to the window again. "About all the goodbyes that we'll have to say."

Kurogane reached out hesitantly and put his hand on Fai's knee. He felt the other stiffened suddenly at his touch and he made to withdraw, but Fai's hand caught his wrist.

"Sorry," he apologized, his fingers cold against Kurogane's warm skin. "You just startled me, that's all."

"No, I'm just-" Kurogane stopped again, slightly frustrated that he could no longer voice his own thoughts. He no longer knew what he wanted, and he cursed the weakness that came with indecision.

But Fai tugged on his wrist and he put his hand back down, resting it lightly on Fai's knee, and Fai kept his hand on top of Kurogane's. It was nothing more than a small gesture, but Kurogane's heart fluttered annoyingly.

"Let's not worry about the goodbyes tonight," he said gruffly, trying to hide his blush. "Let's just live in the present."

"Yes," Fai agreed easily, but Kurogane noticed that he turned his face again towards the window and the passing rows of houses.

They said nothing more for the rest of the trip, but Kurogane was aware of the warmth of Fai's leg below his hand, and the coolness of the hand above his.

* * *

Fai seemed to visibly shake himself when they pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. They both climbed out and scanned the crowd for their friends. Fai sneakily snaked his arm around Kurogane's waist; in return, Kurogane put his arm around Fai's shoulder and cursed the fact that he blushed so easily.

"Who gave you permission to touch me!" Watanuki's screech rose in the late afternoon air. "Don't you just put your hands on the great Watanu- MMMPH!"

Kurogane and Fai found them just in time to see Doumeki plant a firm kiss on a flailing Watanuki's lips.

"You're so loud," Doumeki intoned. Watanuki gaped at him, speechless for once, his face a bright red.

"Hyuu hyuu ~" Fai laughed, along with Himawari and Souma, who were both already there.

"Fai-kun, Kurogane-kun, you both look stunning," Himawari gushed, her purple dress sparkling in the sun. Her hands were covered in matching violet gloves and her curly hair cascaded around her shoulders.

"You're as lovely as ever, Himawari-chan," Fai complimented her. "And you too, Souma-chan!" Souma was wearing a simple dress that flowed from gold to black.

"Himawari-chan always looks lovely," Watanuki chirped in, his voice a few notches lower than usual and a dazed look still in his eye.

Doumeki tugged on his arm. "Mine."

Watanuki snapped out of his daze quickly enough to swat Doumeki away and proclaim loudly, "The great Watanuki-sama does not belong to anyone, much less a lowly, idiotic, emotionless creature such as- MMMPH!"

"Too loud," Doumeki muttered once he detached their lips. Watanuki flushed again and opened his mouth, only to close it again.

"Come on," he huffed, walking into the restaurant. The five others trailed after him obediently, muffling various stages of amusement.

The six of them together filled a table with chatter and laughter. Kurogane found himself smiling and nodding at something Souma said, while Doumeki's lips curled upwards ever so slightly as he watched Watanuki, who was steadily ignoring him.

All too soon, the sun had set and the food was gone, and people had started getting up and leaving to go to the dance.

"Should we go now too?" Himawari asked, her eyes flickering around the table.

"Alright," Fai agreed, and everyone else contributed their own murmurs of consent.

"Wait," Kurogane said suddenly. His friends all froze in place and looked at him questioningly.

Fai placed his hand on Kurogane's shoulder. "What is it, Kuro-rin?"

Kurogane looked at all of them, with the sun burning at his back as it set.

Souma, with her tanned skin and the way she never hesitated to argue with Kurogane about what was right and what was wrong, because she knew who she was and where she was going in the world.

Himawari, with the kind smile she always wore, and always wore honestly, because she was truly a kind person.

Watanuki, who had forgotten to be upset with Doumeki for a moment because he was staring at Kurogane, puzzled, even though he was nearly always upset with Doumeki because that was the way he showed his affection and his gratefulness that he was no longer alone.

Doumeki, who always solid and never changing and always just there, who had the ability to understand others so completely even when he himself never tried to burden others with his problems.

Kurogane was hit with a wave of nostalgia so profound that he closed his eyes for a moment and slumped a bit.

"Kuro-rin?" Fai's voice sounded worried. Lifting his head up again, Kurogane mentally scolded himself for being an emotional hypocrite. He stood up and gave everyone a nod.

"It's nothing," he said, glaring at them until they looked away and collected their things and prepared to leave.

Fai pulled on his sleeve. "What is it?"

Kurogane was silent for a moment. "Nothing."

He didn't miss how Fai pouted a bit and looked a little hurt, so he put his hand on Fai's head and stroked his hair. "Don't worry about it."

They all walked together, chattering, towards the three cars that belonged to different members of their party. Kurogane trailed slightly behind, with Fai at his side. Fai slipped his arm around Kurogane's waist again and Kurogane pulled the blond closer to him.

Fai looked at him in surprise. "Kuro-rin isn't usually like this."

"This is our first date, idiot. You wouldn't know what I'm usually like on dates," Kurogane snapped, but he knew that Fai noticed the lack of conviction behind his words when his eyes seemed to dim slightly with worry.

"Is Kuro-rin sick?" Fai reached up to press his hand against Kurogane's forehead. "You don't have a fever …"

"I was just thinking," Kurogane said quietly, cursing his weakness. "Of all the goodbyes that we'll have to say."

Fai smiled sadly. "Let's just live in the present, hmmmm, Kuro-rin?"

"Don't throw my own words back at me," Kurogane grumbled. Fai only laughed.

"Hurry up, you two!" Souma barked at them. Kurogane growled back, but they picked up their pace to catch up with the rest of the group.

"What's this?" He asked, surprised, when he saw what was waiting for them.

"I reserved it awhile ago," Doumeki said, holding up the keys to the limo.

"Without telling any of us!" Watanuki glared at him.

"It was supposed to be a surprise," the other boy answered mildly.

"Let's go!" Fai said enthusiastically, grabbing Kurogane's hand and opening the door closest to the back of the limo. They both clambered in, while the girls sat together in the middle and Doumeki took the driver's seat. Watanuki, after a great deal of ranting, finally conceded to sitting next to Doumeki and keeping him company.

They soon arrived at the hotel where the dance was being held. Fai led the way cheerfully to the ballroom, which was full of bodies pressed against each other in fancy clothes as everyone danced and rejoiced their upcoming graduation. The music throbbed in the air and seemed the shake the walls, as loud as it was. Kurogane doubted this was the kind of dance the ballroom was used to holding.

After much pleading and begging and generally being annoying, Fai finally convinced Kurogane to dance with him. As Fai swayed his hips in front of Kurogane and Kurogane bobbed his head reluctantly to the music, he was struck again by the sense that Fai was still so far out of his reach; he was so mysterious and fond of his secrets that Kurogane doubted he really even knew Fai. But there was just wasn't enough time left; Fai hadn't told him yet where he was going for university but Kurogane already knew that it would be somewhere far away, much like Himawari and Souma.

"Come on, Kuro-rin! It's your last high school dance!" Fai shouted in his ear. "Move that booty!"

"… No."

"Awww, Kuro-rin, don't be such a party pooper …" Fai pouted.

The song slowed and flowed into a new one, this one much slower. The mass began to break up and couples dominated the dance floor, swaying in time to the music. Watanuki seemed to be arguing with himself about whether or not Doumeki was worthy while the said teenager waited patiently beside him. Himawari and Souma had both found boys to dance with.

Fai looped his arms around Kurogane's neck and pulled him close. When Kurogane hesitated, unsure what to do, Fai took his hands and placed them on his waist. Once Kurogane was in place, Fai reached up again and held onto Kurogane, tilting his head forward so that it rested against Kurogane's chest.

Kurogane gently pulled Fai even closer, moving his hands to the slender blond's back and pressing their bodies together. He rested his chin on Fai's head, the golden locks tickling him, and they spun in circles lazily, as if they had all the time in the world.

* * *

Kurogane eyed the loud crowd with a certain amount of distaste. A few hours at the dance had left him with a throbbing headache, sore feet, and the desire to go somewhere quiet.

Right on cue, Doumeki appeared with Watanuki draped over his shoulder, protesting loudly. "I think we should leave now."

Kurogane nodded gratefully and waded into the mob to grab Fai, who was talking to some girls from his homeroom. "Doumeki says it's time for us to go," he yelled into his date's ear.

"It's only midnight!" Fai protested. No doubt seeing the steely glint in Kurogane's eyes, he sighed and sulked quietly by himself.

Kurogane scanned the crowd. "Have you seen Himawari-chan and Souma-chan?"

Fai peered into the mass as well. "Give me a sec."

Before Kurogane had a chance to protest, Fai wiggled away and slipped through the crowd. He reappeared only minutes later with both Himawari, who had lost her gloves somewhere, and Souma. Kurogane led them all outside, where Doumeki waited by the limo.

"We need to go back to restaurant to get our cars," Kurogane told him.

Doumeki gave him a strange look. "Don't you want to do that in the morning?"

Kurogane frowned. "Why would I wait until morning?"

"Well, we made reservations for four rooms at that expensive resort, didn't we?"

Kurogane spun around and grabbed Fai's shoulders. "I thought that was a joke!"

Fai giggled. "Oops."

Kurogane stared at him in horror, with a little bit of nervous apprehension.

"Come now, Kuro-rin, you wouldn't want to waste my money, would you?" Fai trailed a finger down Kurogane's face and gave him another peck on the cheek.

Kurogane growled. "Okay, we'll go, but don't you dare get your hopes up! There are certain things that just don't happen on a first date, even if it is the prom!"

"Kuro-rin is so chivalrous!" Fai said happily as he climbed into the backseat of the limo.

"Whatever," Kurogane muttered as he followed.

* * *

The suite that was reserved for them was, Kurogane had to admit, fairly impressive. It held two bedrooms, a living room of a sort, a small kitchen, and two bathrooms, as well as a balcony that hung 17 stories off the ground.

After they both dumped their jackets and ties on the couch and Kurogane stuck his head under the tap in the sink for long enough to rinse out all the gel, Kurogane and Fai stood in front of the door to one of the bedrooms. They had both looked inside to find only a single king sized bed in both of them.

Fai gave Kurogane a sly grin and gestured for him to speak first.

Kurogane cleared his throat needlessly and was about to say something when he was interrupted by a knocking on his door. Thankful for whoever the visitor was, he opened the door to find Himawari, Souma, Watanuki, conscious once more, and Doumeki all waiting in the hall.

"Neither of us wanted to sleep alone," Himawari explained, holding Souma's hand with the innocence of a little girl.

Kurogane nodded and then at looked at Doumeki.

"The idiot thought I was going to rape him."

Kurogane nodded again and beckoned them in.

"HEY! Don't just nod like that's perfectly acceptable!" Watanuki shouted as he flailed into the room. As usual, he was ignored.

The two other males had also taken off their ties and their jackets, while the girls had both changed into more loose, comfortable clothing.

"It – it feels like the end, doesn't it?" Himawari asked, tears glinting in her eyes.

"We have to live in the present," Fai said, before Watanuki could respond. He met Kurogane's eyes and smiled.

"Yes, yes, of course," Himawari smiled bravely.

But no one stopped once they started talking about the memories.

"Remember the time when Watanuki-kun climbed the apple tree …"

"… Himawari-chan wanted an apple, so I was determined to get one for her!"

"Except you fell."

"SHUT UP, IDIOT! I was testing gravity!"

"And Kuro-rin got the apple in the end!" Fai cheered, clinging onto Kurogane's arm.

"That was nothing," Kurogane said, smiling slightly. "Nothing compared to what Doumeki-kun did on that class trip, anyway."

"You mean when Watanuki-kun passed out and Doumeki-kun carried him around for the rest of the day?"

"He was heavy."

"IDIOT! No one asked you to carry me around! I would have been perfectly fine without knowing that your filthy hands had touched me!"

"Remember that other class trip, when we all went to the beach …"

"… and the one where we went ice skating!"

"Souma-chan and Himawari-chan both couldn't skate though …"

"But Himawari-chan was just delightful as she tried so hard!"

"Watanuki-kun, you're so kind …"

"Mine."

"What did I say before about – MMMPH!"

"Watanuki-kun never learns …"

"So loud."

"Remember when he challenged Doumeki-kun to a staring contest?"

"Oh yeah, that was funny!"

"I won."

"You did not! My eyelid twitched, that's all!"

So they went on, reminiscing throughout the night. Watanuki left for a few minutes, sometime in the early morning hours, to return with a bottle of sake that they all shared.

* * *

Kurogane woke up when he sensed movement. He and Fai had finally fallen asleep in one bed, Doumeki and Watanuki in another, and Himawari and Souma had shared the pullout couch.

The two of them had stumbled into bed, barely able to keep their eyes open, pausing just long enough to throw aside excessive clothing. Kurogane had mumbled a goodnight, only to be interrupted midway by a light pressure on his lips – but when he realized what Fai had just done, the blond had already curled up against him and fallen asleep. Sighing, Kurogane had draped an arm over his companion and held him close. He had closed his eyes and buried his face in the golden hair turned silver in the moonlight.

Kurogane's eyes adjusted quickly to the dim light the moon provided and he promptly concluded that Fai had left the room. Opening the door quietly and padding through the kitchen, he saw Fai standing outside on the balcony. From this distance, he could almost imagine that Fai was completely unblemished by scars.

"I hope you're not thinking of jumping." Kurogane's voice seemed to startle Fai, as he started and spun around.

"Kuro-rin! You're awake!" He smiled up at the taller boy. Kurogane simply crossed his arms and glared. Fai's smile faltered for a moment before he dropped it completely. "No, I wasn't thinking of jumping."

Kurogane walked outside and stood with Fai on the balcony. "What are you doing up?"

Fai shrugged. "I couldn't sleep and didn't want to disturb you … You seemed peaceful."

Kurogane snorted. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Kuro-rin always looks so scary all the time," Fai explained, a twinkle in his eye.

"Kurogane," he replied, though he had long ago associated Fai saying his full name with bad news.

"What does Kuro-rin say to watching the sunrise with me?" Fai asked, moving towards Kurogane to bury his face in his chest again.

"You can't watch anything if you're doing that." Kurogane stroked Fai's hair. The blond strands slid easily through and around his fingers, much like Fai himself.

Fai giggled and stood on his toes to give Kurogane a kiss, one that lasted a while before they both came up seeking air.

"The sun is coming up," Kurogane said. A faint band of pink was visible on the horizon. They watched it rise together, Fai sitting in Kurogane's lap and Kurogane holding him as if he was trying to protect Fai from all the horrors of the world with his own body.

When the golf course and small lake their balcony hung over was stained orange, Fai spoke again. "No matter how sad the night is, dawn always comes again, hmmm, Kuro-rin?"

"I thought the night was beautiful," Kurogane said. Fai looked at him strangely. "Your hair looks beautiful in the moonlight."

Fai blushed, the color standing out strongly in contrast to his pale cheeks.

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months)**

Kurogane wakes up to the sound of beeping.

"You're doing perfectly fine," the nurse by his bedside tells him cheerfully. "The operation was a success and Yuui-san is recovering too. His bed is right over there. You had a couple of visitors, but since you were both still sleeping I sent them away."

Kurogane stares at her for a moment. "Yuui?"

The nurse looks at him, confused. "Isn't that his name?"

Kurogane gets up and staggers across the room, ignoring the nurse's concerned questions. He looks at the bed and confirms to himself that it is indeed Fai.

He reaches out and runs his hand through the blonde hair.

_You lied even about your name?_

* * *

**A/N** - Whew, that was long. I hope it didn't seem to drag out unnecessarily, but I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. Goodbye are always sad, but it's good knowing that at least you have something that's worth being sad about when you're leaving it behind (or something. /fail attempt at being deep).

Also, a HUGE THANK YOU TO ALL OF MY READERS AND REVIEWERS FOR OVER 100 REVIEWS! You guys are too good to me =')

On a related note, I'm sorry if there are a few reviews that are lacking replies - there was the whole log-in issue earlier this week, then ff decided to reset all my alerts to disabled again, and I didn't notice until today =(


	25. Farewell

**Farewell (17 Years and 8 Months Old; Part II)**

_March 30-April 1, 18: 17 Years and 3 Months Old_

Kurogane accepted his diploma with a bow and shook his teacher's hand firmly, looking out into the audience where Kendappa and Tomoyo were sitting, knowing that they would want to take pictures of this moment.

After being blinded by the flash, Kurogane made his way backstage to find Himawari, Souma, Doumeki, and Fai all waiting for him. Out of their group, only Watanuki remained to receive his diploma.

"Congratulations, Kuro-rin!" Fai cheered as he flung himself at Kurogane, who dodged him skillfully.

"It's hardly worthy of congratulations," Kurogane retorted. "Everyone passed."

Fai waved his hand dismissively. "High school graduation is an important part of everyone's path of life!"

"We're all off to university now," Himawari said, her voice wavering.

"Yeah." Kurogane didn't complain as Fai hugged him. When the blond tried to pull away, he kept his arms around him and held him close. "It's time for us to say goodbye."

He looked down, but Fai had his face buried in his boyfriend's chest.

* * *

When they all left the school for the last time, a strange mixture of sorrowful looks and cheerful smiles passed between them. The six of them paused at the gates and turned to look at the imposing building behind them.

"It doesn't feel real," Himawari whispered, nearly on the verge of tears again. "I can't believe we're really never coming back."

"We'll stay in touch." Even Watanuki was quiet as he tried to comfort Himawari, as if the importance of the moment had left him stunned. "I'll always be here for you, whenever you need me, even if you're so far away."

The rest of them added their own comments, most of them along the same vein as Watanuki's.

"Souma-chan's leaving too," Fai said, smiling gently at her. Unlike Himawari, Souma's eyes were clear. Knowing her, she had taken it all in stride and would continue to face the world, chin up and a challenge in her eyes.

"I'll visit," she promised. "As often as I can."

"Me too," Himawari sniffed. "Whenever I get the chance."

"What about you?" Kurogane asked Fai. He had a smile glued to his face, which was never a good thing. "You still haven't even told us where you're going."

"North," Fai replied softly. "The University of Celes. It's known for its psychology program."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Kurogane demanded, annoyed.

Fai looked away, hiding his eyes. "I … I didn't want to say goodbye."

"You'll come back and visit though, right?" Himawari asked, her eyes shining.

"Of course," Fai answered, still smiling. Kurogane narrowed his eyes but didn't say anything.

Himawari reached out took Watanuki's right hand in her left and Souma's left in her right. Taking her lead, Souma took Fai's hand and then he took Kurogane's with his free hand. Doumeki had already taken Watanuki's other hand. Kurogane looked at him. Doumeki met his eyes.

The others all noticed and made no attempt to hide their amusement.

"Come on!" Fai cheered loudly. "You can do it!"

"They're just too manly to hold hands, I except," Souma smirked.

"Don't be such an idiot and just get it over with, you useless lump!" Watanuki screeched at Doumeki.

Doumeki's mouth twitched upwards a bit. "Shall we?"

Kurogane shook his head and grinned, holding his hand out. Doumeki took it and closed the circle. They stood together for a moment, no one sure what to say.

"Let's all make a promise," Himawari suggested at last. "Let's promise that we'll make the most of the rest of our lives and that we'll always be there for each other if anyone needs it."

"I promise," Souma said immediately.

"I promise too, of course," Himawari followed right after.

"I promise." Watanuki was next, his usually energetic demeanor solemn.

"I promise," Doumeki grunted.

"I promise," Kurogane mumbled next.

He looked at Fai. Fai had dropped his head, letting his hair fall in front of his eyes, and when he spoke, it was barely audible. "I promise."

The circle broke up after that. With a few final goodbyes, everyone except for Kurogane and Fai went their separate ways.

"I'm staying at your place tonight," Kurogane told Fai, tugging him towards his car.

"That's not really necessary, Kuro-rin." Fai shot him a faint look of surprise.

Kurogane opened the door to the driver's door. "My bag's already packed and in the trunk, and I already told Kendappa-san that I won't be home tonight."

Fai smiled faintly but still refused to meet his eyes as he got into the passenger side. "Well, if Kuro-rin puts it that way …"

"I don't want you running away in the middle of the night," Kurogane grumbled as he drove to Ruval.

Fai laughed lightly. "I wouldn't do that!"

"Yes, you would, and we both know that," Kurogane retorted.

The rest of the ride passed in silence.

* * *

The first thing that Kurogane noticed upon stepping into the cold marble halls was that there were several suitcases stacked against the wall.

"Ready to leave?" He asked dryly.

Fai just prodded his cheek. "Why are you so suspicious, Kuro-rin? Himawari-chan and Souma-chan are both leaving tomorrow; so what if I am too?"

"Because neither of them grinned and said it was a surprise whenever they were asked which university they had chosen; neither of them are planning on running away and never coming back," Kurogane retorted.

Fai kept up his smile, even now. "Don't be silly, Kuro-rin!"

Kurogane snorted in disgust. "I know you too well. You can't lie to me."

Still, the smile was fixed firmly in place, although it had become strained. "Perhaps Kuro-rin should go home tonight," Fai suggested coolly.

"No way," Kurogane replied, grabbing Fai's arm and marching him further inside. "I'm not letting you out of my sight."

"Kuro-rin, that hurts!" Fai whined. Kurogane released him, but kept him within his line of sight. "Kuro-rin should be gentler."

"You should be less idiotic," Kurogane retorted. "What did you hope to accomplish by fleeing?"

Fai shrugged wearily. "Maybe it would have been less painful for you."

Kurogane snorted. "Try again."

"Why does it matter?" Fai sighed.

Kurogane grasped Fai's arm again. "Because you're not planning on coming back, are you?"

"Didn't you hear my promise, Kuro-rin?" Fai asked, though his voice lacked the proper level of cheer.

"It's because I heard it that I don't believe it," Kurogane growled. "I know you too well; you're always running away!"

Fai just kept on walking until he reached his room. "You can sleep in any of the guest rooms." Then he slipped into his room and shut the door.

Kurogane snarled in frustration, but he turned and let himself into the room beside Fai's. He dumped his bag on the bed and tried to decide whether or not he should break down Fai's door and try to talk sense into him.

Before he could make up his mind, Fai opened the door and stood in the doorway. "Kuro-rin …"

"Kurogane," he replied automatically. "Get my name right, idiot."

"Kuro-rin," Fai repeated, a small smile spreading on his face. "What would you like for dinner?"

"None of that sweet surgery stuff." Seeing the mischievous look on Fai's face, he promptly started forward. "I'll supervise your cooking."

Fai laughed, and for a moment, it felt like everything was normal between them again. "Kuro-daddy's going to help Fai-mommy in the kitchen tonight!"

"Shut up," he muttered, leading the way through the vast halls.

Once they were there, Fai opened a cupboard and withdrew a bag. "How about pasta?"

"Sure," Kurogane agreed. They worked swiftly together. Kurogane located a pot and filled it up with water to boil. Fai dug around for a jar of tomato sauce then set it aside, casting around in the fridge for fresh vegetables. Kurogane dumped in the noodles and stirred them idly, watching Fai roll up his sleeves and chop up herbs.

When everything was finished, Kurogane took the noodles and served them, carrying to the counter behind him so that Fai could pour on the sauce and sprinkle on the herbs.

"Wait," Kurogane requested. "Go stand out there."

"What are you going to do?" Fai asked, surprised.

"You'll see." Kurogane ushered Fai out and then opened the cupboards in the huge kitchen, searching for anything he could use.

He found some nice plates, coated in a thin layer of dust, over the second sink (why were there even two sinks?). He rinsed them off and went hunting for cutlery, and finally, wine glasses.

"Kuro-rin …" Kurogane spun around from where he was perched precariously on the counter. Fai was standing in one of the entrances to the kitchen, a genuine smile on his face. "This really wasn't necessary."

"I thought it would be nice," Kurogane flushed. "One last meal together."

Fai giggled. "Kuro-rin's really a softie at heart, huh?"

"Shut up," he growled, leaping down from the counter, glasses in hand. "Do you have any good wine?"

"Coming right up!" Fai trilled, skipping away. Kurogane allowed himself a satisfied smirk as he waited for Fai to return.

"I'll be here if you need me …" Kurogane said softly, although there was no one there to hear him. "I promise."

Fai popped his head back in a few minutes later. He had the bottle in one hand and gave it to Kurogane. "Don't open it yet, okay? I want to do something first."

When Kurogane opened his mouth to ask what, Fai silenced him with a kiss. "Nuh uh, Kuro-rin, it's a surprise! You have to wait here!"

Kurogane grinned and settled himself on the counter again. "Hurry up; I'm hungry."

"Kuro-woof will get his nourishment soon!" Fai called out as he exited the kitchen. Kurogane could hear his receding footsteps.

A quarter of an hour later, Fai reappeared, motioning for Kurogane to bring the plates. Kurogane balanced both servings and complied, following Fai through the hallways until he reached a room he never seen before.

"What is this place?" Kurogane asked, unable to help himself staring at the giant chandelier.

"The secondary dining room," Fai replied, smoothing out the tablecloth that he had evidently just laid out. "It used to be used for small gatherings of close friends."

"The secondary dining room," Kurogane repeated. He shook his head in disbelief. "Your house is unnecessarily big, you know that?"

Fai shrugged. "I'm used to it. But what do you think, Kuro-rin?"

Kurogane looked down and noticed the table. It was covered in a deep maroon tablecloth, with candles placed all around it on various locations in the room. "A candlelit dinner?"

Fai nodded enthusiastically. "Normally the table would have fresh flowers on it and stuff … but I couldn't-"

Kurogane had put down the plates and walked up to Fai, covering his mouth in a kiss. "This is fine."

Fai smiled happily up at him. "I'm glad, Kuro-rin."

"Kurogane," he corrected halfheartedly.

Fai just laughed. "Kurogane is just too long!"

"That was somewhat acceptable when we were three," Kurogane informed him. "Not anymore."

"But Kuro-rin would think I didn't love him anymore if I stopped calling him by his nicknames!" Fai protested, poking Kurogane's cheek.

"Hardly," Kurogane retorted, raising a hand to stroke Fai's hair. Fai sighed contentedly and buried his forehead in Kurogane's neck.

The moment was broken by a loud rumbling, followed by Fai's giggling. "Kuro-rin is hungry!"

"Let's eat," Kurogane suggested, gesturing at the two plates side by side.

"You left the wine and cups behind," Fai scolded. "Now I have to go back for them!" He left the room.

"We'll go back for them," Kurogane corrected, falling into place behind Fai. He didn't complain when a slender hand slipped into his.

Reaching the kitchen, Fai snatched up the bottle and a glass, while Kurogane grabbed his own glass and the cutlery he had also left behind. Together, still holding hands, they made their way back to the dining room. Kurogane popped open the wine and poured a glassful for both of them.

"Hyuu," Fai said softly. "This is really nice, Kuro-rin."

"Something to remember me by while you're running," Kurogane told him. Fai just smiled.

"To the memories!" Fai cried, raising his cup in a toast.

"And to making plenty more," Kurogane added. Fai's eyes flashed, but he tipped his cup forward to clink against Kurogane's anyway.

They both dug in. They ate in near silence for the first few mouthfuls, until Fai giggled. "Kuro-rin, are you struggling?"

"No," Kurogane snapped, twirling a strand of spaghetti around his fork. It freed itself and he groaned.

"I'm sure you meant for that to happen, right, Kuro-rin?" Fai teased, laughing.

"Shut up," Kurogane growled. "You should really buy chopsticks."

Fai shook his head. "I will never understand how you can eat using two sticks."

"It's easier," Kurogane retorted.

Fai laughed and twirled his own piece of pasta perfectly. "Open up, Kuro-rin!"

"What are you-" Fai stuffed his fork into Kurogane's mouth. He nearly choked before closing his mouth, so that when Fai withdrew his fork, Kurogane was left with spaghetti. He chewed and swallowed, then glared at Fai. "What was that?"

"I can't have Kuro-rin starve to death!" Fai explained cheerfully as he waved another forkful in front of Kurogane's face. "Open up again!"

Kurogane protested a few more times before giving up. If he tried to argue, Fai just shoved the pasta in while he was talking. He reluctantly let himself be fed for the rest of the meal; Fai seemed to have a great time showing off his spaghetti-twirling skills to him.

Soon, their plates were empty, as was the wine bottle. They went back to the kitchen together to wash the dishes. Kurogane passed all the newly clean and dripping wet dishes to Fai to dry, watching the way his swift hands nimbly manipulated the cloth. After they finished, they put everything back where Kurogane found it all and returned to the dining room to clean up the candles and everything else.

After that, Fai dragged Kurogane around Ruval, digging in several closets until he finally found a sleeping bag and they returned to the guest room Kurogane's bag was resting in.

"I'll stay here tonight too!" Fai announced. Kurogane smirked, about to protest the necessity of a sleeping bag, but Fai tugged on his arm and he was led to a room with a giant TV, sound system, shelves full of music and DVDs, and a fireplace.

Fai fiddled with the fireplace for a bit, until he got a nice blaze going, and then skipped over to where Kurogane waited by the shelves, arms crossed.

"What movie do you want to see, Kuro-rin?" Fai asked, scanning all the titles.

"Doesn't matter to me," Kurogane replied, preferring to watch Fai. The light from the fire danced over his features, casting its glow onto his hair and flickering over his face. "Just nothing romantic and gushy."

Fai pouted, putting down the DVD currently in his hands. He skimmed the shelf again, finally picking another movie after a few minutes. "Let's watch this!"

Kurogane glanced at it, eyebrows raised. "It's a zombie apocalypse movie."

"Exactly!" Fai said cheerfully. He popped the disk into the player and plopped onto the couch. "Let's snuggle, Kuro-rin!"

"So that was your plan, huh?" Kurogane snorted. He joined Fai on the couch and put his arm over the blond's shoulders when Fai rested his head on Kurogane's shoulder.

"Hyuu, it worked!' Fai giggled.

"Shut up and watch the movie," Kurogane growled, blushing.

* * *

"What would you do if that happened to you, Kuro-rin?" Fai asked once the movie was over.

"If what happened to me?" Kurogane removed the DVD and put it back where it came from as Fai extinguished the fire.

"If you were the only human left on Earth," Fai elaborated. "What would you do?"

"He wasn't the last one though," Kurogane pointed out. "He didn't think so either, remember? He would always make those broadcasts."

"But he didn't really believe there was anyone else left," Fai argued. "Not really."

"Of course he did." They left the room, still talking, and walked back to where Kurogane was staying. "He hoped he could bring humanity back."

Fai sighed. "I think I would just kill myself."

Kurogane glared at him. "Why is that your answer to everything?"

"It isn't!" Fai retorted. "But who would want to live all alone, surrounded by zombies?"

"If you can stay alive … wouldn't you want to, if only to try and find a cure?" Kurogane countered.

"Maybe," Fai muttered. "But most people don't deserve saving."

Kurogane shot him a look, but Fai stopped him with a kiss before he could say anything else.

It was something in the kiss that made Kurogane shut up and stop pushing – it had somewhat of a desperate edge to it, as if Fai was trying to make the most of the time they had left.

Kurogane responded in kind, kissing Fai roughly. He broke away to nip at Fai's neck, leaving marks as he traced a trail down his front. Fai pushed him away for a moment to yank off his shirt, and Kurogane continued, concentrated only on the milky skin in front of him and the blue eyes that threatened to drown him.

* * *

"Are you sure about this?"

"… Yes."

"No regrets tonight?"

"I won't regret this."

"Good."

The rest was lost in the moans that echoed throughout the multiple, cold halls of Ruval.

* * *

Kurogane kept his breathing regular as he slowly drifted out of sleep, awakened by Fai's movements.

He was aware of light footsteps that crossed the room to the door. Once Fai left, Kurogane threw off the covers, found some clothes, and followed him.

He shadowed Fai all the way to the entrance hall and watched as the blond donned a jacket and grabbed his first suitcase.

"I knew it." Even though it seemed childish to say, Kurogane felt anger building, most of it directed at Fai and some of it directed at himself.

Fai jerked around. "Kuro-rin! What are you doing here?"

"You should know by now that I don't sleep through anything," Kurogane growled.

Fai chuckled lightly. "I know, Kurogane. Nothing gets past you, huh?"

"Were you just going to walk away? Leave, after what happened tonight?" Kurogane's temper grew until he was almost shouting, fists clenched.

Fai looked at him, eyes cold. "Just let me go, Kurogane."

Kurogane grabbed his arm. "Tell me that what we just did meant nothing to you."

"What do you want from me?" Fai cried, trying but not succeeding in freeing himself from Kurogane's grip.

"Tell me!" Kurogane yelled. "Tell me, and I'll let you go. Tell me that – that having sex, making love, whatever you want to call it, tell me that it meant nothing to you and I'll let go; I'll let you leave and I won't like it; I won't be happy, but I'll let you go. Tell me that all along, I've been nothing to you, and I'll back off."

Fai kept his eyes trained on the ground and Kurogane nearly missed his quiet whisper. "I can't."

"What?" He demanded, a bit more harshly than he intended.

"I can't, okay?" Fai wretched his arm out of his grasp. "I can't tell you that you meant nothing to me! That's the problem, Kurogane! I don't know why you did everything you did for me, out of pity, or what, but you just don't seem to get it!"

"No," Kurogane shouted back. "You don't get it. You never have, because you've always hidden behind your secrets. Whatever happened in your past that's so awful that it still affects everything that you do, whatever it is, it has to stop! You have to let it go and start living in the present."

"That's not so easy for me, Kurogane." Fai's eyes were hard ice as he picked up his suitcases and left.

Still, he hesitated slightly on the doorstep, but Kurogane growled at him. "Don't say goodbye. I don't want to hear it."

"It'll be best if you forgot about me, Kurogane." Fai closed the door with a resounding thud.

After the sound of tires faded, Kurogane muttered quietly to the door, now that there was no one left to hear him, "It's Kuro-rin, idiot."

* * *

Kurogane lifted his bag onto his shoulder and cast a last glance around the room. It was exactly the way he had left it, except for the white rose resting on the night table. Kurogane picked it up and read the note, Fai's handwriting obvious.

_Listen._

He frowned; it was an odd thing to put on a note. Holding the rose lightly in his hand, he stepped out into the hall and strained to hear anything out of place.

The sound soon became evident and he moved swiftly through the halls, bursting into the room where they had watched the movie. The fire was roaring, nearly out of control. Kurogane ran to the kitchen frantically and filled a cup up with water to extinguish the fire with.

Once all that remained were soggy ashes, Kurogane knelt down and picked up a half burnt photo. It was another picture of him and Fai at the wedding, only this time both of them were looking away and Fai was half draped over him. A quick prod in the remains of the fire revealed that Fai had been burning all the pictures of him and Kurogane together. More were scattered around the fire; Kurogane picked them up and stared at them absentmindedly.

His attention was drawn by another white rose, its petals slightly singed, but otherwise undamaged. Another note was attached to it, and this one Kurogane tore up vehemently.

_Forget about me._

"No way." Kurogane gripped the roses so tightly that blood started flowing down his hands where the thorns had pierced him.

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months)**

Kurogane still doesn't understand how Fai could have ever thought that he would forget about him.

He doesn't understand how Fai could still not understand why Kurogane did everything for him.

He doesn't understand Fai at all still, not really.

He hasn't seen the nurse that called him Yuui again, and wonders if he imagined her.

* * *

**A/N** - Who saw that coming? XD I was listening to Skillet - Don't Say Goodbye over and over while writing this, so if you guys want a new angsty song to listen to, look it up XD

I hope you guys aren't too upset with me, haha. One last chapter! =)

ps, sathreal, I'm working on your prompt ;D


	26. Meeting

**Meeting (21 Years and 4 Months Old)**

_December 5, 21: 20 Years and 11 Months Old_

"Kuro-rin!"

Kurogane groaned. "It's Kurogane, you idiot." But unknown to Fai, he grinned at the sound of the nickname he thought Fai had taken with him to the north years ago, to be buried forever under ice and snow.

"Kuro-rin is still just as grumpy as ever, I see." Fai's laughter rang oddly over the phone.

"He's gotten even worse ever since you left," Tomoyo's voice sounded.

"TOMOYO!" Kurogane shouted. "Don't just listen in on my phone conversations!"

"I want to talk to him too!" Tomoyo whined.

"Then talk to him later," Kurogane snapped. He waited for the click that would tell him Tomoyo had hung up.

"Fine," his little sister sighed loudly. "I'll just leave you two alone to say romantic and sweet things to each other then." She hung up, but Kurogane could hear her laughter from down the hall. "Ohohoho!"

"Tomoyo-chan doesn't sound like she's changed much," Fai remarked, clearly amused. "Where is she studying now?"

"She's just a few hours' drive away," Kurogane told him. "She usually comes back on weekends."

"Studying fashion design, right?" Fai asked.

"Yeah. She's already got some people interested in her work, and she's set up her own little business at the university."

"That's good."

There was a silence on the line for a moment, before Kurogane spoke again, his voice flat and carefully blank. "Of course, you wouldn't know any of that, since you disappeared off the face of the earth three and a half years ago."

Kurogane had the feeling that even though they were talking on the phone, Fai had plastered a fake smile on. "Sorry, Kuro-rin, but classes and everything have been so busy; I haven't had any time to call or anything …"

"Three and a half years," Kurogane repeated slowly. "You could have come back to visit at any time, or called me, or even turned on your phone for ten seconds to text me back."

Fai remained silent for a moment. "I thought I told you to forget about me, Kurogane."

"Why's that?" Kurogane demanded.

Fai hesitated a bit before speaking. "I … didn't want to hurt you. I never wanted to get close to anyone. Everyone that gets involved with me always ends up getting hurt, one way or another."

"Idiot," Kurogane said softly. "You're so, so idiotic."

Fai chuckled bitterly. "You always say that."

"Because it's true!" Kurogane snapped. "How worried do you think everyone was when you failed to answer phone calls and emails? You never came back to visit, never once got in touch with any of us! Himawari-chan cried, last New Year, when everyone gathered again – everyone except for you!"

"What about the others?" Fai kept his voice light, although Kurogane could hear the slight tremors. "What did you tell them?"

"Souma-chan thinks you've replaced us." Kurogane clipped his words bitterly. "She thinks that all along, you've just been playing with us, fooling around until you could get away from us and meet people that you deem more worthy of your company. Watanuki-kun was worried for a while, afraid that you had gotten yourself killed or something. But now he thinks you must have just replaced us too. Doumeki-kun … he's just … Doumeki. Whenever the subject comes up, he never says anything."

Every time Fai is mentioned, Doumeki always stared at Kurogane. Even though the other boy would glower back, Doumeki would just meet his eyes steadily, and Kurogane always looked away first. Those golden eyes always seemed to pierce him and see more of him than other people could, and he hated the way they seemed to accuse him.

"I see," Fai replied softly. "Well, I suppose it's better that way."

"Why," Kurogane demanded with clenched teeth. "Is that better?"

"I was stupid," Fai admitted. "I allowed myself to be sucked into everyday life and I got close to people, even though I knew that it would be best if I kept my distance. I didn't notice I was forming bonds until it was nearly too late, but university was the perfect opportunity to severe them."

"Why?" Kurogane repeated.

Fai sucked in a breath and blew it out noisily. "Look out your window, Kurogane."

Kurogane stood still for a moment, staring at his curtains. Slowly, he got up from his bed and lifted a hand. He paused right before he wrenched the curtains open, already knowing what he would find. His mind erupted in a strange mixture of relief, anger, and anxiety at what he saw.

Fai was standing on the sidewalk outside of his house.

* * *

"Idiot," Kurogane said again, crossing his arms and glaring at Fai.

"That's the twenty-sixth time you've said that since you walked out of the house," Fai told him mildly. "Kuro-rin, I think you need some new insults."

"It's a fact," Kurogane retorted. "You are an absolute, complete idiot."

"Yes," Fai smiled. "I am."

Kurogane grabbed Fai's arm. "Don't you dare say you're an idiot."

Fai looked at Kurogane in amusement. "But you always call me an idiot."

"Only I can call you an idiot," Kurogane told Fai. "Besides, I don't agree with why you think you're an idiot."

"Why do you think I'm an idiot, Kuro-rin?"

"Because you left," Kurogane answered simply. "Because you're so idiotic sometimes. You don't get it, not at all."

"Get what?" Fai seemed genuinely puzzled.

"Exactly." Kurogane, still holding onto Fai, glared at him. "Why did you come back?"

Fai looked away and smiled bitterly. "Because I'm a very selfish person, Kuro-rin."

Kurogane watched him warily. Fai seemed much more tired, much more weary than the last time Kurogane had seen him. "How so?"

But Fai didn't answer his question. Instead, he tugged his arm free and started walking away from Kurogane's house. "Let's go to the park, Kuro-rin!"

"Why?" Kurogane growled, catching up to Fai easily.

Fai looked at him strangely. "For the memories, of course." Then he started skipping, swinging his arms around and humming a vaguely familiar tune. "Come on, Kuro-rin! Loosen up! It's such a beautiful day today; let's go have some fun!"

Annoyed by the sudden change of mood, Kurogane followed Fai to the park. "What's so important about today?"

Fai pranced over to the play structure. There were few little kids around; it must have been time for lunch. "Why do you ask that, Kuro-rin?"

Kurogane watched him clamber up and approach the slide. "Why did you come back today?"

Fai ignored his question. "Come up, Kuro-rin!"

"No."

"But Kuro-riiin …"

"I said no."

Fai pouted. "Fine, then I'm coming down!" But he didn't move from his spot at the slide opening.

"Hurry it up," Kurogane commanded.

A sly grin slid onto Fai's face. "I'm not coming down unless Kuro-rin catches me!"

Kurogane groaned. "Not a chance."

"But Kuro-rin!" Fai widened his eyes in mock fear. "The slide is so scary!"

"Slide down yourself." Kurogane walked right up to slide and stood beside it, glaring up at Fai. "It's shorter than I am!"

"I want Kuro-rin to catch me!" Fai requested again, beaming at Kurogane.

Sighing, Kurogane positioned himself at the end of the slide. "Hurry up."

"Wheeeee!" Fai squealed happily as he slide down. Kurogane caught him at the bottom, grunting slightly as Fai hit him and he was knocked back. For a moment they just sat together in the sand pit, Fai in Kurogane's lap and Kurogane's arms loosely around him.

"Are you mad?" Fai asked softly.

Kurogane thought about this for a while. "Just … frustrated. At your idiocy."

Fai giggled quietly. "I knew you would catch me."

"Huh?"

"The slide," Fai said, a bit impatiently. "I knew you would agree to catch me."

Kurogane huffed.

A few minutes passed in silence.

"Why did you come back?" He asked again finally.

Fai shifted slightly. "You don't sound very happy that I'm back."

Kurogane didn't say anything. He rested his chin on top of Fai's head and contemplated the mix of emotions running through him. "I … didn't think you would come back."

Fai leaned backwards and rested against Kurogane's chest. "I didn't think I would either."

"Then why did you?"

"I wanted to see you again …"

"It took you three and a half years?"

"No … I'm just weak. I've always been weak."

Kurogane lifted Fai up and stood up. Confused, Fai followed his lead. Kurogane grabbed Fai's shoulders and stared into his clear blue eyes. "You're not weak. You're just an idiot."

Fai's face twisted in a wry, but real smile. "It's just like you to say that, Kuro-rin."

Kurogane snorted. "You think you know me?"

"I know I know you," Fai replied, grinning. "Kuro-rin is always so straightforward; it's not hard to predict what you'll do."

"Tch," Kurogane scoffed. "Then you should've known I didn't want you to leave."

Fai looked down. "I did. That's why I had to go."

"You. Are. Such. An. Idiot," Kurogane said slowly, well aware of how the words brought a small smile to Fai's lips. He cupped Fai's face in his hands and forced the blond to look at him. "Don't ever leave again," he whispered before kissing Fai.

"Would you believe me if I said I won't?" Fai whispered back after Kurogane withdrew. He leaned forward, and Kurogane captured his lips again.

"No," Kurogane said, one of his hands moving to play with Fai's hair and another one to press firmly against his back. "I wouldn't."

They didn't say anything else, choosing instead to enjoy each other's company without the poison of words.

* * *

Over half an hour later, the blazing sun threw pink over the park. Kurogane had pulled Fai into the forest, seeking some sort of privacy from the gaping kids and shocked adults. They had passed the time reacquainting themselves, hands and mouths roaming all over the other's body.

Kurogane had been disgusted to find that Fai was thinner than ever. The man was wasting away slowly, whittling himself down day by day. His hair was also longer, but he had tied it back and so many pieces were still drifting around his face that it barely made a difference.

"You got your ears pierced," Kurogane observed with mild surprise as he trailed a line of kisses along Fai's jaw line.

Fai moaned quietly, his breath warm against Kurogane's face. "I was drunk."

Kurogane drew back quickly and glared at Fai. "You were what?"

"I'm allowed to drink if I want to, Kuro-rin," Fai whined, his tone clearly telling Kurogane to drop it. "Besides, it was only that one time."

Kurogane allowed himself to be tugged back, only to pull away again when he ran his hands through Fai's hair and accidently pulled the ribbon out. "Sorry."

Fai smiled at him and knelt to pick up the ribbon. Kurogane was on the verge of making a cutting comment about the masks the idiot still evidently insisted on wearing when he took a closer look at the ribbon.

"It's one of the ones I gave you," Kurogane said, voice neutral. "Years ago."

Fai wound the red ribbon around his hand and refused to meet Kurogane's eyes. "So you were my mysterious admirer, huh?"

"You knew full well it was me," Kurogane rumbled. "Just like I knew those Valentine's Day chocolates were from you."

"We knew each other too well," Fai remarked carelessly.

Kurogane snorted. "It was obvious."

Fai shot him a sly smile. "Kuro-rin didn't have to sneak around though; he should have just announced his love for me!"

"You're the one who gave me chocolate first," he retorted, pulling Fai close for another kiss.

"Hmmm," Fai said dazedly, running a hand over his lips once they had separated. "I guess I was."

* * *

"I have something for you," Fai whispered breathlessly after they enjoyed a long goodbye kiss on Kurogane's doorstep.

"Hmm?" Kurogane buried his nose in Fai's hair and Fai nuzzled into his neck for another moment before fumbling for something in his pocket. Kurogane stared at it for a moment before lifting an eyebrow and looking questioningly at Fai. "A ring?"

"A promise ring," Fai clarified, holding it up so it caught the last of the sun's dying rays. "I want you to make a promise to me, Kurogane."

"What do you want me to promise?"

"Promise that if I ever fall, you'll catch me."

Kurogane stared at Fai, almost insulted. "You don't think I would?"

Fai chuckled briefly. "I don't know."

"Fine then. I promise I will always do everything I can to catch you when you fall." Fai, with a childish grin on his face, lifted his pinky. With a sigh, Kurogane did the same, and chanted the old rhyme. "Pinky promise, hope to die, swallow a thousand needles if I lie."

"Thank you, Kuro-rin." Fai slipped the ring onto his pinky and pulled him down for another kiss.

Once again, it was Fai that stopped first. "Do me a favor?"

"What?" Kurogane asked, in no hurry to go inside.

Fai disentangled himself from Kurogane's arms and stepped back. He kept a smile on his face and his tone light, but it had never fooled Kurogane and still didn't. He narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"Don't come over tonight, okay?" Fai requested of him. "Wait for me to call you."

Kurogane grunted. "Going to run off again?"

Fai flashed him an almost genuine smile and chuckled before getting into his car and driving away.

Kurogane took that as a yes and hurried inside to pack a bag.

* * *

He tore through the streets to Ruval only minutes later, having stopped briefly to tell Tomoyo that he was going to stop Fai from doing something stupid again.

Arriving at the estate, Kurogane rang the doorbell, a strange anxiety passing over him. Something wasn't right, although he couldn't say what. He jabbed at the doorbell a few more times before trying the door. To his surprise, it was unlocked and he stepped in.

The further in he walked, the more evident it became. It slowly became stronger as Kurogane ran deeper into Ruval, doing his best to trace the scent among the twisting hallways. His feet skidded on the smooth floor as he made his way through a part of the building that he had never been to before.

Finally, he saw a light spilling out from a door left slightly ajar. He opened it swiftly, cursing at what lay within.

Kurogane stepped inside and carefully lifted Fai up from a puddle of his own blood. A long sharp blade clattered onto the floor as it slipped through Fai's hands and Kurogane swore again.

Fai really was an idiot.

But he was Kurogane's idiot, and he wouldn't let him die.

* * *

**Now (21 years and 5 months)**

Kurogane has been reassured several times that Fai is doing perfectly fine and will wake up when he's ready. He has been lurking by Fai's bedside for hours, determined that the first thing Fai sees when he wakes up is him.

Kurogane is in the process of debating whether or not he should call Tomoyo to bring some clothes so he can change out of the hospital wear when Fai's eyelids flicker.

And sapphire eyes open.

* * *

**A/N** - I want to give everyone who has read this a big, huge, fat, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you guys, and I can't tell you how happy it makes me when I get a review, or when someone faves or puts this on alert, or even just when I look at the number of views and I know that there are people out there reading. Thank you all so much!

To those interested, I'm not done writing Fai's side yet, but I'll give a tentative posting date of September. I have a few scattered drabbles lying around that are in this 'verse but too short/not important enough to be chapters, and I'll post them eventually too. Also, would anyone be interested in seeing the oneshot that started it all? =)

This was Kurogane's story. I hope you'll all join me when I tell Fai's story as well, but if not, thank you once again for reading and sticking by me!

(edit: just to clarify, FFY is _complete_. What I had originally intended as the epilogue will instead be in Fai's side of the story (it has no title yet XD). His side will be formatted like Kurogane's - mostly memories, but with the present as well, showing their interactions as Fai tells Kurogane about his past.)


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